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It is a total turnoff to most guys if they are trying to build chemistry with a girl only to find out they are banging someone else. Doesn't mean either one is right or wrong, but if she's wanting a ltr with guy#1 she [messed up].
Yes, that's true, but again, it needs to be discussed. Somehow. You do realize that there are guys who BANK on not discussing it as a way to get away with banging tons of girls at the same time and having no responsibility in it?
Also don't confuse having chemistry with building an emotional connection. Chemistry is not something you have to build, it's either there or isn't from the start, an emotional connection is something you have to build.
Yes, that's true, but again, it needs to be discussed. Somehow. You do realize that there are guys who BANK on not discussing it as a way to get away with banging tons of girls at the same time and having no responsibility in it?
I agree, but we don't have his perspective so we don't know. If he was genuine I'm sure he felt a little humiliation. I don't think having sex with her now is the right option though.
I agree, but we don't have his perspective so we don't know. If he was genuine I'm sure he felt a little humiliation. I don't think having sex with her now is the right option though.
Yeah, he did feel humiliated. I'm hoping she's wise and knows how to make it up to him, but my hopes aren't really that high. lol
When I said discuss it, I meant exclusivity. It's really unwise to assume it without discussion.
Here is the OP's problem. She has given this guy the impression that she is good for sex but not for a more serious relationship. Most guys will take sex but there is a huge difference between the girl they will sleep with and the girl they will marry.
Best thing the OP can do is to pull back. On no account should she go round to his place. She should text back that she feels he has misunderstood her intentions, that she would like to build a relationship with him but that, right now, it is probably best if they go their own ways.
High risk but the alternative is the equally high risk that he will use her for sex with nothing else down the line. Sometimes you just need to cut your losses and this approach at least has the advantage of putting the ball back in his court.
Most guys will take sex but there is a huge difference between the girl they will sleep with and the girl they will marry.
That's why men and women never sleep together before they get married! Weird how men are all sleeping with just one or two women and the rest of the women are asexual virgins.
Here is the OP's problem. She has given this guy the impression that she is good for sex but not for a more serious relationship. Most guys will take sex but there is a huge difference between the girl they will sleep with and the girl they will marry.
Best thing the OP can do is to pull back. On no account should she go round to his place. She should text back that she feels he has misunderstood her intentions, that she would like to build a relationship with him but that, right now, it is probably best if they go their own ways.
High risk but the alternative is the equally high risk that he will use her for sex with nothing else down the line. Sometimes you just need to cut your losses and this approach at least has the advantage of putting the ball back in his court.
I agree. He doesn't see her as relationship material anymore(if he ever did). Also agree that any man that can get sex from a reasonably decent looking woman will take it if they are horny enough. the op shouldn't misunderstand him wanting sex with her now as him wanting to be exclusive with her. He just wants to bang her at this point. The difference before this situation happened is that while he obviously wanted sex, he was willing to invest in getting to know her and willing to take it slow to see where things may go--with my assumption that he felt the same way about her that she feels for him.
In the beginning he may have seen her as potential relationship material so the "sex-talk" and trying to get her in bed were not as direct, now that he sees her as just sex he is being more forward. The funny thing is if he wouldn't have seen her out with guy 2, there is a chance that she may have had a chance at an ltr with guy 1. It sucks because her biggest problem was not so much that she slept with these other men instead of him, or dated multiple people(he was probably doing the same). Her issue was that she got caught. I guess the op can chalk this up as a lesson. If u know U want an ltr with someone be proactive and talk with them about the possibility of being exclusive.
Of course sex doesn't make a woman dirty, but that doesn't mean I will marry her. I am waiting till marriage, hence I prefer a virgin woman. But don't worry about me, I am already taken.
I don't tell them I want to be exclusive directly, because its kind of a wierd topic to bring up before we are together, but I don't hold grudges either. If I find out they are having sex with someone else, then I will just date someone else.
What do you mean before we are together? Why would you discuss it after you're already together? Ambiguity and ambivalence was guy 1's problem. Notice how she said she liked that guy 2 knew what he wanted?
I wish she would have been more patient, but she wasn't. HOpefully she'll let us know how it turned out, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that he will take her back IF she apologizes/explains herself and stops seeing the other dudes.
If this guy only wants the OP for sex at this point and wants to use her, then it would actually a good thing if she dumped the turd now and counted herself lucky that she won't be stuck with him long-term.
It is a total turnoff to most guys if they are trying to build chemistry with a girl only to find out they are banging someone else. Doesn't mean either one is right or wrong, but if she's wanting a ltr with guy#1 she [messed up].
What do you mean before we are together? Why would you discuss it after you're already together? Ambiguity and ambivalence was guy 1's problem. Notice how she said she liked that guy 2 knew what he wanted?
I wish she would have been more patient, but she wasn't. HOpefully she'll let us know how it turned out, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that he will take her back IF she apologizes/explains herself and stops seeing the other dudes.
Agree, but the problem with discussing it before you are together, is that you have to right to exclusivity. So it becomes like this "I have no right to demand exclusivity, but if you sleeps with someone else then I will stop dating you".
Anyway, this has never been a problem with me. The women I date are more worried about me not being exclusive.
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Weird how men are all sleeping with just one or two women and the rest of the women are asexual virgins.