Advice for this girl (dating, boyfriend, long distance, women)
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I met this girl through "Tinder", an online dating app. Figure out the rest, it's free.
We've texted for like two days on that app before asking for her number, it was safe to do that because we both know this couple really well. We just happen to "like" each other on that app, we would have met each other eventually at some event we usually go to in this town. It was just a matter of "when".
Anyways, last week, I asked her if she wants to go get coffee and she said, "Oh yeah!". Then the next day, she and her friend (Her boyfriend is my good friend) had a talk if they want to do a double date then proceed to text me if it sounds good, which of course I was fine with it. Last Friday night, we went to eat at a Mexican food restaurant and it turned out really well, it makes sense that she wants to do that to make it comfortable with another couple we know since we didn't know each other before. We then went to the haunted house afterwards, turns out great there also. She told me to text her again so we can do something again next week (This week).
This week, I asked her if she wants to get coffee again () so we can get to know each other, I haven't had one on one date with her yet. She was really busy this week, but instead, she invited me to go watch a play with her at this college along with the same couple again. I asked them if they want to go eat somewhere afterwards, but she had to go home afterwards (We don't know why, something happen, but they said it was for sure not about me). I ate with the other couple at some restaurant. I dropped her off at her house before going to a restaurant, we had a good 15 minute talk in the car and that was the only one on one conversation we've had. I mean, it was very good and I can't wait to do it again with her. She apologized that she had to go home and told me to text her to hang out again next week. She will be out of town for her job the next two weekends.
We text sometimes, she has a busy work schedule which I understand. I just recently graduated so I'm looking for a job right now. I couldn't believe that I'm doing this because I vow myself not to date any girls until I find a job first. Everybody else thought I was ridiculous for doing that because I never really give a girl a chance for awhile.
So, where should I take her next week, like maybe for lunch or maybe coffee? I really want to make this one on one again. I'm trying to make a move soon, like maybe kiss her, it's hard to do it because we both live with our parents for now (Don't judge us! ). I'm going to have to be alittle aggressive and need to be careful not to be put in the "friendzone".
There is nothing you can do or not do that will affect whether she puts you in the friendzone. That just depends on whether your genetic biochemistry is compatible with hers or not (google this, if you want).
Sounds to me like she likes you, and not in 'friend' way , and she wants to get to know you more in group settings before she meets with you one on one. She is looking for a guy who has the courage and integrity to respect her boundaries -- almost all women are.
NilaJones, good point. Looked up "biochemistry", interesting. I just want to be sure I don't worry about being in the 'friendzone'. I do want to take this slow with her and so does she (According to her friend).
I also need to be careful not to take this way too slow. I guess dates once every week or two, and texting every other day or so are ok.
You were vowing not to date till you had a job? Why are you restricting yourself.
I lived at home for a year after college to save for a house. This had no bearing on my love life.
I'd suggest chasing some other girls too, I don't see a lot of interest from her. Don't put all your eggs in one basket dude. Double dates when you're trying to get to know someone at first are a horrible idea. You don't get to understand what your chemistry is really like. You need to take her out. Alone. Out in public is fine if she isn't all that comfortable.
You were vowing not to date till you had a job? Why are you restricting yourself.
I'm worry what other girls think of that. I just feel like girls expect guys to get jobs, you know? I know I'm wrong.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caddy1316
I lived at home for a year after college to save for a house. This had no bearing on my love life.
That's true. That's what I'm doing right now, saving up. But good to know.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caddy1316
I'd suggest chasing some other girls too, I don't see a lot of interest from her. Don't put all your eggs in one basket dude. Double dates when you're trying to get to know someone at first are a horrible idea. You really don't get to understand what your chemistry is really like. You need to take her out. Alone. Out in public is fine if she isn't all that comfortable.
I haven't really found any other girls yet right now. The other couple say she likes me. I know double dates can be a horrible idea. That's why next week, I'm going to make this alone, I'm sure she will be fine with that.
I'm worry what other girls think of that. I just feel like girls expect guys to get jobs, you know? I know I'm wrong.
That's true. That's what I'm doing right now, saving up. But good to know.
I haven't really found any other girls yet right now. The other couple say she likes me. I know double dates can be a horrible idea. That's why next week, I'm going to make this alone, I'm sure she will be fine with that.
Alittle older than that.
Ok. How experienced are you with women? I'm guessing minimal? I'm not trying to be a dick but guaging by this post and the fact your coming to CD for dating advice and not one of 1000 better sites for it leads me to that conclusion.
Yeah, girls expect guys to have jobs. True. But if you're attractive enough, they'll rationalize you not having one away.
I don't know how strict your parents are, but I was 21 when I graduated and I was paying them a small amount of rent. If I wanted to have a girl over, I was having a girl over. Period.
