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Old 11-08-2013, 12:59 PM
 
Location: Southern California
12,774 posts, read 14,987,827 times
Reputation: 15337

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I want to see what everyone thinks about this. I've been dating my SO for quite a while & his whole family knows it. Every Christmas, they always give a gift for him to use specifically. You'd think that a few times, they'd get us gifts that we as a couple can use together (restaurant or movie gift cards, etc.). One sibling just very recently started giving me a gift too.

Does anyone think this is a bit rude? My SO either never notices or it doesn't bother him enough to bring it up to his family/siblings. His family aren't the nicest, warmest people, so I don't really expect anything.
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Old 11-08-2013, 01:06 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,591 posts, read 47,680,585 times
Reputation: 48281
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forever Blue View Post
Every Christmas, they always give a gift for him to use specifically. You'd think that a few times, they'd get us gifts that we as a couple can use together (restaurant or movie gift cards, etc.).
I think parents are allowed to get their child a gift just for them.

I would never expect the family of a guy I am dating to do a couples gift.
If you were married, that would be different. But you are not... you are just the current gal he's dating. That said, it would be nice if they got you a small gift of your own (if they know you well enough to do so).

Do you buy them gifts?
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Old 11-08-2013, 01:49 PM
 
Location: Southern California
12,774 posts, read 14,987,827 times
Reputation: 15337
This thread's mainly about his 3 (adult) siblings who were teens when we started dating & have known about me for yrs. Actually, here's what's been happening the last several Christmases:

His divorced mom actually does get me something most Christmases.
2 of his siblings have never, ever gotten me squat.
1 other sibling just started giving me something last year...after we have been dating unteen years.

I do get his mom something about as long as she has given me things. I've given his sister little things a couple of times years ago for no special occasion.

I can't stand his divorced dad (neither can my own SO) & 1 of his siblings & I know the father especially would never get me anything in a million years.
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Old 11-08-2013, 01:51 PM
 
Location: NoVa
18,431 posts, read 34,364,652 times
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Do you all live together? I think I would need to know that before really answering that question.

I wouldn't expect my SOs parents to get me anything at this point, really. We have been together more than 2 years, and have been living together almost 2 years.

We will marry some day, but before then, I do not expect his family to buy me anything. They are always gracious hosts when we visit, and for me, that is more than enough.
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Old 11-08-2013, 02:03 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,996,977 times
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Wait, are you saying you don't give the sibs holiday gifts but you think they should give them to you? Or give him a 'couples' gift? Do you give gifts to the sibs SO's?

It' sounds like y'all are over 30. I dunno about you, but in my family, once we got to that age we became very slow to add people to our holiday gift lists . When I was in my teens and 20s I gave gifts to all my close friends and stuff... but now it's more limited. I think it's an age thing.
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Old 11-08-2013, 02:10 PM
 
Location: Europe
2,728 posts, read 2,700,283 times
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I got nice and warm handmade mittens sweet thought and took time to think of me
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Old 11-08-2013, 02:40 PM
 
11,864 posts, read 17,004,194 times
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It sounds like you're getting what you give - nothing.

Not sure why you think that should change?
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Old 11-08-2013, 03:00 PM
 
13,511 posts, read 19,284,780 times
Reputation: 16581
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forever Blue View Post
I want to see what everyone thinks about this. I've been dating my SO for quite a while & his whole family knows it. Every Christmas, they always give a gift for him to use specifically. You'd think that a few times, they'd get us gifts that we as a couple can use together (restaurant or movie gift cards, etc.). One sibling just very recently started giving me a gift too.

Does anyone think this is a bit rude? My SO either never notices or it doesn't bother him enough to bring it up to his family/siblings. His family aren't the nicest, warmest people, so I don't really expect anything.
I do...but it sounds like that's something that runs in the family.(I say that because SO "never notices it, or it doesn't bother him).... Better get used to it.
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Old 11-08-2013, 03:18 PM
 
19,969 posts, read 30,227,645 times
Reputation: 40041
maybe they've had issues in the past with re-gifting, so they get specific...

gifts are gifts....lifes too short- it isnt always all about you

let it go and dont make an issue of this
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Old 11-08-2013, 03:25 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,706,825 times
Reputation: 42769
Long-term boyfriends and girlfriends were always acknowledged in my family. My ex-boyfriend's mom always gave me Christmas gifts, but we had family get-togethers a lot, and I would bring food or flowers or something. If you are not being demonstrative they won't know that's what's normal to you.
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