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I know that this should be in the psychological forum, but it needs to be in the relationships to.
Come on people! Life is hard! It is always changing and throwing us challenges. Does anyone know anyone who just has the whole world?
As I read these threads, the most common thing I feel as I read is, why are some of these people even in relationships or wanting to be in them. Work on yourself first. Get yourself right. Accept your not so great qualities as well as your great ones. We are people and not one of us is perfect!
Give yourselves a hug. You are only going to perpetuate problems further for yourself and someone else with out some self esteem.
Bravo homie. I can certainly feel what you are saying. We (individually, personally) are the only people that we have the power to change. Thank you for the reminder to stay on track.
It is not as easy when The desire to feel like I am not a loser drives me. I don't know if that's the healthiest thing—to be motivated by a fear of hating yourself, but it helps.When I'm feeling in a darker place, my perception is that everything sucks and even though I've done this, it seems I should have done more.
If I am happy now, I won’t be able to change the results in my life that I decided to change or improve. If I am happy, then I lose my drive to achieve my goal. It just feels more comfortable to strive for one day reaching happiness than to actually be there.
It is not as easy when The desire to feel like I am not a loser drives me. I don't know if that's the healthiest thing—to be motivated by a fear of hating yourself, but it helps.When I'm feeling in a darker place, my perception is that everything sucks and even though I've done this, it seems I should have done more.
If I am happy now, I won’t be able to change the results in my life that I decided to change or improve. If I am happy, then I lose my drive to achieve my goal. It just feels more comfortable to strive for one day reaching happiness than to actually be there.
I know that feel. Ever try music? Hobbies? Creating simple and beautiful things by your own hand can give you a self esteem boost. Do you like wood working or painting? Those are great outlets that you can pour all that angst and despair into and achieve a beautiful final result. It's like alchemy...you transform the pain into beauty through the medium of your will and physical effort. Do it.
It is not as easy when The desire to feel like I am not a loser drives me. I don't know if that's the healthiest thing—to be motivated by a fear of hating yourself, but it helps.When I'm feeling in a darker place, my perception is that everything sucks and even though I've done this, it seems I should have done more.
If I am happy now, I won’t be able to change the results in my life that I decided to change or improve. If I am happy, then I lose my drive to achieve my goal. It just feels more comfortable to strive for one day reaching happiness than to actually be there.
I hear you. I feel your pain.
I am not a life lover. If I knew I was going to die in five minutes, I would be at perfect peace with it. Life sucks...I hate that due to better diet and medicines of the time, I'm only at the half way point!! What is ahead of me that could be greater than what I have already experienced? I can't even imagine, but I hope it gets here soon. The more terrifying the better!!
Shawshank redemption quote "get busy living, or get busy dying"
I don't feel suicide is a choice. I am loved by some very special people and it would be pretty damn selfish to cause that kind of pain to them.
That being said, we are here. Accept the decision. Accept that the cards you've been dealt is the hand that helped create who you are. So many factors that one can never control form us to who we are. There is always, ALWAYS!!, someone who has a crappier hand. Start accepting you and life looses some much superficial crap. Accept you and the partner you are longing for doesn't have to dig so much to find it.
Not trying to attack anyone, but whining about some of this stuff is just poisonous to the people who surround you.
For the most part I am a positive person with a decent self esteem. I tend to be too much of a people pleaser though.
I don't know if it can help some that struggle with feeling down, but I figure it can't hurt to share this... When I start to feel myself slipping into feeling down I ask myself why I am down. Then I counter everything I think is bad with why I should be greatful. If I lament that money is tight, I remind myself that there are people in this country who can't even afford food and in reality, I really don't want for anything... if I lament that I don't look good enough, I remember a girl I went to school with who was a burn victim as a child... if I worry I haven't achieved enough, I remind myself that I have a college degree and a good job... not a meth head drop out. If I worry that I don't have a solid boyfriend yet, I remind myself that maybe it's the best for me... maybe my freedom is better.
Then I start to think of things were I excel. I remind myself of the time I saved a child's life (I was a lifeguard for 3 years). I imagine that he's grown up and is earning a degree in medicine and someday might improve the lives of thousands... or I remind myself that I did once manage to have a short story I wrote published and had people tell me how much they enjoyed it... I wonder if it may have inspired someone else. Basically, I remember all the small accomplishments I've achieved and imagine how, even though they were small, it could have sparked something that might be much bigger and very important.
I guess it's kind of the George Bailey effect maybe. Great movie by the way, one of my favorites.
For the most part I am a positive person with a decent self esteem. I tend to be too much of a people pleaser though.
I don't know if it can help some that struggle with feeling down, but I figure it can't hurt to share this... When I start to feel myself slipping into feeling down I ask myself why I am down. Then I counter everything I think is bad with why I should be greatful. If I lament that money is tight, I remind myself that there are people in this country who can't even afford food and in reality, I really don't want for anything... if I lament that I don't look good enough, I remember a girl I went to school with who was a burn victim as a child... if I worry I haven't achieved enough, I remind myself that I have a college degree and a good job... not a meth head drop out. If I worry that I don't have a solid boyfriend yet, I remind myself that maybe it's the best for me... maybe my freedom is better.
Then I start to think of things were I excel. I remind myself of the time I saved a child's life (I was a lifeguard for 3 years). I imagine that he's grown up and is earning a degree in medicine and someday might improve the lives of thousands... or I remind myself that I did once manage to have a short story I wrote published and had people tell me how much they enjoyed it... I wonder if it may have inspired someone else. Basically, I remember all the small accomplishments I've achieved and imagine how, even though they were small, it could have sparked something that might be much bigger and very important.
I guess it's kind of the George Bailey effect maybe. Great movie by the way, one of my favorites.
I know that feel. Ever try music? Hobbies? Creating simple and beautiful things by your own hand can give you a self esteem boost. Do you like wood working or painting? Those are great outlets that you can pour all that angst and despair into and achieve a beautiful final result. It's like alchemy...you transform the pain into beauty through the medium of your will and physical effort. Do it.
I do write a lot but cut back seeing that i am going back to college . I have been using my pain to focus on my homework. I does feel good when i get A/B+ in my classes and I feel like i headed in the right direction . I do not get how people just show up to a dead end job and happy as can be with no goals or dreams in life.
All i know is i do not want to be 40 all by myself with my 13 cats saying well I should of put more energy into college and i would have a family of my own and not hoping to die.
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