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Going to try to make this short. Divorced father of 2, for almost 5 years now. Have job own my own home. Met great woman. Moved in. She has 3 of her own. Older eighter in college or out on their own. She had them when young. Was married for 18 years and her 20, so we both did the long marriage thing and know what its all about. I have a an ok job with excellent benefits, she has ok job with no benefits along with a part time to make ends meet. We both struggle to make ends meet like most people. We both put our kids first when it comes to everything. I see this woman struggle every single say without health insurance. So, i though ti would never entertain the idea of marriage again. I thought i could live happy with someone and just live life without the marriage tittle. Now, i am struggling with the thought of marriage. Despite having 5 kids between us and having to find the time and attention(if thats the right word) for all of them, we have an awesome relationship. Somehow we found in each other, what we never we were never able to find in our previous marriages if that makes any sense. We jsut happend to find it later in life. So, now i see this woman struggle everyday without health insurance. She doesn't have the money to go to a doctor, can't afford a prescription, and hasn't had a physical in a long time. I love this woman and if there was someone i would marry it would be her. If we were married she would automatically be enrolled in my medical benefits. I would no longer have to worry abotu her not getting a physical, not worrying about her getting a mamogram to which i am constantly on top of her with. (ex-wife is a breast cancer survivor, and i take that serious). Now comes the questions. I may sound selfishly here but so be it. I have two kids and everything i have or will have will always be theirs if something was to ever happen, including the house. Is there something we can sign or agree on in writing to protect myself and my kids interests? Is this something i have to go spend money on a lawyer? I do have a will made that states everything goes to my kids. Does second marriage change this? I don't know. I am trying to avoid going through lawyer to get this info. If anyone has been through this or can give some advice, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks again and sorry if long post.
Yes, you should have a prenuptial agreement, to protect everyone -- your kids, her kids, you, her. Yes, you will need a lawyer.
To save money, do lots of reading online and discussing with her before you see the lawyer, and write up a rough-draft list of what you both think would be fair.
Many couples in second marriages do formulate agreements regarding inheritance for dealing with kids from first marriages upon death, it's a smart thing to do actually.
And usually it's only the stuff you buy or acquire AFTER your marriage that would be jointly owned that could get tricky on who inherits what, especially depending on what state you live in.
Do yourself a huge favor - pay the $175-250.00 to get a lawyer to draft wills for you.
You want stuff like this to be iron clad and clear to administer after your death.
You have found love again, a partner you know you plan to be with for life. Now give her the benefits of marriage! Don't let your concerns over future inheritance prevent you from going forward with protecting the woman you love
Now comes the questions. I may sound selfishly here but so be it. I have two kids and everything i have or will have will always be theirs if something was to ever happen, including the house. Is there something we can sign or agree on in writing to protect myself and my kids interests? Is this something i have to go spend money on a lawyer? I do have a will made that states everything goes to my kids. Does second marriage change this? I don't know. I am trying to avoid going through lawyer to get this info. If anyone has been through this or can give some advice, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks again and sorry if long post.
Well I am very happy for the two of you! Congratulations on finding love again.
I agree with the prenup if you want things to go to your children. I really must ask the question that I have not seen asked yet, however.
If something were to happen to you and you left her behind as well as your children where does she live? The house has gone to your children.
Personally I would not get married just for the financial benefit which in your case is adding someone onto your insurance. Of course everything looks good on paper and when the relationship is going well, you can't see any downsides. However, when things get ugly I can guarantee what small financial benefit you may have reaped early on will pale in comparison to the costs of splitting up.
Oh for Gods sake. You Americans and your pre-nups. We don't have them here mainly because the courts ignore them.
MARRIAGE IS THE JOINING OF TWO SEPARATE PEOPLE INTO ONE LEGAL ENTITY.
A pre-nup is legal proof that you should not be even thinking about entering into a marriage with that person.
You become one person, literally, in the eyes of the law and as such, everything you have is theirs.
That's it. You could be CEO of your own shoe company and your loved one a Mexican gardener, but instantly your personal wealth is halved and his increased, forever.
It's the nature of the beast. Marriage that is. If you aren't prepared to give away everything you own, don't do it.
A pre-nup is the equivalent of crossing your fingers behind your back when you say your vows.
It takes all the importance from them, it's a great big fat "yes I love you BUT". No marriage should begin like this.
There is a clear solution to all your concerns OP - don't marry her.
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We don't have them here mainly because the courts ignore them. 
