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She was a rather needy person though. One of those people that can't handle not being together.
And that's fine...she needed to find another person who could deal with her neediness and codependency. Obviously, she found someone and wasn't meant for you.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheHurricaneKid
How do you choose when these two conflict?
Moreover, how do you make a decision that you don't regret, if you have passion for both?
There are times when I look back to a really good relationship and think that I was an absolute idiot to choose pursuing my education the way I did, because I chose a what seemed like a reasonable choice at the time: pursue the field I desired because it's not realistic to expect any one relationship to last, and it's likely that we'd both find someone else.
However, unlike the partner I let go, who is now married, I never found someone as compatible as the person she found.
The unfortunate dillema was that the fields of interests forced a choice between one person having to abandon their dream, which I suspected would cause regret about that, though I don't know for sure.
At any rate, I wish I never met her, if only to spare myself from the painful thoughts of what could have been, even if one of us would have possibly had regret for not pursuing what we were passionate for.
Personally, I'd choose career every time. Good jobs and opportunities are just too damn hard to find. You can date in any city and find a good match. Try finding a good job in most cities today.
As far as time management, in my life of work, school, and dating, I find that I can only do two out of three at a high level at the same time. I just like doing something well over doing something.
Dating is hard when you work full time and take two to three classes at a time .on top of volunteering 4 hours a week and have a weekly commitment for 6 months. Then I am trying to get back fit lost to much weight. I only have a few prerequisites to take . I got to take human AP 1 and human AP 2 , intro chemistry, biology 160,Eng 101 , microbiology, lifespan psychology. Then I can apply for the nursing program so I need to get 3.8 GPA at least to get in.
So if I were to date a girl would have to come 2nd sure I can call her but do not got the time to talk for hours on end . It would be nice to have someone to study with and be supportive of me . I just can't fail it not an option . I would make time for the right woman just as long as she understands that homework and studying is number one in my life then she number 2.
Doesn't our hindsight often wear rose colored glasses?
You made the choice you made at the time, and now you are not sure if it was correct. I don't blame you...I sure wish I had made other choices in my twenties. I have always erred on the side of the relationship and right now I have a mediocre career at best and only a casual relationship that will never be long term.
Who knows how that relationship would have worked out had you made the other choice. Maybe not as good as you sentimentally think it would have.
Since she's married, I guess you have to make a concerted effort to move on.
I honestly don't know if I'm cut out for love, but that's a different conversation. If a job doesn't go well, you'll have money in the bank and increased skills and experience. If a relationship doesn't go well, you have nothing to show for it.
How do you choose when these two conflict?
Moreover, how do you make a decision that you don't regret, if you have passion for both?
There are times when I look back to a really good relationship and think that I was an absolute idiot to choose pursuing my education the way I did, because I chose a what seemed like a reasonable choice at the time: pursue the field I desired because it's not realistic to expect any one relationship to last, and it's likely that we'd both find someone else.
However, unlike the partner I let go, who is now married, I never found someone as compatible as the person she found.
The unfortunate dillema was that the fields of interests forced a choice between one person having to abandon their dream, which I suspected would cause regret about that, though I don't know for sure.
At any rate, I wish I never met her, if only to spare myself from the painful thoughts of what could have been, even if one of us would have possibly had regret for not pursuing what we were passionate for.
I would ask myself, why would a real relationship require that I not pursue my career? Then, I would say to myself, if we can't work it such that I am my real me, whatever that looks like, career, activism passion, whatever and take a pass.
I would ask myself, why would a real relationship require that I not pursue my career? Then, I would say to myself, if we can't work it such that I am my real me, whatever that looks like, career, activism passion, whatever and take a pass.
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