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I have found that very few people past a certain age (early/mid 30s?) are that socially awkward. They might be boring. But good looking boring people get dates all the time.
I would say, at that point, the men most likely to be single are:
1) Unattractive men
2) Men who don't try at all
3) Men who have no money/career/education
All I know is when i was younger i worked retail 7 days a week 12 hours a day for about 4 months until i could not take it anymore . I am not sorry i like working but if you going to call me selfless because i want a day off every once and a while it is time to get a new job.
flash forward now i am back at working a dead end retail job a place i told myself i never want to be back to. At 30 it like what the hell i am I doing with my life?
My only saving grace is I going back to college to get a real job.
You are basically 100% right. Unless you happen to be secretly rich or strikingly handsome you have no chance. There is also the off chance that you come across someone desperate that will settle for anything?
This has always cracked me up. If you are secretly rich, how is anyone going to know about it? I don't know about you guys, but I don't go around telling people what my net worth is, not even girlfriends. Last thing you want is people hanging around you because of your bank account, or even because you have a cool sounding job.
Now strikingly handsome, different story. First impressions are largely based on physical appearance and body language.
"...So on our message boards and in my many inboxes I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won't come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world. I can explain what is wrong with this mindset, but it would probably be better if I let Alec Baldwin explain it:
In this case, Baldwin is playing the part of the attractive women in your life. They won't put it as bluntly as he does -- society has trained us not to be this honest with people -- but the equation is the same. "Nice guy? Who gives a shi*? If you want to work here, close."
So, what do you bring to the table? Because the Zooey Deschanel lookalike in the bookstore that you've been daydreaming about moisturizes her face for an hour every night and feels guilty when she eats anything other than salad for lunch. She's going to be a surgeon in 10 years. What do you do?
"What, so you're saying that I can't get girls like that unless I have a nice job and make lots of money?"
No, your brain jumps to that conclusion so you have an excuse to write off everyone who rejects you by thinking that they're just being shallow and selfish. I'm asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don't say that you're a nice guy -- that's the bare minimum. Pretty girls have guys being nice to them 36 times a day. The patient is bleeding in the street. Do you know how to operate or not?"
Don't work on your social skills-- find other awkward, poor people and bond with them... you will have more in common and you will also have more fun together.
Just focus on doing the best you can in what you are doing, never fall into the bitterness trap, and stop assuming that everyone wants the same things out of their lives.
But in case you are being swayed by the nasty right wing capitalist dating tips out there and straying from the path of true romance, according to the kama sutra, these qualities make a man desirable:
Men well versed in the science of love
Men skilled in telling stories
Men acquainted with women from their childhood
Men who have secured their confidence
Men who send presents to them
Men who talk well
Men who do things that they like
Men who have not loved other women previously
Men who act as messengers
Men who know their weak points
Men who are desired by good women
Men who are united with their female friends
Men who are good looking
Men who have been brought up with them
Men who are their neighbours
Men who are devoted to sexual pleasures, even though these be with their own servants
The lovers of the daughters of their nurse
Men who have been lately married
Men who like picnics and pleasure parties
Men who are liberal
Men who are celebrated for being very strong (Bull men)
Enterprising and brave men
Men who surpass their husbands in learning and good looks, in good qualities, and in liberality
Men whose dress and manner of living are magnificent
It's a little antiquated, but some of it still holds true. And it's a formidable list as well... surely you can cultivate enough of these qualities within yourself to be desirable.
find other awkward, poor people and bond with them... you will have more in common and you will also have more fun together.
Well there you go. This should be the end of the thread. Who resurrected this thing anyway?
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