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I would just leave it. Sounds like you broke up fairly amicably.
The past is the past. If you go back to her telling her you were gay, not only might it upset her out of the blue after a few years, the gay thing could freak her out.
I would just let it be. If she thought that much about you, she could probably inquire with mutual friends. If you came fully out of the closet and got married, chances are the word has probably gotten around anyway. Those are big life events. This seems like the sort of scenario where I suspect the real underlying motivator in why you feel compelled to do it it would be more to assuage your guilt rather than offer her comfort, and I think it would be kinder to just leave it where it is.
Leave her alone. Maybe write a letter to her and then burn it so you can get it out. It will just bring up old hurts for her. It has been what 4-5 years? Way too long to go back into the past. Unless she contacts you I would just let it go.
Unless by chance you are hoping you can rekindle something there. I think that with the ability to look up old flames on FB and others it has to be a pretty common thing
I voted to let it go as you have a new life now. Couples break up all the time.
However if your conscience is bothering you that much I don't see harm in sending her an email to explain.
Lying really bothers me and I have a feeling this is why you are still feeling guilty after all this time. Sounds to me like you all cared about each other.
Well, it never went intimate, if that makes a difference.
Seems like this is a very evenly split topic, so I would guess erring on the side of caution and maintaining the status quo would be for the best. We do both live in Chicagoland, but its a huge city and chances are our social circles wouldn't ever intertwine. We do have a couple mutual friends, so there is a possibility she is already aware of my marriage, but I wouldn't be able to say for certain.
Unless your mutual friends have told you that the woman is pining away because she cannot come to terms with the break-up, I have to say it's best to leave well-enough alone. If you should happen to meet, wait until you can determine if she's interested in an explanation. If she has a significant someone in her life, someone who doesn't even know about your past history together, it could cause a problem if her someone happens to wonder about your motives.
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