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Let me give everyone here my best piece of advice. There is something called "personality disorder". If someone you are dating tells you (and for some reason they often will) that they have been diagnosed with a "personality disorder" then run... far away. Run and never look back. Change your phone number, move if you must.
Spends more than six hours a day on Facebook
Spends more than 4 of her 5 mobile broadband data gigabytes on Facebook
Spends more than $50/week at Starbucks
2. Bad at texting (I'm hearing-impaired) so it must be very important to me. I can still understand on the phone 75% of the time, but I'm not comfortable with it anyway.
3. Talk about herself especially being negative or never ask questions.
This was really hard, because "red flags" are different than personality traits, which many people have listed. I think that red flags are anything that makes you feel vaguely unsettled rather than outright "Um ... NO." For example, a baby daddy would be an outright NO for me. But red flags? They're more subtle. Mine have been:
1. Is "friends" with an ex-fiancee/ex-wife/ex-girlfriend or another woman but won't introduce us
2. Treats service workers (waitstaff, carhops, etc.) condescendingly
3. Spends too much time using social media
Right before I met my husband, mine were (before social media, texting, etc)
1. Someone who never had relationship experience or much in the way of a physical relationship/virgin. (later - when I was inexperienced this didn't bother me but after time I wanted someone more on my experience level, too) Only because I had been with this type before, and once he had a bit of experience with me it's all he wanted. He because obsessed to the point where I'd be trying to say goodbye and drive away he'd still be grabbing my boobs. Unattractive. There was a lot of immaturity in that, in my experience. I felt like it was not a grown-up relationship and I was with a high school boy who just discovered his father's porn stash for the first time.
2. Someone who attempted to occupy most of my free time, wanted to know where I was all the time; doesn't allow me to have my "me" time. Doesn't like it when I spend time with family or by myself.
3. I grew up in a small town, so if there were rumors or gossip about someone, they usually had some sort of truth. If you were a good person who kept their nose clean, people were not going to start anything about you for absolutely no reason. Things may not be 100% true, but if you heard something, there usually was something behind it. So, hearing some sort of trouble or drama about something would raise a red flag and you ought to at least tread lightly.
I agree with Melissa (about traits versus red flags) baby daddys/kids, large age differences, etc were always an absolute NO for me - not a red flag - just a NO and a deal breaker/non-preference for me. I just wasn't cut out for that, nothing personal.
1. Dysfunctional family relationships
2. Smoker
3. Caught in numerous small untruths (in my experience, they portend larger ones being hidden)
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