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If a man has a girlfriend/wife, then what does he need porn for?
The lie men force themselves to believe. Men are different. For the sake of argument lets just say some men can actually look at porn and STILL find there wives attractive, and NOT want to try any of the positions they had seen in some movie. In other words it is possible for some men to separate the two, and make their wives feel special during moments of intimacy. Since a lot of women consider that a man who even does what I just described to be disrespectful to her feelings and lower her self esteem than you're absolutely right once a man gets married or has a girlfriend there is absolutely no need for porn. I was just thinking out loud.
But seriously, maybe it's just that women who don't fit what's being discussed are the ones most likely to respond so it ends up seeming like all women are reactionary fakers.
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Originally Posted by DR2012
I think that's probably why. People tend to respond to what they relate to, or they want to pipe up and defend an incorrect stereotype.
That makes sense. However, that's not necessarily the case. They are not merely saying they don't fit that description, they are saying most women do not fit that description. Looking at Dewdrop's "Where do you get this stuff?" response it is clear she is trying to say that's not the case with women at all. That's pretty much how it is: make a statement that women perceive as negative and there will be no end to the women who say it doesn't apply to them. Say, "I notice women love to go shopping," and there will be at least a dozen women who will say, "I hate shopping. None of my friends like to go shopping. Where do you get this stuff?"
But let's face it, the overwhelming majority of porn watchers are men. Let's not do the typical CD thing and get hung up discussing minor exceptions to general rules.
Then given that logic I'll save everyone the trouble. A man who watches porn is disrespectful to his wife/girlfriend, is addicted to it, and is incapable of having any meaningful long term relationship. To disagree with this statement should be a criminal offense. Oh yes when women watch (the 1 or 2 ) they are ALWAYS in complete control, because they view it in moderation, and are always respectful to the feelings of their mates, so they are NEVER told by their significant other that their viewing of porn can/has had a negative impact on their relationship. In fact their viewing of said subject is always a good thing that can spice up an otherwise dull or boring relationship. Come to think of it when women view porn their relationships were never dull or boring to begin with because of the PERFECT balance they strike.
I haven't read all the posts, but turning to porn as punishment is amateur behavior in a relationship. Turning to porn in secret, is amateur behavior. E.g. "if she turns me down, I won't suffer so I'll look at porn." Seriously? That stuff creates distance in a relationship, not intimacy and closeness. Sex can be much better than that, it's about your connection, respect and growth as a human. Sex is a 24/7 thing, and most of it in your head.
You can never control anybody else, and never "make" somebody do/not do something. But, you can choose what you want in your life, and what's worth putting up with.
My girlfriend and I were discussing porn and women who object to it. She was reading this post on BabyCenter. My question to the men out there, do you think that as a grown man, women should be able to tell you what you can or can not get off to or what you can or can not watch when they're not around?
To me, for example, this is the equivalent to me trying to tell her what she's allowed to think about when she getting off or me banning her from reading books or watching movies that I deem too sexual for her...
Unless you want a second mother as a wife I see no reason to put up with that.
Unless you want a second mother as a wife I see no reason to put up with that.
I agree. I wasn't talking about men who watch porn when their woman's right there. I'm talking about women who think they have the right to ban their men from watching it all the time. To me it wouldn't be any of their business.
That makes sense. However, that's not necessarily the case. They are not merely saying they don't fit that description, they are saying most women do not fit that description. Looking at Dewdrop's "Where do you get this stuff?" response it is clear she is trying to say that's not the case with women at all. That's pretty much how it is: make a statement that women perceive as negative and there will be no end to the women who say it doesn't apply to them. Say, "I notice women love to go shopping," and there will be at least a dozen women who will say, "I hate shopping. None of my friends like to go shopping. Where do you get this stuff?"
Oh no, I totally agree. I just think that the fact that they feel drawn to point out that you're not correct in the first place can make it likely for them to exaggerate the opposite to make their point in the same way blanket way they probably feel you're making yours.
I don't know if I'd call that a female thing as much as an "offended person" thing. BUT I agree that's not always the case. Just that I lean more towards that than women on a whole having some need to let on like all women are perfect and nothing any man says applies to them.
That "my $hit don't stink" mentality may just seem more pronounced on forums than it really is.
I agree. I wasn't talking about men who watch porn when their woman's right there. I'm talking about women who think they have the right to ban their men from watching it all the time. To me it wouldn't be any of their business.
Well I know you were referring to those types but still the principle is the same. Even when they are not around you just don't worry about it. You watch what you want. You don't need a second mother in your life especially when you are a grown man.
I agree. I wasn't talking about men who watch porn when their woman's right there. I'm talking about women who think they have the right to ban their men from watching it all the time. To me it wouldn't be any of their business.
On the one hand, it's not any of their business, and if it truly isn't affecting the relationship, then porn shouldn't be a problem. On the other hand, I think a woman does have the right to be concerned if she finds that her SO is watching a lot of "barely legal" or violent or extreme stuff. If a woman doesn't like porn, it doesn't necessarily mean that she's insecure or a prude. There's a lot about porn that's problematic, and shaming her for her concerns and telling her to suck it up and deal with it isn't the hallmark of a respectful relationship..
On the one hand, it's not any of their business, and if it truly isn't affecting the relationship, then porn shouldn't be a problem. On the other hand, I think a woman does have the right to be concerned if she finds that her SO is watching a lot of "barely legal" or violent or extreme stuff. If a woman doesn't like porn, it doesn't necessarily mean that she's insecure or a prude. There's a lot about porn that's problematic, and shaming her for her concerns and telling her to suck it up and deal with it isn't the hallmark of a respectful relationship..
I agree that shaming a woman for her concerns is a bad idea, but the same should apply to women who try to shame men which is the case most of the time.
I'm just curious to hear others opinion on this as well since it's been brought up several times in this thread already. What legal porn is problematic? I think that most men know that the scenes in porn are role play, and just because they watch it, doesn't mean they want to beat up and rape women or molest a child.
Why isn't this same logic applied to men who watch a lot of violent action movies? Would you be concerned about them wanting to become a hitman who'll "whack" dozens of people just because they like watching actors do it on TV?
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