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Do you really want to play second fiddle to a career woman who's always reminding you how much more important her career is than you/yours? While it's not always the case I know, it's often been my experience. Moreover, many are caught up in the Jones syndrome with perfect house, school district, etc.
Find a regular girl, don't get caught up in consumerism, having the perfect house in the suburbs, and be happy. It's a lot simpler, less hectic, and more satisfying.
Good luck,
bolillo
I wouldn't want to play second fiddle, but the idea of getting lost in each others accomplishments and success is wildly attractive to me. To understand the importance of each others careers and to become a team that can live luxuriously without getting caught up with the Joneses.
Are there any career/ professional women on this board? What do you look for in guys?
Looking for self improvement tips here!!
I am a professional myself and want to be more competitive in the dating scene
The bottom line seems to be to have your poop in one bag.
That one monster list. I was on board with it until I read a bit more in detail. I mean, the boiled down version was pretty much it. But to ignore the little things on "the list"...
But I get it. I've dated the dude who lived with a bunch of men in his late 20's-early 30's and it's a no go. I don't want to have sex where there are 4 other men listening. And there are other things you listed that are just... repulsive if they're present with everything else. One or two things are okay. The whole list? Not okay.
My ex-spouse met all of your criteria, except for the hair thing. The only time that neck hair was trimmed was when he went to a gay barber. He had his regular buzz cut guy, but one day he wasn't there. At first he was weirded out by some dude tsking over him and buzzing his unibrow. But after two visits, he was hooked. That being said, if you're in a long term relationship, a lot of the grooming issues the female addresses. I'm going to be honest. There are a lot of females grossed out by what I'm about to say, but I know there are a ton more who are secretly thinking "Yeah. That's me." Women will squeeze your blackheads when they're too much, they will shave your unibrow, they will clip your nails and give you the manicure and they will buy you the shirts in the bright colors that you thought were "too gay" to wear. That's how you can often tell when a dude gets into a relationship. Suddenly his jeans are clean, he's wearing a bright purple shirt that brings out his beautiful green eyes and he smells good.
The finances... sometimes that man who you think has all the right moves in his money isn't what he seems. Those men may have severe issues with money that you can't know about until you're in a LTR or living together. I.E. What's his is his, and what's yours is his because he makes more than you do. And watch out if you have a higher degree or earn more because everything he held as "masculine" is out the door and you may have a huge baby on your hands. And if he's passive aggressive, double whammy. You won't even know what he's done financially until you're on the hook for it.
The "list" results from bad experiences. When a woman has a list like that, it's usually not some crazy cat lady who's still a virgin living with her elderly mother. It's a female who's been burned.
And to 2006, yes. Age changes "the list". But it's not really age, it's experience that does it.
Which is ironic because the list gets more complicated as the years go on, while the availability of men go down. Common sense tells a woman that after 28 or so, she needs to lighten up on "the list". But unfortunately, we females tend to just add more to it with each successive relationship because we don't want to be burned again in the same way.
As for me... there's no list. I'm on board with the poster who said "Ain't nobody got no time for that!".
I simply do not want to be bothered with another 30-40 something man looking at me like a meal ticket because he didn't pursue a meaningful life the last 15 years. I am at a point in my life where everything I've been working for the last 15 years is coming together and I do not want a dude to drag me down. Which may sound odd considering that I like the "blue collar" types. They have more fun with their boys drinking the same old beer and eating the same bad pizza in the same stinky clothes in the garage than the "white collar" has sniffing about how he flew to where ever last week but he didn't enjoy it because blah blah blahhhhh....
I'd take a guy who shows up in 30 minutes, brought a donut, and drives the car to the shop on the donut tire to tell them what kind of tire I need, over the guy who makes me wait 2 hours to have my car towed, pays someone else to replace it and relies on their opinion about what kind of tire I need.
Hands down.
To the OP, here's your clue... it's not about a friggen tire.
To the OP, here's your clue... it's not about a friggen tire.
I wouldn't even change your tire; I'd put a plug in that bad boy (provided it was safe to do so).
People are amazed when they find out that I can fix a flat in my garage; it's not rocket science. Must be another reason why my career woman, PhD having wife loves me.
I didn't finish my degree but I am not stupid by any stretch. I can certainly see the ladies POV in this thread, there's no reason to put up with any of the shenanigans that I'm reading about here.
Last edited by Cardiff Giant; 11-09-2013 at 09:59 AM..
What I do oppose is the conflation of superficial attributes such as an evenly-shaven face and a full complement of cookware, with individual responsibility, maturity and career success. I DO very much enjoy when a woman is proud of my workplace success, and I do crave a partnership where she as an individual would be equally successful. But what infuriates me is if she peremptorily dismisses me from consideration because I cut a slovenly figure or lack the accouterments supposedly expected of my station in life.
In what dating universe is a man "cutting a slovenly figure" not going to be judged by that? You don't have to be a super-professional woman to expect a partner who's not living like a hobo.
