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I think I was date raped Friday night. It was our first date. I've had a crush on him for a really long time and I was really excited. We went out for drinks and then we went back to my house because I thought it would be more comfortable to relax there. I was dressed conservatively and was not being flirtatious at all. I was drinking a lot, but we were not talking about sex, or cuddling, or doing anything sexual. So I was not sending mixed signals. We were having intellectual conversation. It was our first date after not seeing each other for 22 years. I haven't dated anyone in several months and wanted to take things slow because I've had bad experiences with men lately.
So we were at my house drinking, and then we went out to eat. It was still early so we picked up some vodka and went back to my house. I let him pour the drinks while I went to the restroom. I don't know if he spiked my drink with something or just made my drink extra strong, but next thing I knew I had to go lay down, I felt like I was gonna pass out. He laid down next to me and started rubbing my back. T hen I ran to the bathroom to throw up. I was extremely dizzy and nauseous. Usually I can handle my alcohol very well and it was still early. I figured he would leave when he saw I was getting sick. He hadn't been drinking as much as me and still seemed sober.
So then I got back into bed and passed out. I figured he would go home but he ended up getting into bed with me. Sometime in the middle of the night I woke up from being cold. He seemed to sense I was awake and started cuddling with me and started touching my body. I was just glad not to be cold anymore so I didn't say anything, but I was still so out of it. I felt extremely sick and could hardly move. He started undressing me even though I wasn't moving or doing anything. I even tried to push him away from me with my hand but he ignored it.
When he got me undressed he rolled me over and got on top of me. He's bigger than me and I didn't do much to resist because I already knew there was no way I could fight him off. I was extremely weak and he was much bigger and stronger than me. Then he just went ahead and had sex with me without saying a word. He didn't even use a condom. I felt so sick and out of it I couldn't move or say anything. I realized afterwards that he finished inside me.
Was this rape??? We didn't say anything about it the next day. But I felt sick the whole day, nauseous with a pounding headache. I wonder if he drugged me because of the way I suddenly blacked out after having only about 7 drinks over the course of 5 hours, plus a meal. That much alcohol would not affect me that much, I can usually drink a lot more than that and be perfectly functional.
I trusted this guy because I knew him a long ways back and we have a ton of mutual friends and I even know some of his family. I never thought he would do something like that.
The thing that concerns me the most is that he finished inside me and I'm not on the pill. I don't believe in abortion.
Does this sound like rape?? Why would he do that to me? Thank you in advance for your replies!!!
based on your post history, you probably should take a long term break from men and reevaluate your life. If you keep picking up scumbag men, change up the way you evaluate men. Men like him prey on women with insecurities like you.
This sounds like you brought a selfish aggressive bastard into your home...I would say that you were not drugged but had a touch of alcohol poisoning....If he was pouring the booze - he was probably serving you four ounces at a time...I don't think you actually know how much you ingested...You were stone cold drunk...and in a semi-conscious state...The fact that this man as aware that you were vomiting and did not take care of you but took advantage of someone who for all intent and purpose was unconscious....There is not much you can do about it...I just hope you learned your lesson.... as for getting pregnant...the chances of that are rare.....as for this PIG.....shun this bastard...this is not a person capable of love or tenderness....
Would you call it rape? I would say yes....but it if you took legal action it would just become a he said she said thing........In the future do not drink when you are dating.....Getting to the point of being a fall down drunk in the presence of someone you do not know is dangerous...
I feel sorry for you....If I was your father - I would be tempted to give this creep a punch in the face....Please take care of yourself...You don't need a belly full of booze to enjoy yourself.
based on your post history, you probably should take a long term break from men and reevaluate your life. If you keep picking up scumbag men, change up the way you evaluate men. Men like him prey on women with insecurities like you.
Nawh......................it is not about "scumbag men"..............or evaluating men....it is about alcohol and the abuse of the substance...She does not need to take a break from men...she needs to take a break from booze...once you have ingested alcohol...Your judgement goes out the window...so does logic and common sense.......I will be blunt...YOU DRINK TO MUCH.
Last edited by observer53; 09-24-2013 at 04:14 PM..
Reason: fixed broken quote tag
How do people not realize what rape is? I guess you're just really confused about what just happened to you.
You could have drank more alcohol than you thought you did, or he could have just added much more alcohol to your drink, so you would get drunk faster. I suppose a date-rape drug might have been used.
But why would you trust a person whom you haven't spoken to in over 22 years, and then decided to drink with him, and then take him home with you? You inviting him over to your house on a first date is pretty much the biggest signal to a lot of men that he's going to get laid at some point that night, and while you were completely hammered drunk, he did it.
That guy is a real winner and yes, he raped you because you didn't consent to it.
Yes, it sounds like rape.
This happened Friday. Today's Monday. Any evidence, including any trace of a date-rape drug, is likely gone.
You can still report it but it will turn into a "he said, she said" situation with no witnesses or evidence.
One bit of advice is that she should evaluate men....You can't make an evaluation or see if a man is of good value if you are drunk. Yes you were raped...and it will happen again if you give up control of yourself by loosing control by being intoxicated. Don't let it happen again...
99% chance you weren't drugged. 7 drinks is a lot. A lot of women have the tendency to underestimate how much they really drank. Just because you drank 7 drinks one time and didn't throw up doesn't me you aren't a lightweight. Next time, don't allow scumbags in your home when you are drunk because being drunk impairs your judgment.
Were able to give consent? If not, then it was rape. I wouldn't hang around this guy at all anymore. You even tried to push him away at one point. Warn your friends about him. Even if he didn't deliberately drug you, it was wrong for him to take advantage of you when you were obviously unwell.
As for pregnancy, you should see a clinic or a doctor as soon as you can.
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