People who look like people you have previously dated. (dating, girlfriend, girl)
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Many years ago, i dated this cute chick, we hit it off right away, there was incredible attraction right from the start....but, i was young and incredibly egotistical and acted like a complete jerk and she dumped me (rightly so). When i dated her, i realized that she was my "type" and there was something about her that i was just naturally attracted to, hard to explain, it wasnt that she was a knockout model, she was a cute above avg girl, not even a girl you might look twice at passing on the street, but i felt like there was something deep down in my dna that was predisposed to be attracted to a girl who looked like her even though my concious mind told me that there are a lot of other prettier fish in the sea...with her, it wasnt about looks, it was more of a "natural selection' situation.
Fast Forward to recent times, i'm thousands of miles away from this original situation, there's this girl who works at the grocery store that i always frequent and she looks almost exactly like this girl i dated i my first paragraph. Here's the interesting part. I've made eye contact with this girl at the grocery store and she looks at me almost like she knows she's my type and when i look at her, i look at her knowing that she is my type and i would probably try and date her if i wasnt already in an LTR.
Have you ever had a 'natural selection' situation like this where you just felt more attracted to someone even though your concious mind might have been confused as to why the attraction was so strong despite the other person not being a "9 or 10"?
Many years ago, i dated this cute chick, we hit it off right away, there was incredible attraction right from the start....but, i was young and incredibly egotistical and acted like a complete jerk and she dumped me (rightly so). When i dated her, i realized that she was my "type" and there was something about her that i was just naturally attracted to, hard to explain, it wasnt that she was a knockout model, she was a cute above avg girl, not even a girl you might look twice at passing on the street, but i felt like there was something deep down in my dna that was predisposed to be attracted to a girl who looked like her even though my concious mind told me that there are a lot of other prettier fish in the sea...with her, it wasnt about looks, it was more of a "natural selection' situation.
Fast Forward to recent times, i'm thousands of miles away from this original situation, there's this girl who works at the grocery store that i always frequent and she looks almost exactly like this girl i dated i my first paragraph. Here's the interesting part. I've made eye contact with this girl at the grocery store and she looks at me almost like she knows she's my type and when i look at her, i look at her knowing that she is my type and i would probably try and date her if i wasnt already in an LTR.
Have you ever had a 'natural selection' situation like this where you just felt more attracted to someone even though your concious mind might have been confused as to why the attraction was so strong despite the other person not being a "9 or 10"?
First of all, I don't like the fact that people are rated from 1-10, this is plain ridiculous. Who are you to judge if a person is a 2 or a 9? Anyway.
A few years back, I was attracted to a guy who was objectively speaking "not good looking" but I was drawn to him. He ended up treating me like pretty badly but anyway. We didn't date or anything.
Also, recently. I met a guy online who I thought was cute. When I met him in real life I was quite disappointed as he didn't really look like his pictures but I was still drawn to him. He just had that one thing that made him so hot despite the fact that objectively speaking, he's not GQ material. Just an average guy. Ironically, he treated me poorly too. Same, no dating involved.
Looking back on it, I even wonder how I was attracted to them in the first place because they're not my "ideal" type but you know how attraction works. You can't help who you're attracted to.
However, those two guys looked nothing like one another. One was 6' blonde hair/blue eyes. The other was 5'8 brown hair, brown eyes.
Guess you can be unattractive inside and out, and still be able to attract people.
If you like the person's personality, you'll obviously be more attracted to them.
With the 1-10 thing, I think, with age, we realize that these conventional ratings don't matter much and that being emotionally and sexually compatible with someone is more important than just someone who's nice to look at.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wall st kid
Have you ever had a 'natural selection' situation like this where you just felt more attracted to someone even though your concious mind might have been confused as to why the attraction was so strong despite the other person not being a "9 or 10"?
I have had the experience of running into someone who looked somewhat like one person or another I had dated in the past and actually, it was more of a weird/off feeling (not their fault, obviously) than an attraction, as they looked like the person, but didn't sound/act like him...my brain kept going..."huh?"
I have dated guys who look entirely different, all along every possible spectrum that I can think of, really...eyes...hair...weight...personality specifics...jobs...everything. What they tend to have in common is intelligence and humor, not looks.
I haven't experienced this "natural selection" situation the OP speaks about, and in fact, what I find physically attractive seems to be changing as I get older. The men I'm attracted to tend to be ones who can make me laugh and are intelligent, genuinely kind people. Looks wise, they tend to be what most would consider "average" which makes sense, when you consider I'm pretty average myself.
There is one who has always been a bit dangerous for me, if you will. He is exactly a year younger than my LH and they share a lot of the same characteristics. He's fascinating to me in that he couldn't be any more like yet at the same time any more different than my LH. I fascinate him as well for his own reasons. We do the dance, but have acknowledged that's where that line ends.
However, my best friend's ex-husband has a new girlfriend and I did a double take when she changed her FB profile pic - in the picture, she looks almost exactly like my best friend.
Yeah, that was my bad, I'm afraid. I commented because Post #2 complained about rating people 1-10 and then went on to rate men as GQ material.
After I posted, I noticed it was started in 2013. I considered deleting the post, but let it ride.
Anyway, I gotta learn not to reply to the "Similar Threads" below without checking the date!
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