Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Never had a girl, virgin, all because of crippling social phobia as a kid and into my twenties. I literally could not say a word to anyone, or even go into a store, or post online. Now it's gone after some very hard work, but I still have a phobia of approaching pretty women. I don't know what's appropriate for what situation. It's like I was dropped into my thirties out of nowhere. Should I go to therapy who specializes in things like this? Should I go up to women and just start talking, I freeze up but maybe if I keep talking I might not freeze. I also get so nervous I usually say something totally wrong. Women are turned off by nervous men, I would guess that's why I've never had any woman hit on me. Gosh, I don't even know how to dress to attract women
I've had many people say that if I'm okay with being alone then I may never need a woman. But that's not the real me, the real me would not fear asking a female grocery clerk where the cereal aisle is. Is it time to date, or should I give up and be content with being alone.
It's it possible to just be friends with a woman, without all this relationship stuff?
Never had a girl, virgin, all because of crippling social phobia as a kid and into my twenties. I literally could not say a word to anyone, or even go into a store, or post online. Now it's gone after some very hard work, but I still have a phobia of approaching pretty women. I don't know what's appropriate for what situation. It's like I was dropped into my thirties out of nowhere. Should I go to therapy who specializes in things like this? Should I go up to women and just start talking, I freeze up but maybe if I keep talking I might not freeze. I also get so nervous I usually say something totally wrong. Women are turned off by nervous men, I would guess that's why I've never had any woman hit on me. Gosh, I don't even know how to dress to attract women
I've had many people say that if I'm okay with being alone then I may never need a woman. But that's not the real me, the real me would not fear asking a female grocery clerk where the cereal aisle is. Is it time to date, or should I give up and be content with being alone.
It's it possible to just be friends with a woman, without all this relationship stuff?
well, you sound incredibly sweet and genuine. Maybe seeking professional helps a little. Talking to a therapist can be a good experience.
good luck to you.
OP, just go join a bunch of meet up grounds and socialize with ppl that happen to be women. stop thinking about "pretty women" or finding a date or gf. just friends, acquaintances, and more importantly, opportunities to engage people in light conversation. learn to tell stories, make other ppl laugh, go read dale carnegies how to win friends and influence ppl. learn hot not to be boring. once you have the conversation skills to be an enjoyable person to be around, they will come to you. build it and they will come.
Never had a girl, virgin, all because of crippling social phobia as a kid and into my twenties. I literally could not say a word to anyone, or even go into a store, or post online. Now it's gone after some very hard work, but I still have a phobia of approaching pretty women. I don't know what's appropriate for what situation. It's like I was dropped into my thirties out of nowhere. Should I go to therapy who specializes in things like this? Should I go up to women and just start talking, I freeze up but maybe if I keep talking I might not freeze. I also get so nervous I usually say something totally wrong. Women are turned off by nervous men, I would guess that's why I've never had any woman hit on me. Gosh, I don't even know how to dress to attract women
I've had many people say that if I'm okay with being alone then I may never need a woman. But that's not the real me, the real me would not fear asking a female grocery clerk where the cereal aisle is. Is it time to date, or should I give up and be content with being alone.
It's it possible to just be friends with a woman, without all this relationship stuff?
I'm sorry Man.
As I posted before for others just start by saying, "Hi."
I know that sounds lame but it builds confidence in you.
What you are doing is a 'fly fishing' style. Keep flinging the 'fly' or 'hi' out there. Eventually you will get a bite.
You are standing in line at a grocery store...
"Hi. I like the bun in your hair it's cute."
"Thanks. I did it myself actually I took my ponytail and..."
i rarely complement women i'm dating and if i do, it's subtle. often compliment friends and others. just my style though, other thread topic.
but for a guy that has zero social and conversation skills, you have provided superb advice. frankly, i just don't know what to tell some of these guys anymore. and as you can see, many of the regular female posters, except maybe ruth4truth, srjth and a couple of others, don't chime in anymore as if they guys are lost causes. i generally agree but any guy who is looking for help, sure deserves a bit of encouragement for the women on here who think they have all the answers for about dating and relationships issues. guys too of course, but our advice is pretty much standard, man up and do something about it. and these guys have heard that all their lives from other guys and still no change.
if you have a problem talking to attractive women, approach women you find unattractive and talk to them to build confidence. Don't hit on them, but make friends instead.
Any relationship you have is approximately the same vibe as that rebound guy, except you're rebounding from nothing. You're likely to be desperate and clingy and needy.
Never had a girl, virgin, all because of crippling social phobia as a kid and into my twenties. I literally could not say a word to anyone, or even go into a store, or post online. Now it's gone after some very hard work, but I still have a phobia of approaching pretty women. I don't know what's appropriate for what situation. It's like I was dropped into my thirties out of nowhere. Should I go to therapy who specializes in things like this? Should I go up to women and just start talking, I freeze up but maybe if I keep talking I might not freeze. I also get so nervous I usually say something totally wrong. Women are turned off by nervous men, I would guess that's why I've never had any woman hit on me. Gosh, I don't even know how to dress to attract women
I've had many people say that if I'm okay with being alone then I may never need a woman. But that's not the real me, the real me would not fear asking a female grocery clerk where the cereal aisle is. Is it time to date, or should I give up and be content with being alone.
It's it possible to just be friends with a woman, without all this relationship stuff?
I don't know what your platonic social life is like, but I would work on that first. Most women are going to want to be entertained anyway, and if you have no life, it would be difficult.
The first thing to do is feel out your attractiveness. Have women ever hit on you, attractive or not?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
