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I am 22 and my girlfriend is 23 now ex girlfriend. we have been together for a year and a half and we got along really well. we hung out every second we could when I wasn't at work, everything seemed great. she was babied all her life by her parents and has always been in a relationship and has never had to work. Then one day about 3 months ago we woke up and she said she wanted to break up and is moving to LA for 3 months to find herself and feel independent.... she left 5 days ago. she wanted to date till the day she left and when she left it was devastating we were obviously both super hurt to part from each other. which i don't understand because we could have worked it out.. its only 3 months.. but she didn't want too so i let it be. and the last 5 days i have been hurt so obviously i tried talking to her about staying together and working it out. but she said she has to be able to make herself happy and not rely on anyone else to make her happy. and stopped calling me babe and saying i love you the second day she left, because she says it makes her feel like she is in a relationship and she doesnt want that. So this morning i texted her saying "Sorry i took this so hard, i wont talk to you now." and she replied saying "Saying that makes it really hard:,( but ok. We can try that for a while. im sure we will talk sometimes right just not normal?" and i replied "No i am hurt" then she said "Okay.... I hope work goes really well and maybe this will give me a real feel for what it feels like to actually be without someone to love.. ill talk to you soon." idk what to do and if that was the right thing to do. I want her back for sure and this is super hard to just not talk to her. so i could use some advise to get her back. im going down to LA for a week in a month to see her and she says when she comes back she wants to go on a few dates with me and see where it goes from there. so idk to hold on or what to think.
It sounds like she told you what is going on with her and she needs time and space to become independent and as she stated "find herself and learn how to make herself happy". Honestly until she can do that she will not really be able to make anyone else happy.
Let things play out naturally and see what happens. Let her contact you and respond when you have a few minutes free.
Don't stop what you are doing just to respond though, if you are at work wait until you are on break to respond but tell her you were working on something and could not stop to respond immediately.
One never knows how things are going to work out in the future. You may actually find out in a month when you see her that you really don't want to continue the relationship when/if she decides to move back.
I admire someone able to look at their life from a different perspective and then make changes to their life. She is doing something for herself. Realize that and back away. When she comes back, she may or may not come back to you. That's a part of life and people changing.
The great thing about this is that she'll probably come back a better person. People need to "find themselves" and take time to be alone and figure out what they want. If you interrupt that process for her, she definitely won't come back to you. And no one can guarantee whether or not you'll get her back. That's her decision, and it doesn't belong to anyone else.
Maybe you should take this opportunity to do something similar. Be your own person and realize that some people will drift away. One moment, they're the closest person in the world, and they know all of your secrets and pleasures. The next, they're strangers or they're going in a different direction. The only constant you can rely on is yourself. The more you trust yourself, the less disappointment and angst you'll feel when someone decides to go their own path, even if temporary.
Thanks guys, it's extremely hard to just stop talking and acting like we are together because we were so good together and I am just wanting it to come back even if its a little affection.
What do you think about the messages. should we talk? I leave to go there in feb for a week. she said that we can be lovey when i am with her and when she comes home so i am taking that as a good sign, just weird to want that but not over text and phone i think. i have problems staying strong i get high anxiety. so its hard i just have been trying to stay busy.
Dude you're joking right. She has you by the nuts and she knows it. She is gonna play you until she finds a guy she actually wants to be with. If she was in love with you or genuinely wanted you, she would do anything to be with you. She would be chasing YOU.
You've got a few options.
1. become aloof. Act like you don't care. Stop calling. Don't visit. Act like nothing happened when she gets back and turn her down when she comes back and wants you to take her out. Act like you're the prize. This will turn her world upside and she'll likely chase you. But I think you're so horribly supplicating. So horribly weak with this girl, it will be short lived. I suggest.....
Option 2. Cut her out of your life and find a way to not be such a love struck puppy dog with the next one and maybe she won't walk all over you.
its a 14 hour drive and she models, she has friends down there from working with them a few times and visiting there.
How are you, and these fellow posters, not seeing what she is doing for what it is. 50 to 1 there is a guy, or guys, she wants to or is sleeping with.
Find herself. Hahahahahaha
This womanspeak was so easy to decode I can't believe you can't see it brotha
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