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Personality, hands down... but only if you combine personality with compatibility. There are plenty of pleasant people I'm not compatible with, but for the sake of this poll I'm combining the two.
The flaw there is you wouldn't take the time to get to know their personality if you were turned off by their looks.
This is true... but it takes a lot to "turn me off" by looks. I mean, a person would have to delve into horrible hygiene or something I would think.
I think with me (and I know a lot of guys on this forum swear this never happens) but with me, I tend to befriend men first. I don't care what my friends look like at all. Sometimes, as I get to know him, a male friend stands out a little more and I start to fall for him. If I am lucky, he falls for me too and something more comes out of it. Every single long term relationship I ever had... except one... started out this way and for the most part, they were all good. Sure they ended, but they ended friendly and there was no big break up heartache or drama.
I think it's another facet to online dating not working for me. It's like you go from zero to dating and I don't get that "get to know him" stage. It felt so unnatural to me. All you have are pictures (which don't matter much to me other than to "prove" they aren't hiding from wives, girlfriends, or the law) and what they choose to write--which sometimes is very little information or sometimes misleading or outdated. I wanted to befriend first, but that wasn't the goal of the men.
Then again, I know I am an odd duck So all that stuff I just said above... I am sure it's not typical of everyone (or even most). But it is true of me and, as odd as I am, I don't think I am the only person like this.
Based on reading & looking at photos online, there are plenty of faces I find attractive,
and plenty of profiles that read well (indicative of personality),
but the challenge is that it's so rare to find a profile with *both* being appealing to me.
Realize we're expected to pick one or the other,
but I cannot be with someone that I find off-putting, be it visually or emotionally.
Both factors need to be present for me to potentially be interested.
I wouldn't want (nor would I expect) someone to be with me
if he found either my looks or my mind unappealing to him.
My guess (I don't know the statistics) is that I find an equal % of profiles to have *either*
an attractive (to my eyes) face or an attractive personality (to my mind)-
can't say that one or the other is more common/likely.
And, to be fair, this is mostly based on prospects at online dating site, as I don't meet many people IRL.
And what few people I see in passing, out in public-whether or not I find them attractive visually,
I don't usually meet & get to know them, so I cannot guess whether I'd find their personalities attractive or not.
Personality, hands down... but only if you combine personality with compatibility. There are plenty of pleasant people I'm not compatible with, but for the sake of this poll I'm combining the two.
That is the key for me. If they are compatible that typically means you like their personality (Unless that’s not your thing). Almost all of my friends have great personalities, to me at least. Finding someone who is compatible, is the hard part, it takes time.
Then there is a matter of time. How long will they remain compatible with you? A month, a year, a lifetime?
In women, definitely personality, I think most guys on this forum would agree with me. Most women are attractive physically in some way, enough to enertain the thought of getting to know them better, but a smaller percentage have a decently compatible personality.
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So all that stuff I just said above... I am sure it's not typical of everyone (or even most). But it is true of me and, as odd as I am, I don't think I am the only person like this.
