I can't believe he said this... (girlfriend, man, attracted, divorced)
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What weight is there to lose? She's 5'4" and 140 pounds in her early 40s with three kids. If she's medium-boned, like I am, and she's a size 6-8, she's probably quite trim.
Thanks. I would like to lose 10-15 lbs and get back into the size 4s in my closet though! :-)
However, he did not know me then. I am exactly the same now as when he met me 10 months ago.
Sounds to me like you are the size and shape that the majority of men find the most attractive. Womanly, but not fat.
I agree that he only wants you because he found out he cannot bag what he really wants. Dump him and find an awesome guy who thinks you are smokin' hot. It will be easy.
After about three weeks of looking to date others, he told me that he wants to get back together with me BUT he really wants the person he is with to be a "hard body" (news to me!) and so he wants me to lose weight and get in shape. After my initial reaction (which you can probably imagine was not good!), he then kind of changed his thought and said that he really loves me and wants to be with me even if I don't change and wants to be back in the relationship with both feet and sees a future for us.
Thoughts?
redallen, he just gave you a glimpse of his true self...do you like it?...I wouldn't.
No. He wants you, but he wants you to his specifications. We should never go into a relationship trying to change a person, or make and mold them into who we would like them to be.
So he likes this part of you and not that, if you do this then blah blah.
No.
We do not change people. If a person needs to change, they need to realize and decide that for themselves.
You will never be good enough for this man, while truly, you are probably too good for him.
We do not change people. If a person needs to change, they need to realize and decide that for themselves.
wow, i wish every woman would take this to heart because there are lots of women who want to "change" their man, and it is often encouraged by something called nagging.
And for the men--would you ever truly be happy with someone who wasn't your physical ideal if you had such a strong desire for something your gf wasn't?
Sounds like a man who thought he had "options" and found out that he really doesn't. Then, upon said epiphany, realized he was better off with you than without.
But yeah, you may want to consider passing on this guy. If a relationship with him is what you'd like, then you should consider telling him that you're looking for long-term and he needs to accept you "as-is" just as you would do for him.
--Dim
This is exactly what I was thinking. He thought he could do better, realized those 20 year old hotties thought he was unattractive so he went sulking back to his best 'option'.
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