My house is a wanton mess, lacking basic cookware. I eat straight from the frying-pan, standing slumped over the stove. My fridge is empty and stinks from decaying food-packages, my basement has mold, and many rooms in my house are dark because I’ve not replaced burnt-out light bulbs in years. But it’s a sprawling estate in the countryside, completely paid off. Some nights I sleep in my office. ~50 nights per year I sleep in hotels. I own hundreds of books (maybe thousands), stacked randomly in piles. The grass hasn’t been properly mowed since 2011. Occasionally I’ll find large spiders in the bathtub.
Tell me your phone number, and I’ll never forget it. But it won’t be until the 2nd or 3rd date that I remember your name. Maybe by the second year of the relationship I’ll notice your eye-color.
I drive a $1500 car with a sporadically missing idle and leaky exhaust. There’s substantial visible rust. The air conditioning failed years ago. The driver’s seat is worn down to the steel frame, and the window crank doesn’t always work. Often I need to push-start it, and AAA-Premier is my savior. But… I could probably buy the local Mercedes dealership for cash, if the urge overcame me. Instead, I’d rather plow the money into stocks. But don’t inquire about investment tips from me. I’m “very good at keeping work life separate from personal life”.
Most days, I wear a suit to work. It doesn’t fit properly because I’m a fairly accomplished weight lifter, and suits are typically tailored for the corpulent but flabby. My socks don’t match, I don’t own a single belt, and occasionally my pants have holes. Frequently I’ll be the only person in a business meeting who’s not wearing a tie. My father passed away while I was still too young to shave, and I’ve never bothered to properly learn the technique. Some of my front teeth are missing. But some of the most senior people in the room call me “sir”. Pens hit notepads when I start speaking. E-mails fly around interpreting my “guidance” and “intent”.
Honestly, this is a turn off. I'm sorry. A guy who lives in an unkempt home, with a stinky fridge, who's missing front teeth and doesn't know how to dress up is a turn off.
There is no amount of money in this world that will make me stay with a guy like that. I don't care if he has billions and I know that there are many women who will say the same.
Even guys won't accept this from a woman. Who wants a dirty woman with an unclean home, lacking teeth!!!!!
These things should be basic for an adult.
You should be able to clean up your home and present a good, clean appearance by adulthood. And if you are that rich, hire someone to do it.
There is nothing wrong with being groomed. It's actually pleasant to meet a well groomed person. Can't tell you how many times I've been complimented by the way I dress and the way I smell.
I'd take a guy who shows up in 30 minutes, brought a donut, and drives the car to the shop on the donut tire to tell them what kind of tire I need, over the guy who makes me wait 2 hours to have my car towed, pays someone else to replace it and relies on their opinion about what kind of tire I need.
On the contrary, it's the white-collar fellow who can apply his engineering skills to the problem. I've met numerous professional roofers who can't properly change brake-pads. It is precisely the most fanatical fans of NASCAR who understand the least about NASCAR suspension tuning, carburetors, aerodynamic downforce, tire technology or roll-cage structural integrity. It's the Bud Lite crowd that understands the least about ales vs. lagers, the various seasonal beers, the wheat beers and the various flavorings.
Being a "career guy" or "career woman" is less about one's paycheck or office-prestige, than living a life of discernment and observation, vs. being a Prole drone. What I've maligned in this thread isn't preference for individual fortitude (that is supposedly absent in the effete white-collar professional classes), but rather, a Prole yearning for bling, for matching belt-buckles and tie-tacks.
Being a "career guy" or "career woman" is less about one's paycheck or office-prestige, than living a life of discernment and observation, vs. being a Prole drone. What I've maligned in this thread isn't preference for individual fortitude (that is supposedly absent in the effete white-collar professional classes), but rather, a Prole yearning for bling, for matching belt-buckles and tie-tacks.
I think your perceptions are a bit off. People seem to be just talking about being clean and having your shyte together to a reasonable degree. That's all. Honestly, you appear to be fronting.
I made a bunch of money in a messy profession. And I wore clothes suited to the work I was doing.
I was amazed at how differently people treated me, after my sis told me I needed to buy some better clothes.
A woman friend of mine, who was going through a similar wardrobe renovation at the same time, went around telling people that she had 'decided to become more superficial' .
Now I have two wardrobes: One for work, and one for not. The car is another story, though. Ohio would like mine.
I want chemistry and attraction.
Controlling, possessive or jealous need not apply.
An equal respect for each other.
He doesn´t need to share my interests. But i need him to encourage and support them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones
I was amazed at how differently people treated me, after my sis told me I needed to buy some better clothes.
My ex boyfriend (who is an attorney) hired a fashion stylist to get tips on how to dress to inspire "trust" and convey a more polished, professional image. The stylist advises the defendants on their aesthetic choices, aswell. Because, apparently, the influence of appearance in the courtroom is that great.
I always thought that was messed up.
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