Tell Her the Truth Before or After We Meet in Person (long distance, man)

[Marylandkitten]

The difference in age isn't that big of a deal.

The fact that you lie, is.

Any woman that wouldn't give you a chance because you're higher than her "shopping market margin of acceptance" is superficial.

Any woman that doesn't dump you for lying, is an idiot.

Any man that thinks he has to justify lying to generate a more genuine response when targeting a younger playing field of the opposite gender, is not going to get very far, for very long.

[Mikala43]

Originally Posted by Marylandkitten

The difference in age isn't that big of a deal.

The fact that you lie, is.

Any woman that wouldn't give you a chance because you're higher than her "shopping market margin of acceptance" is superficial.

Any woman that doesn't dump you for lying, is an idiot.

Any man that thinks he has to justify lying to generate a more genuine response when targeting a younger playing field of the opposite gender, is not going to get very far, for very long.

If the OP genuinely felt the age wasn't a big deal he wouldn't have lied about it.

And it's the woman's (in this case) prerogative what age she wants to date, so it's for her to determine if it is a big deal.

[ChessieMom]

Originally Posted by Breaking_Good

I know I am going to catch some heat for this. But here it goes.

-I recently met a 26 year old woman online from a different state. Her profile describes herself as looking for a mature, stable and sincere gentleman, etc. My profile stated my age as 40 years old when in fact I am 45. Her "desired" age range on her online profile said she is looking for a guy from 35 to 40 years old.

-Long story short, we hit if off from our initial e-mails and subsequent phone conversations. We seem to be looking for the same thing and share a lot in common. So much so that we have agreed to meet in her city (a 4 hour flight from where I live). I already purchased the ticket (no refunds).

-I have not fessed up to her about my actual age (yet). Note: All the picutres on my profile are current and from 2013. So what she sees on my profile is the real me. Not to brag but I am often told I look 35 or so. I was thinking of waiting to tell her my real age until after we meet in person and have a chance to test the in person chemistry. The thinking here is IF we hit it off and I can romance her a little in person she will be less likely to say hit the road jack.

-Also, please be aware she comes from a different culture (Latin America) where age differences are not as unsual as they are in the USA. She also likes the fact that I have traveled to her native country and can speak her native language (Spanish). I do really like her to the extent you can get to know someone online and via phone calls.

The plane ticket is purchased and I will be in her city in a few weeks. So I am trying to decide if I tell her now via phone BEFORE I meet her in person or AFTER we meet in person..???

I dunno. You are old enough to be her father. I suspect that will be a turn-off. Not sure what to tell you. Why the hell are you looking so far away, anyway? Pretty weird.

[Djuna]

People are so delusional. "I'm 45 but I look 12"

Just tell her the truth, that you blatantly lied about your age to snag yourself a young hottie. I'm sure she'll forgive you

[brushrunner]

Ok years before everyone had internet met a woman through Personals we only communicated through few phone calls. No I didn't tell her the truth.

First real obvious I was shorter. Next I didn't lie about my Job position but wasn't making pay as suspected but she looked over this.

We hooked up to the point we was going to get married at last minute I told her I was already married Yes upset her, she didn't want anything to do with me. I went back to my wife.

Months later this woman called me telling me the obvious how much I had hurt her and asked if I could come visit her on occasions Yes I explained how what I had done was horrible cared for her and because of this it was best that we make a clean break.

What I'm saying is there is others out there tell far worse lies and women still will look over them.

brushrunner

[JoeCollege]

How to let her down gently and am I shallow?

[JoeCollege]

You said here you were 46. So you are a pathological liar. What are you grandpa, 65?

16 Year Age Difference and Atheist vs. Believer

[usamathman]

If he's got money or great looks....his age wont even matter.

[Deluy]

I'd definitely go ahead and meet up with her before bringing up the subject. If things don't work out when you meet up then no harm done and at least you got to go on a little adventure. If you hit it off then you'll obviously need to tell her at some point and hope for the best.

[Chowhound]

As others have said, I think the bigger foul is the lying part, 5 yrs isn't that big of a deal... but who knows, maybe she'll shytcan you for that........ tell her and find out ahead of time....