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He then said that he apologizes for having read our cues wrong - whatever that means. He wanted to confirm that i"m dating more than just him. I answered that i want us to be exclusive if that's what the wants too. He didn't reply like i thought he would. He said he misread "us" so we should keep things as they are and that I can date whoever I want.
Quote:
"Come over to my place tonight and dress sexy."
Wow, that's really sad.
It sounds like he has a psychological disorder called the madonna/wh*re syndrome. He thinks that, even though he was dating other girls and he never asked you to be exclusive, if you were dating others that means you are a wh*re, and not marriagable.
He can get better with counseling, but it would take months or years.
You can use him for sex, like he is offering, but it will be terrible sex because of his issues. He will be projecting all sorts of psycho stuff onto you, and that will make him want to hurt you emotionally. It's not worth it.
I hope he can get the help he needs, but at this time he is not relationship material.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones
Wow, that's really sad.
It sounds like he has a psychological disorder called the madonna/wh*re syndrome. He thinks that, even though he was dating other girls and he never asked you to be exclusive, if you were dating others that means you are a wh*re, and not marriagable.
He can get better with counseling, but it would take months or years.
You can use him for sex, like he is offering, but it will be terrible sex because of his issues. He will be projecting all sorts of psycho stuff onto you, and that will make him want to hurt you emotionally. It's not worth it.
I hope he can get the help he needs, but at this time he is not relationship material.
It sounds like he has a psychological disorder called the madonna/wh*re syndrome. He thinks that, even though he was dating other girls and he never asked you to be exclusive, if you were dating others that means you are a wh*re, and not marriagable.
How do you know he was dating other girls?
When I date a girl, I am not having sex with someone else behind her back. And I would break up with a girl who has sex behind my back. That is just dishonest.
Do you think I should seek psychological treatment?
Also, I know I'm not a hoe. Like I said, I had a long dry spell and then I met three cool guys or so i thought at first. I had sex with guy 2 and douche 3 cause i guess i found them attractive andi was in the mood. Like i said i regretted guy 3 right away and guy 2 is really only good at one thing.
Guy 1 actually is "1." I guess i didn't want to rush the sex side with him. I kow it looks ****ty in his eyes. I want to make up for it
Yea, you are. (no insult/attack intended, just disagreement)
You were banging 2 other guys and trying to use "the power of the P" on a third at the same time.
TEXTBOOK DEFINATION in fact.
He's seen through, your busted, he MIGHT nail you, but your done.
ETA: the above supported by the posts following the one I quoted.
He's going for Mod cut. (unless she is REALLY good in which case he will keep her around for that!)
I just figured, since he didn't ask her to be exclusive, that meant either he was or he wanted to be.
Quote:
When I date a girl, I am not having sex with someone else behind her back. And I would break up with a girl who has sex behind my back. That is just dishonest.
Do you tell them you want to be exclusive? Or are they supposed to psychicly intuit it?
Quote:
Do you think I should seek psychological treatment?
Not enough data to tell, yet . Do you have a madonna/wh*ore syndrome? Do you think sex makes a woman dirty? If a girl has more partners that you, and no STDs, is she marriage material?
I just figured, since he didn't ask her to be exclusive, that meant either he was or he wanted to be.
Do you tell them you want to be exclusive? Or are they supposed to psychicly intuit it?
Not enough data to tell, yet . Do you have a madonna/wh*ore syndrome? Do you think sex makes a woman dirty? If a girl has more partners that you, and no STDs, is she marriage material?
Of course sex doesn't make a woman dirty, but that doesn't mean I will marry her. I am waiting till marriage, hence I prefer a virgin woman. But don't worry about me, I am already taken.
I don't tell them I want to be exclusive directly, because its kind of a wierd topic to bring up before we are together, but I don't hold grudges either. If I find out they are having sex with someone else, then I will just date someone else.
I never assume a guy isn't seeing other people, even if I am talking with him on a romantic level and have CHOSEN not to date other people and focus on him. I don't assume he's done the same. I know some people who did this and get their feelings hurt because they assumed that the other person was doing the same. You should never assume you are exclusive until it's verbally agreed by both parties. The OP wasn't wrong in dating other people, because she wasn't exclusive with guy#1. The only issue is that she was messy... She literally dated men who frequented the same spots and who obviously lived or partied in similar areas. That was probably the only really bad thing she did(if you could call it bad). She is entitled to sleep with whoever she chooses to, and to withhold it from whoever she chooses to. Even if it makes her seem like she is doing the stereotypical "sleep with the alpha and reserve it for the nice guy" act, she is entitled to do that if she wants to.
At this point, I think we all can tel that the ending for this is not going to be good. The OP will not get into an LTR with guy 1.
I don't think guy 1 has issues though. I mean tbh even though I don't assume that anyone I'm seeing isn't seeing anyone else, I also wouldn't be able to deal with it if, I'm out and about and see the guy I'm dating out with another girl who I know he is having sex with. I would definitely lose interest. Even if he was exercising his rights to date as many people as he wants, since I am relationship-minded I would find the fact that he's banging other girls(some with personalities or looks that are complete opposite of mine) a huge turn off.
I just figured, since he didn't ask her to be exclusive, that meant either he was or he wanted to be.
Do you tell them you want to be exclusive? Or are they supposed to psychicly intuit it?
Not enough data to tell, yet . Do you have a madonna/wh*ore syndrome? Do you think sex makes a woman dirty? If a girl has more partners that you, and no STDs, is she marriage material?
It is a total turnoff to most guys if they are trying to build chemistry with a girl only to find out they are banging someone else. Doesn't mean either one is right or wrong, but if she's wanting a ltr with guy#1 she [messed up].
Last edited by PJSaturn; 11-04-2013 at 07:35 AM..
Reason: Removed inappropriate language.
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. Do you have a madonna/wh*ore syndrome? Do you think sex makes a woman dirty? If a girl has more partners that you, and no STDs, is she marriage material?