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I would rather a wait with a girl to have sex if we did on the first date it would not be me best performance . It is enough pressure to get a girl to like me and make sure the date goes ok and she has fun .
But the OP's premise is that some women have sex first, and date later. I also wonder how much more at risk of STD's they are, when they get the sex out of the way first, and get to know the guy later.
IME, when I have had ONS type of things, then date. No loonies or stalkers. Wait, does that mean I'm not good in bed then? LOL. I would think it's the same as anyone else. Ditto with STD's. I say that, because people lie. And they're more likely to lie if they're in it for the chase and the conquest.
Every time you have sex, you risk getting an STD, even if you think you know someone. Obviously, the more times you have sex, the more you increase the risk of getting an STD. But sadly, all the women I know who have herpes, waited to have sex (at least 3-6 months) and either were dumped promptly after they finally had sex or were in long-term relationships with the guy. So what does that tell us?
IME, when I have had ONS type of things, then date. No loonies or stalkers. Wait, does that mean I'm not good in bed then? LOL. I would think it's the same as anyone else. Ditto with STD's. I say that, because people lie. And they're more likely to lie if they're in it for the chase and the conquest.
Every time you have sex, you risk getting an STD, even if you think you know someone. Obviously, the more times you have sex, the more you increase the risk of getting an STD. But sadly, all the women I know who have herpes, waited to have sex (at least 3-6 months) and either were dumped promptly after they finally had sex or were in long-term relationships with the guy. So what does that tell us?
It tells me to protect myself at all times and watch the fluid exchanges in the heat of the moment.
The guy got herpes, questioned her if he got if from her, she says yes I gave it to you and he leaves.
Depends on when the herpes confession came out and how meaningful the relationship was.
I would rather a wait with a girl to have sex if we did on the first date it would not be me best performance . It is enough pressure to get a girl to like me and make sure the date goes ok and she has fun .
Sometimes the other end of the spectrum is not what you intended. You wait and wait and hold out and hold out for a grand orgasmic bedroom explosion that's nothing more than a seven eleven firecracker.
Whether you wait 6 months or have sex in the first 5 minutes, why would you not make sure the person had been tested for herpes, and ask them about partners in the relevant time period?
Most people with herpes have no idea that they have it -- so it's not like you can just ask them.
It tells me to protect myself at all times and watch the fluid exchanges in the heat of the moment.
The guy got herpes, questioned her if he got if from her, she says yes I gave it to you and he leaves.
Depends on when the herpes confession came out and how meaningful the relationship was.
Sadly, in all the instances of the women I know, the guys knew they had herpes, but failed to tell the woman. Some of the men dumped the women as soon as she decided to finally have sex (obviously, he was playing them until they'd give it up). The ones in LTR were too embarrassed to tell them. What great guys either way.
You do realize that herpes doesn't need "fluid exchange" to transfer from one person to another right? And condoms don't do anything, because herpes typically affects the external genital area (or mouth - cold sores), and not inside the woman nor on the man's penis. Not sure they make condoms that protects all the areas around the actual genitals, which means you're really not protecting yourself as much as you'd like to believe.
Whether you wait 6 months or have sex in the first 5 minutes, why would you not make sure the person had been tested for herpes, and ask them about partners in the relevant time period?
Most people with herpes have no idea that they have it -- so it's not like you can just ask them.
Of course you can ask. The people that have had outbreaks, know fully well that they have it. But tlet's be real, people lie anyways. Almost all the women I know got it because the man lied. They knew they had it, they had outbreaks, but failed to tell the woman.
In my case, I forgot. Yes, forgot. Hadn't had an outbreak for over 10 years and simply forgot. I haven't given it to anyone either. Yes, they got checked.
And yes, I know many people have it, and it's dormant, never had outbreaks, and even tests may come up negative. I started a big thread about all that. You can always ask and hope for the best. Because that's all you're really going to get.
Of course you can ask. The people that have had outbreaks, know fully well that they have it. But tlet's be real, people lie anyways. Almost all the women I know got it because the man lied. They knew they had it, they had outbreaks, but failed to tell the woman.
In my case, I forgot. Yes, forgot. Hadn't had an outbreak for over 10 years and simply forgot. I haven't given it to anyone either. Yes, they got checked.
And yes, I know many people have it, and it's dormant, never had outbreaks, and even tests may come up negative. I started a big thread about all that. You can always ask and hope for the best. Because that's all you're really going to get.
Many people have herpes and have never had an outbreak in their life. They are still contagious. And sure, people can forget stuff.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frihed89 And if they said, I have had a large number (>100) of partners, and yes I am herpes free....then....?
That's not surprising. It's not like gonorrhea -- just because you have sex with someone with herpes doesn't mean you are going to catch it.
Whether the person has had 0 or 100 partners, I'd still ask for a blood test for herpes. Many people catch it from sharing a fork or a water bottle when they are little kids. It's not only transmitted sexually.
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