How to find out if a girl is cuddly before we get more serious? (dates, boyfriends)
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I could just tell by the second and no more than a third date. The word you are looking for is 'independent.'
We were in the Florida Keys and after dinner one night we drove to one of the Keys which had the least amount of ambient light and you could see a billion stars in a way you wouldn't anywhere else. We sat on the hood leaning back on the windshield just looking at all of them and cuddling. Don't forget to bring a small blanket. If you are closer to farm country the same would apply - it also ended up giving me the best idea for a Christmas present for him later on which was a telescope.
At this time of year there are usually places which have light displays you can walk through. Here, the zoo decorates the entire lights and also puts up a skating rink.
Check one of your local 'what's happening, entertainment' newspapers to find out about this stuff.
Sometimes it takes a while to warm up to someone, especially if she doesn't want to come off as desperate or promiscuous. Unfortunately, many men will completely write off a woman if she is too touchy feely too early.
I agreed with the earlier post about it happening organically though. Try to hold her hand or put your arm around here and see how she reacts. Does she squeeze your hand? lean into you?
Get a both in a restaurant and let her sit. Then sit next to her. She will either say aren't you going to sit across from me? Or lean against you as you talk. You can then put your arm around her.
On the second date with Duchamp Girl, in a theatre playing iron man 3, she slowly put her head on my shoulder and I put "my hand" on her thigh. It has to naturally happen man.
I'm a total mush, and am looking for someone to lean on. And I'm always going to want copious amounts of cuddling.
You sound very needy. Did you know this may have something to do with either not being breastfed as an infant, or weaned too early?
I went out on a date with a guy I met on the internet. He was super cute. Super tall. Wasn't too bright, though. He asked what I did for a living, I told him I was auditing the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee's finances on a status level looking to apply it to a report I was filing on behalf of the LRAA.
He got kind of slack jawed, with a glazed-over look, and responded by asking me (for the second time in 5 minutes) if I liked cuddling.
Let it happen naturally. Anything shy of this is a total turn-off.
You sound very needy. Did you know this may have something to do with either not being breastfed as an infant, or weaned too early?
I went out on a date with a guy I met on the internet. He was super cute. Super tall. Wasn't too bright, though. He asked what I did for a living, I told him I was auditing the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee's finances on a status level looking to apply it to a report I was filing on behalf of the LRAA.
He got kind of slack jawed, with a glazed-over look, and responded by asking me (for the second time in 5 minutes) if I liked cuddling.
Let it happen naturally. Anything shy of this is a total turn-off.
I don't consider myself an intellectual, yet I don't think I'm entirely stupid either. Like your date, I'd be slack-jawed as well with an answer such as you gave about your job. He was probably expecting something more like, "I'm an auditor." He was on a date, not a job interview.
In regard to the OP, I agree with the majority that cuddling should happen naturally. Look at the manner in which she "carries herself" around you (and others). It would seem that she may be a cuddler if she is relaxed. A person who is uptight won't seem like much of a cuddler and will only look like they have a stick up their backside.
Went out with a girl a couple weeks ago from a dating site, one reason I haven't pushed myself to follow through is while we meshed well on a certain comic/wit level, and she seems nice, is she seems to confident/self-supported (emotionally speaking, what's the word?)
Whereas I'm a total mush, and am looking for someone to lean on. And I'm always going to want copious amounts of cuddling.
How could I figure out if girl has that mushy side of her before we go to forward? If I invite her over to watch a movie to get her on my cuddle-couch, that sounds too much like I'm looking for sex, and SHE might want sex.
Are there public places to cuddle? I feel like I've heard of movie theatres in New York City that have couches in them?
I would use the highway lookouts here in Jersey, but it's hard to set up, why would you actually stop there?
Next time, stand or sit next to her close enough so that your shoulders are touching. Be very deliberate about it. Stay that way for awhile. If she looks at you funny, just smile. Then put your arm around her and see how she reacts.
You sound very needy. Did you know this may have something to do with either not being breastfed as an infant, or weaned too early?
I went out on a date with a guy I met on the internet. He was super cute. Super tall. Wasn't too bright, though. He asked what I did for a living, I told him I was auditing the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee's finances on a status level looking to apply it to a report I was filing on behalf of the LRAA.
He got kind of slack jawed, with a glazed-over look, and responded by asking me (for the second time in 5 minutes) if I liked cuddling.
Let it happen naturally. Anything shy of this is a total turn-off.
We're all needy
Some of us need more space than average.
If that's what the OP wants, let him. Those are his needs, we are all different. There are plenty of women who are very affectionate
Since I am an ice queen I can understand the OP not wanting to date people like me. I have been in those relationships and they are very difficult because the other person feels rejected. I'm so bad I remember being 4 years old and feeling uncomfortable when my parents hugged me. I just felt trapped and I still feel that way when people hugged me or hold my hand for more than a few seconds.I know wasn't autism because I never displayed any other symptoms.
I am glad to see this thread, because I have the same problem! I am an extremely cuddly person and I am often wondering if my date is, too.
For me, asking directly is the best route. I feel awkward cuddling with someone I don't know well, so the movietheater and starwatching methods might give a date the wrong idea about me. They might mistake my minor discomfort for being about cuddling in general, when really it is only about cuddling with a relative stranger. Better just to ask me how much I will like to cuddle, if we become actual sweeties.
But not everyone knows themself well enough to answer, and guys, especially, might tend to say what they think the asker wants to hear.
I pay a lot of attention to how physical, how kinesthetically oriented the person is. Do they have physical hobbies, like sports or yoga, beyond just keeping in shape? As metamorphosis said, do they carry themselves in a relaxed way? Do they get all cosy (alone) when they curl up in a seat to watch a movie? Or do they sit stiffly? Do they use gestures and physical metaphors when they talk?
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