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I just finished reading a thread on why people getting divorce. It seems to me that things like love, trust, respect and money matter are key issues that could break a marriage if not handling them properly even for ones that last for more than 20 years.
I am still single, for better or worse at my age, and would like to learn from other’s mistakes. It might come in handy some day. I would like to know what precisely should one do to sustain a long-term happy marriage. I want solid examples, not abstract concepts. Things that couples can actually do to maintain a happy relationship. Let’s start.
I'm single myself, so the best I can do from you is help you learn from my mistakes.
1. NEVER SETTLE!!!! Just because you're with someone for a long time doesn't mean they're right for you.
2. Really - and I mean really - get to know a person before you make a serious commitment.
3. There has to be compatibility. You should be able to get along with her friends and family, she should be able to get along with your friends and family.
4. Date around. It'll give you an idea of what an ideal mate is for you.
5. Once you find out what you're looking for, don't be afraid to deviate slightly, but not too much. To better explain what I mean, one trait I look for in my ideal mate is to have the same juvenile sense of humor as myself, but I am also a sucker for brown eyes. That doesn't mean that I will dismiss someone who has the same juvenile sense of humor as myself, but has blue eyes.
6. Always seek advice. Have friends and family members you can confide in. After all, they probably know you better than you know yourself.
Treat your partner with at least as much respect and consideration as you treat strangers every day.
Think of your partner's happiness, needs, dreams, goals the same way you think of yours -- work towards them.
Choose a partner who does these things too. A large part of happiness is partner selection.
I forgot about that last one. A relationship is a two-way street, and requires both partners to put forth effort to make it work. If you feel like you're the one doing all the work then you may need to reassess the situation.
I forgot about that last one. A relationship is a two-way street, and requires both partners to put forth effort to make it work. If you feel like you're the one doing all the work then you may need to reassess the situation.
It's very difficult finding someone who is willing to put in the work, though... The women who do are usually taken.
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