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I am a 26 year old male and I've been with my beautiful 32 year old girlfriend for over 5 years now, and I could honestly say that I am deeply in love with her. I've never felt so loved and happy before, and I believe that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Our sex life is out of this world, and I can't keep up with her, and we also have a really deep emotional connection. I'm about to ask her to marry me, however, I'm suddenly feeling really hesitant and I think it's because she's 6 years older than me...
My girlfriend has always been a lot less mature than me, and I think that stems from the fact that she lived a very sheltered life. I was also her first real boyfriend, and she lost her virginity to me. She also looks a lot younger than she is, and people are always amazed that she's older than me. In essence, I've always felt like the older, and more mature person in our relationship. We are also in the same place career wise, and we both discussed wanting to have kids in about 3-4 years from now.
Despite this, though, I can't help but worry about our age difference...It feels nonexistent now, but I worry that It'll be evident in the future...At times I think that 6 years is such a small age gap and that my worries are incredibly immature and nonsensical. But at times I feel that our 6 year age difference is something to worry about, maybe not now, but in the future...
I am deeply in love with this girl, and I've never been so physically and emotionally attracted to someone before. I'm about to ask her for marriage, but I can't get rid of the nagging thought that she's older than me.
Am I crazy? Is a 6 year age difference really that big of a deal among adults?
tl;dr: I'm about to ask my beautiful girlfriend to marry me, but lately I can't get over the fact that she's 6 years older than me. Are my concerns unjustified?
Sounds like you have a great relationship, something many people wished they had. You've already been together for 5 years, and want to marry her. What exactly is your issue with her being 6 years older than you?
Location: Prescott Valley,az summer/east valley Az winter
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At least with the age difference and standard lifespans she will not have to live years and years after you pass before she gets old. That age difference will feel smaller and smaller as you age, and is normal in a lot of 55+ snowbird areas.
You were 21 when you first got together. Honestly I think the real issue is you have not had the chance just to be a 20 year old guy and date around- which is completely understandable. And really she hasn't had a chance to be with others as you were her first. You should do some soul searching and think hard about what you want to do.
Marriage is wonderful but if you are not sure now it's only going to multiply later...especially with kids and all the other responsibilities that come with marriage and building a life together.
You sound like the real problem isn't the age difference, but her lack of maturity, which makes you feel as if you're actually older than she is. Chronological age in a case like this is irrelevant. What's important is the psychological/emotional age difference. Think about whether that would be a problem for you over time, or not.
Would you feel better proposing to a 20 year old woman who you don't love?
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