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You should quit dating for a while
You should not drink when you are on a date
You should seek professional therapy
As far as being raped, hard to say actually since you are just now wondering if you were raped 3 days later. Any legal avenue you pursue could turn into a he said she said but again hard to say.
You should have gone straight to the Doctor or Emergency Room for a rape kit the moment you felt like you may have been raped instead of posting on a public forum asking if you have been raped.
By the way "Just raped" is not the same as "I think I might have been raped 3 days ago".
Do you understand -- IT DOES NOT MATTER. What "type of girl" she is is immaterial to what happened to her.
Because she is a "certain type of girl" then it's okay for some guy to invade her privacy, take advantage of her weakness, and potentially get her pregnant?
SMH. So..... if you have debts it's okay for someone to steal from you? If you are looking at your phone, it's okay to run you over on the road? If you let your child run wild, somebody is justified kidnapping him? Two wrongs make a right now?
Please ignore all these judgmental posters, OP. Anyway, I'm sure they wouldn't give similar advice to a man who was raped. Somehow a woman just "deserves it."
You should quit dating for a while
You should not drink when you are on a date
You should seek professional therapy
As far as being raped, hard to say actually since you are just now wondering if you were raped 3 days later. Any legal avenue you pursue could turn into a he said she said but again hard to say.
You should have gone straight to the Doctor or Emergency Room for a rape kit the moment you felt like you may have been raped instead of posting on a public forum asking if you have been raped.
By the way "Just raped" is not the same as "I think I might have been raped 3 days ago".
Why don't YOU quit dating for a while
Why don't YOU not drink on a date
...etc.
Don't you wag your finger at her. You have NO idea what it's like. I'm sure she is trying to process what happened to her. It is deeply injurious to the psyche.
(please don't ask me how I know)
I will give you some advice though, moongirl. STOP talking to him right now. This is evidence that can be used against you, that you pursued a relationship with the rapist. The person that posted that you should call a rape hotline, that's the best advice. They are trained to help you, and know this scenario well.
birdinmigration Thank you. You are exactly right. Thanks so much for your support.
I agree with you, if my post were the same but say I was a straight male and I was hanging out with an old guy friend and I got drunk and passed out and then that guy friend who was secretly a homosexual sexually assaulted m in the middle of the night, I'm sure everyone would agree that is rape. But just because I'm a straight female and I had a romantic interest in the guy, that justifies him to rape me and I deserved it because I was getting drunk with him in my own house?
SMH
Something needs to be done about the victim blaming when it comes to rape
And as for reporting him, I can guarantee that would be a long drawn out traumatic experience which would probably ruin my life and turn all our mutual friends against me. I'm sure they would side with him and say I'm just a sl*t who asked for it. And in the end he'd probably get off anyways. Or if he went to jail him and everyone else would hate and blame me for it.
There's no way I can win. And I began to suspect he raped me the very next day. But I chose not to report it for these reasons. And I was too sick at that time to come onto forums to ask about it.
Thanks to everyone who answered! And to all the good advice! I'll look into some counseling.
Why don't YOU quit dating for a while
Why don't YOU not drink on a date
...etc.
Don't you wag your finger at her. You have NO idea what it's like. I'm sure she is trying to process what happened to her. It is deeply injurious to the psyche.
(please don't ask me how I know)
I will give you some advice though, moongirl. STOP talking to him right now. This is evidence that can be used against you, that you pursued a relationship with the rapist. The person that posted that you should call a rape hotline, that's the best advice. They are trained to help you, and know this scenario well.
1) IMMEDIATELY get a hold of the morning after pill
2) go to the hospital and tell them you think you where raped and start the process and tests that will need to be done to verify and create a paper trail in the event this ends up much worse in the near future. (std, baby, etc)
3) file a police report
My opinion is that you should never invite a man into your house ALONE *especially* when you are drinking if you are not willing to have sex with him. You are putting yourself in a very precarious position especially a man who is MUCH BIGGER AND STRONGER THAN YOU.
This does not excuse his bad behavior, but you have to use your head and take precautions.
If you did not fight him, there is no way you cannot prove it was consensual. Sorry, that is the litmus test. And you have no proof about the drugs. You could have just had a bad reaction to the drinking and/or the food.
20yrsinBranson
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