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Are there coffee houses in your area where you could get together with other young people without drinking?
I earlier posted a video from a SoCal place where people swing dance, among other things, but they also just listen to music. There is no pressure to do anything and there is a very relaxed atmosphere.
I know I am desperate, but knowledge of desperation doesn't cure my craving for human contact. These days, I just wish I had someone to hug, hold hands, and look into their eyes. It's been months since I've last got a hug. Friends, work, hobbies, food, pornography cannot satisfy this empty hole in my heart.
Quote:
Originally Posted by John13
You too?
We should go out and have a beer. Most of my entire life (including my childhood) has been like that.
You two are making me sad. I just want to give you both a big hug. It's especially hard to listen to you both because neither of you are horrible people at all.
I can relate. Those of us who navigate this life solo can go for weeks, months, without anyone touching us. Well, I do shake hands a lot at meetings at work, but that's not quite the same!
A few months ago, I was a bit taken aback when during our coffee hour after church one of the other women was saying goodbye and she came up to me and said, "Let me give you a hug. Single people don't get regular hugs so I think you could use one." It really threw me, because it was true and because she had the sensitivity to even think of it. I recoiled a bit at first, because it seemed as if someone had pointed out something that was some sort of secret shame--when you are one of the people that nobody wants to touch, you build a wall around yourself, and it can feel weird when someone breaches it.
Anyway, it was nice to get a hug. I hope you get one soon, too.
This is a really great story. It js so true. It is always nice getting a hug.
Some people are also at different ends of the spectrum too. For some people the desire ton connect via touch is rooted in receiving. For other people it is in the giving.
I am at the giving end. Sometimes the urge lessens a bit. And then with certain people it comes on full force and I have an overwhelming need to build intimacy with that person in that way (and i do me the light physical contact that isn't about an end game of sex).
There are some good suggestions here for sure. And i definitely agree about talking up dancing!
I wasn't assuming everyone likes cats or children, I was simply making a suggestion. Point being, there are other ways to get affection, but you have to figure out what will work for you. I happen to like cats and children so that works for me.
I know I am desperate, but knowledge of desperation doesn't cure my craving for human contact. These days, I just wish I had someone to hug, hold hands, and look into their eyes. It's been months since I've last got a hug. Friends, work, hobbies, food, pornography cannot satisfy this empty hole in my heart.
I'm sorry to hear about your frustrations. It's not easy. Everyone is lonely sometimes. I heard a long time ago and I have always liked this advice. Whenever you are too much in your own head, go do something nice/ kind for someone else. I find this really works. It takes you out of your own problems and it makes you feel good to do for others. You can volunteer, help a neighbor, or anything that involves doing for others. When you are thinking about others, it is almost impossible to feel bad for yourself. Not saying that you are feeling bad for yourself. We all do this sometimes. It is healthy. But, helping others helps to make you feel better.
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