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It doesn't make what he did right but it is apparent to me you drugged yourself. Alcohol is one of the worst drugs out there and it's obvious to me you are abusing. Not saying he didn't "spike" one of your drinks. That could have happened as well.
I was hoping you would come out and admit you have a problem. I hope for your sake you get the help you need.
If you are pregnant and follow through on your plan don't let him off the hook. And for the sake of your possible baby lay off the alcohol completely.
This should have been reported to the authorities long ago. It's probably not too late. I suggest you look into it.
You say that what he did wasn't right, but then you go back to blaming her "alcohol problem" partly for causing her rape. I don't care if she was drunk to the point of alcohol poisoning, the person has no right to sexually violate her. And to say one should lay off alcohol completely misses the point. She certainly needs to practice moderation in her drinking, but to cut off the consumption cold turkey is another roundabout way of blaming the victim for contributing to her own rape.
Is Plan B considered abortion? I didn't know that.
No, it's not. Check the link below. I even customized it to fit the time frame in which the OP said this incident happened. It PREVENTS pregnancy; it does not TERMINATE pregnancy. Sorry for the emphasis, but this is really important information.
Sperm can live in the reproductive tract without fertilizing an egg for up to 5 days. If you take Plan B within 5 days of intercourse, you have a good chance of preventing conception. OP has one day left in that window.
Last edited by CMMom; 09-24-2013 at 11:45 AM..
Reason: forgot the link
You say that what he did wasn't right, but then you go back to blaming her "alcohol problem" partly for causing her rape. I don't care if she was drunk to the point of alcohol poisoning, the person has no right to sexually violate her. And to say one should lay off alcohol completely misses the point. She certainly needs to practice moderation in her drinking, but to cut off the consumption cold turkey is another roundabout way of blaming the victim for contributing to her own rape.
There is more than one point. I think we have gone so far in swinging the pendulum against victim blame that one cannot advise someone on safe behavior without being accused of it. There is only one person in this scene who is a rapist. But there is one victim also who needs to protect herself better as well. Let us not lose sight of that.
Check your legal precedence. You will be surprised. Because you are fully ignorant of rape law.
When she tells the police that she didn't want to hurt his feelings and didn't want to ruin the possibility of having a relationship with him because she really likes the guy, I'd say the legal definition of rape is out the window.
When she tells the police that she didn't want to hurt his feelings and didn't want to ruin the possibility of having a relationship with him because she really likes the guy, I'd say the legal definition of rape is out the window.
Prosecution is unlikely which does not sound like what this poster was about anyway.
It is totally depressing (as a male) to see an endless strain of victim-blaming by other males (and even some females) permeating throughout this thread. I have heard people say, in so many words: why did you let this 'pervert' in the house? Why did you get drunk? What did you expect when you invited him into your house?
I think it's a sad state of affairs that these are the most common responses, and the vitrol is not dedicated towards the actual perpetrator of the abuse. I think it is well within a person's right to expect to be able to enter their house with a person they trust and not be sexually violated. And furthermore, all the people who Monday-morning quarterback about the characteristics of the perpetrator - "he was a pervert, why did you let him in?" are excusing the behavior of the perpetrator while blaming the victim. Abusers are clever at appearing to be wholesome, honest, "bastions of the community", upstanding citizens. But when the guard of their prey is let down, their true colors come out.
The problem with the term "victim-blaming" is that it requires a confirmed victim to be relevant. None of us here can possibly know whether or not the OP was a sexual assault victim based solely upon her post. In spite of that, numerous people have granted her unequivocal victim status.
To begin with, we are aware of only one side of the story. That account comes from a poster whose posting history would suggest that she is either highly-immature and narcissistic, or that she suffers from some profound psychological issues. If the latter is the case, she needs to be pursuing contact with mental health professionals instead of posters on an urban affairs website.
The story itself contains one very important and irreconcilable contradiction: she was unconscious, but remembers the events which took place. Unconscious people don't remember the things that happened when they were unconscious--that's one of the basic effects of being unconscious. Regardless of her state of consciousness, she had consumed enough alcohol to have three times the BAC needed for a DUI arrest. If fact, assuming average weight for an American woman, she was closer to death by alcohol poisoning than she was to being drunk enough for a DUI.
None of this means that she wasn't the victim of a sexual assault. When such assaults do occur they are obviously very traumatic for the victim. Victims can be confused as to the chronology of events, particularly when they have consumed the amount of alcohol she took in. All of which makes it that much more important for her to go to the police so that a legitimate investigation of her allegations can begin.
The problem with the term "victim-blaming" is that it requires a confirmed victim to be relevant. None of us here can possibly know whether or not the OP was a sexual assault victim based solely upon her post. In spite of that, numerous people have granted her unequivocal victim status.
To begin with, we are aware of only one side of the story. That account comes from a poster whose posting history would suggest that she is either highly-immature and narcissistic, or that she suffers from some profound psychological issues. If the latter is the case, she needs to be pursuing contact with mental health professionals instead of posters on an urban affairs website.
The story itself contains one very important and irreconcilable contradiction: she was unconscious, but remembers the events which took place. Unconscious people don't remember the things that happened when they were unconscious--that's one of the basic effects of being unconscious. Regardless of her state of consciousness, she had consumed enough alcohol to have three times the BAC needed for a DUI arrest. If fact, assuming average weight for an American woman, she was closer to death by alcohol poisoning than she was to being drunk enough for a DUI.
None of this means that she wasn't the victim of a sexual assault. When such assaults do occur they are obviously very traumatic for the victim. Victims can be confused as to the chronology of events, particularly when they have consumed the amount of alcohol she took in. All of which makes it that much more important for her to go to the police so that a legitimate investigation of her allegations can begin.
This is why these situations should be brought to a therapist. Not to an online forum.
If you did not explicitly consent--and your impaired state at the time and what you've said leads me to believe you did not--then yes, you were raped.
Unfortunately, it may be too late to do much about it. The time to call the police is right after it happens, so they can do a rape kit and examine you for bruising and have blood drawn to see if you had been drugged.
The problem with the term "victim-blaming" is that it requires a confirmed victim to be relevant. None of us here can possibly know whether or not the OP was a sexual assault victim based solely upon her post. In spite of that, numerous people have granted her unequivocal victim status.
To begin with, we are aware of only one side of the story. That account comes from a poster whose posting history would suggest that she is either highly-immature and narcissistic, or that she suffers from some profound psychological issues. If the latter is the case, she needs to be pursuing contact with mental health professionals instead of posters on an urban affairs website.
The story itself contains one very important and irreconcilable contradiction: she was unconscious, but remembers the events which took place. Unconscious people don't remember the things that happened when they were unconscious--that's one of the basic effects of being unconscious. Regardless of her state of consciousness, she had consumed enough alcohol to have three times the BAC needed for a DUI arrest. If fact, assuming average weight for an American woman, she was closer to death by alcohol poisoning than she was to being drunk enough for a DUI.
None of this means that she wasn't the victim of a sexual assault. When such assaults do occur they are obviously very traumatic for the victim. Victims can be confused as to the chronology of events, particularly when they have consumed the amount of alcohol she took in. All of which makes it that much more important for her to go to the police so that a legitimate investigation of her allegations can begin.
The one thing we do know is that she was too drunk to have given consent. None of her actions or inactions can be considered consent. She was the victim of sexual assault and it's up to her if she wants to pursue charges. We don't need to hear the other side as nothing can be said to defend his actions with her level of intoxication.
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