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Most people are going to experience situations where they simply are not going to find someone attractive no matter how hard they squint. At best, they might find the person "tolerable." Personally, I would not want to be with someone who found me "tolerable" and overlooked my several physical flaws that would have been dealbreakers in the past because I have such a great personality.
There's no obligation to marry or even be in a relationship with someone so I've never really understood why people are so eager to advise people to relax their physical standards. As I said before, most people have already relaxed their standards quite a bit, and what you're essentially asking them to do is to go past their breaking point for the sake of having someone.
Maybe they just don't see physical appearance as the most important thing.
If it's just a hump and dump I don't know why you would.
For a relationship you would be more concerned about their appearance because you tend to look at them more with the lights on.
Maybe they just don't see physical appearance as the most important thing.
If it's just a hump and dump I don't know why you would.
For a relationship you would be more concerned about their appearance because you tend to look at them more with the lights on.
Not finding someone attractive doesn't mean that you see physical appearance as the most important thing. That's like saying you find money to be the most important thing because you don't want to date someone grilling burgers.
Most people have thresholds for certain qualities that represent an absolute floor for them. They may not need 100K, but 40K is unacceptable. They may not need need a SI swimsuit model body, but a 36 inch waist is unacceptable, etc, etc. I think very few people see "looks as the most important thing."
For most people, there's a lot of room to operate in between the absolute pinnacle of human physical perfection and outright toad. This is how 99.9% of people end up in romantic relationships of some kind.
Not finding someone attractive doesn't mean that you see physical appearance as the most important thing.
I was specifically talking about physical appearance.
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That's like saying you find money to be most important thing because you don't want to date someone grilling burgers.
I'm beginning to understand why do many people are single these days.
I find this strange too what's wrong with grilling burgers it's honest work. I met my partner when he was a waiter. I had a couple people tell me not to get with him because of that. Always puzzled me.
I was specifically talking about physical appearance.
I know you were. My point was that people have limits for all types of things. And that's totally fine.
If someone doesn't want to date someone they don't find physically appealing, I don't consider that some type of moral failing or spiritual defect. It sounds like you might.
I'm beginning to understand why do many people are single these days.
I mean, this is one way to look at it.
Another way to look at is that people know what makes them happy and won't settle for less.
Gone are the days when grandpa/grandma stuck it out with someone they never really wanted to be with in the first place. The girl gramps truly wanted chose another man and the man granny wanted died in the war. So gramps and granny tied the knot at 22 because that's what everyone around them was telling them to do. "And they lived happily ever after."
What no one talks about is gramps being depressed and a drunk and cavorting with several mistresses around town. Or the milkman making extra long deliveries at the house when gramps was away at work. Of course, people know these things, but they don't bring them up during their golden anniversary party.
I know you were. My point was that people have limits for all types of things. And that's totally fine.
I guess I don't understand why you responded to me talking about something other than the point I made
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If someone doesn't want to date someone they don't find physically appealing, I don't consider that some type of moral failing or spiritual defect. It sounds like you might.
Well the post I was responding to was talking about people that were specifically hot. Physically appealing does it necessarily have to be hot.
I would see hot as nine and a half for 10 physically appealing you might fit five to seven.
Another way to look at is that people know what makes them happy and won't settle for less.[/quote]
If what someone does for a living has something to do with your happiness it's fleeting because that changes.
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Gone are the days when grandpa/grandma stuck it out with someone they never really wanted to be with in the first place. The girl gramps truly wanted chose another man and the man granny wanted died in the war. So gramps and granny tied the knot at 22 because that's what everyone around them was telling them to do. "And they lived happily ever after."
What no one talks about is gramps being depressed and a drunk and cavorting with several mistresses around town. Or the milkman making extra long deliveries at the house when gramps was away at work. Of course, people know these things, but they don't bring them up during their golden anniversary party.
Wow that's out of left field. I wasn't talking about getting together with someone you don't like that much. I was talking about choosing not to date someone over something as specifical as the job they do
When I met my partner he was a waiter that had no bearing on how attractive he was.
Most people are going to experience situations where they simply are not going to find someone attractive no matter how hard they squint. At best, they might find the person "tolerable." Personally, I would not want to be with someone who found me "tolerable" and overlooked my several physical flaws that would have been dealbreakers in the past because I have such a great personality.
There's no obligation to marry or even be in a relationship with someone so I've never really understood why people are so eager to advise people to relax their physical standards. As I said before, most people have already relaxed their standards quite a bit, and what you're essentially asking them to do is to go past their breaking point for the sake of having someone.
This is a good perspective. What are people to do if they cannot get someone who they find more than just tolerabke in physical attraction?
...expressing frustration at women obsessed with money, or are they really expressing envy of men who are more successful than they are?
I ask because a lot of complaints about "gold-digging" are tinged with a subtle suggestion that wealthy men are getting access to women they don't really deserve...
Those who complain about gold-diggers should stop using money as bait. If they have continual frustration in their lives re: opportunistic women (i.e. enough to regularly whine about), they’re (part of) the problem.
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Originally Posted by Rhenzanite
It's envy. If they could 'afford' those hot women they wouldn't be complaining about lavishing them with gifts.
Those who have wealth (and want to avoid gold-diggers) don’t lavish women they barely know (or just started dating) with gifts; it’s about getting to know someone and developing a friendship/relationship (or not). One’s thoughts and expectations relative to such can tell you a lot about them from the get-go (in either direction).
Why would anyone want someone who can be bought? Low character and there’s always going to be someone with more money. Maybe it’s a control thing.
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