If you're 21 you've got a lot of legit options for your (3rd?) date. Drinks is always so easy. Post up at your favorite dive bar, get you two some drinks and get into conversation. A concert is always good too.
But now that we established that you're 21, how are you not meeting women? Do you not have a decent social circle? Do you not go out on the weekends?
Ok. How experienced are you with women? I'm guessing minimal? I'm not trying to be a dick but guaging by this post and the fact your coming to CD for dating advice and not one of 1000 better sites for it leads me to that conclusion.
Honestly, I didn't come straight to C-D for relationship only. Just other topics. I'm just curious to see what y'all would say about this situation. I'd say it is pretty minimal, no offense taken, man.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caddy1316
Yeah, girls expect guys to have jobs. True. But if you're attractive enough, they'll rationalize you not having one away.
Believe me, I'm not ugly at all. I've been called "ruggedly handsome" several times lately. I workout 5 days a week so I think we can safely rule that one out. This girl is a freaking 9 so that's why I was coming here for that advice particularly. This girl is hard to read. I asked the other couple why this girl was nervous around me and they said it wasn't about me at all. It was in general about guys thinking of her about this one thing for the future (I can't say, I'm afraid she might be on here, haha). The other couple told me to promise not to tell her or anyone. That is no problem at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caddy1316
I don't know how strict your parents are, but I was 21 when I graduated and I was paying them a small amount of rent. If I wanted to have a girl over, I was having a girl over. Period.
My parents aren't strict at all. They're ok with me as long as I get a job soon, not just sit around and do nothing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caddy1316
If you're 21 you've got a lot of legit options for your (3rd?) date. Drinks is always so easy. Post up at your favorite dive bar, get you two some drinks and get into conversation. A concert is always good too.
She drinks every now and then, she goes to church and so do I. I don't think that's a good idea. I used to party hard in college and I had to change that. Yes, concert sounds great. Good one!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caddy1316
But now that we established that you're 21, how are you not meeting women? Do you not have a decent social circle? Do you not go out on the weekends?
Meeting women is never a problem with me, the problem is that I don't give women a chance to date. I tend to be a "stuck-up". I have dated many times before, but tend to go onto the next woman as usual. This girl right here is golden, and I don't want to mess this one up particular. She has the qualities that I look for: we both are fluent in sign language, church, workout, traveling, just to name a few. I know she sees that too.
I don't go out on the weekends very much like I used to, but I will eventually get back into pretty soon.
Honestly, I didn't come straight to C-D for relationship only. Just other topics. I'm just curious to see what y'all would say about this situation. I'd say it is pretty minimal, no offense taken, man.
Believe me, I'm not ugly at all. I've been called "ruggedly handsome" several times lately. I workout 5 days a week so I think we can safely rule that one out. This girl is a freaking 9 so that's why I was coming here for that advice particularly. This girl is hard to read. I asked the other couple why this girl was nervous around me and they said it wasn't about me at all. It was in general about guys thinking of her about this one thing for the future (I can't say, I'm afraid she might be on here, haha). The other couple told me to promise not to tell her or anyone. That is no problem at all.
My parents aren't strict at all. They're ok with me as long as I get a job soon, not just sit around and do nothing.
She drinks every now and then, she goes to church and so do I. I don't think that's a good idea. I used to party hard in college and I had to change that. Yes, concert sounds great. Good one!
Meeting women is never a problem with me, the problem is that I don't give women a chance to date. I tend to be a "stuck-up". I have dated many times before, but tend to go onto the next woman as usual. This girl right here is golden, and I don't want to mess this one up particular. She has the qualities that I look for: we both are fluent in sign language, church, workout, traveling, just to name a few. I know she sees that too.
I don't go out on the weekends very much like I used to, but I will eventually get back into pretty soon.
Ah alright I got you. You just really like this particular one.
You don't have to get hammered, just a drink or two, but if its not for you its not for you.
I didn't realize you guys were the religious type. I guess do what you're doing. Try to get her alone and I would turn down further double date invites. It's doing more harm than good and could likely land you in the friendzone. Best of luck man.
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) so we can get to know each other, I haven't had one on one date with her yet. She was really busy this week, but instead, she invited me to go watch a play with her at this college along with the same couple again. I asked them if they want to go eat somewhere afterwards, but she had to go home afterwards (We don't know why, something happen, but they said it was for sure not about me). I ate with the other couple at some restaurant. I dropped her off at her house before going to a restaurant, we had a good 15 minute talk in the car and that was the only one on one conversation we've had. I mean, it was very good and I can't wait to do it again with her. She apologized that she had to go home and told me to text her to hang out again next week. She will be out of town for her job the next two weekends.
