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Did you see this question? I think it's important. Also, has he ever before thought that his judgement was better than yours, or his way of doing things?
He's only gotten mad at me when I didn't call him while I was out late. He just always worries about me. He is older than me, so I think he does believe he has better judgment than me.
Just based on this one sided post he obviously has trust issues and seems controlling.
There's 2 sides to every story. He could have had a reason not to trust you, etc. not likef your friend for various reasons that may seem sketchy, etc.
If this type of thing is a rare occurance (going out and not coming home) I don't see it as a big deal.
Also, as for people with the whole "need to be married and then you'll have a say" thats b.s. they live together. They've been together 6 years. I don't know about their relationship but I could never picture things like that "changing" when marriage happens. Other than possibly finances and responsibilities I don't really see anything should change much when marriage comes around.
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He has only met her once and they seemed to get along. She is Asian and very liberal. My boyfriend is a conservative liberal but finds overly liberal people annoying. She has also made some negative posts about men on Facebook lately, so he's convinced she's a bit of a man hater.
He has only met her once and they seemed to get along. She is Asian and very liberal. My boyfriend is a conservative liberal but finds overly liberal people annoying. She has also made some negative posts about men on Facebook lately, so he's convinced she's a bit of a man hater.
What does any of this have to do with the issue of your staying the night with her? And what's a "conservative liberal"?
Drunk chick staying out with the girls = red flag.
Exactly. Been through this and it did not turn out well and went exactly as I discovered.
It's pretty clear my ex was just using this as an excuse to hang with another guy. In the OP's mind she thinks it's harmless. It's really not. Once in a while is no big deal... but if this is a thing that happens often, big red flag.
Exactly. Been through this and it did not turn out well and went exactly as I discovered.
It's pretty clear my ex was just using this as an excuse to hang with another guy. In the OP's mind she thinks it's harmless. It's really not. Once in a while is no big deal... but if this is a thing that happens often, big red flag.
From everything the OP said, this sounds like a one-off event, not something that happens even semi-regularly (or even one time prior).
She was out with a friend, she got a bit inebriated then got tired, was 40 minutes from home and wanted to just stay at her friend's house instead of dealing with a long train or cab ride home. I genuinely do not see what the big deal is here, unless the untold part of the story is that she's doing it weekly. This doesn't show disrespect to her relationship, it shows common sense on her part. Her BF's reaction was completely out of line.
Considering 80% of men cheat and 60% of women do these day, it's understandable. I realize nobody on this forum ever cheats, but they are out there.
I once had a girlfriend whom I paid for everything for! I spent about $8,000 a month on her including all her living expenses and she was all about "women's equality." She used to hang out with an male co-worker who was married, for me strike one. That friendship abruptly ended and she claimed it was because, "I had a problem with it." Yeah right, I think something was going on. Then she went to her X-boyfriends house cause she, "never got to say bye to his kids." Strike two. I let her resume her equality ways and pay for her own damn bills after several months of the mysterious happenings. Much to her dismay. Do I know for absolute fact she was cheating? No I do not, but the simple fact she felt it was her right to put herself in such situation was enough for me to move on.
You went out to the bar to have drinks, then stayed out for the night. Most men would have issues with this, those that say they don't are lying and probably would be spying on you, or have something on the side themselves.
Considering 80% of men cheat and 60% of women do these day, it's understandable. I realize nobody on this forum ever cheats, but they are out there.
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You went out to the bar to have drinks, then stayed out for the night. Most men would have issues with this, those that say they don't are lying and probably would be spying on you, or have something on the side themselves.
Of course people cheat. But if someone's going to cheat, they'll likely do it when you're not expecting them to do it. People will find ways to cheat even if you keep them on virtual lockdown, if they want to.
Years ago, I had a boyfriend who cheated on me, and I stayed with him (because I was an idiot), and from then on I constantly was suspecting that he was cheating on me and analyzing his behavior. I never should've stayed in that relationship after the infidelity because it turned me into a jealous lunatic. Conversely, he was also always suspecting I was cheating on him (and I never did).
The default of any relationship should be trust -- if that trust is broken, the relationship either needs to end or counseling/healing needs to happen until the trust is fully restored.
If someone can't go out with their friends occasionally for drinks, then even more rarely than that make an adult decision to stay over because they've had too much/they're exhausted, trust is not in that relationship. It's a whole different ballgame if it's happening with any regularity, but this doesn't seem to be the case here.
This is what I get for not living with the man before I married him. Are things different when you're married? I'd be kind of pissed if he got drunk and refused to come home.
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