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I think the fact that you took her virginity has made her feelings stronger and hit faster.
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are you saying that in order to be properly in love with someone , you must be completely comfortable with telling them " I love you " several times per day ?
Maybe, maybe not, but part of being in a relationship with someone is dealing with their quirks and understanding that they may care about things that you don't and proceeding respectfully.
I think the fact that you took her virginity has made her feelings stronger and hit faster.
I think you've hit the nail on the head.
It took me several months of feeling comfortable with the guy I lost my virginity to, so I can't imagine if it was only a week or two. Now it seems her feelings are on warp speed.
It took me several months of feeling comfortable with the guy I lost my virginity to, so I can't imagine if it was only a week or two. Now it seems her feelings are on warp speed.
She sounds like the type who will want a marriage commitment fairly quickly.
I think the fact that you took her virginity has made her feelings stronger and hit faster.
Yes, some people are not emotionally detached from sex. Sometimes I suspect many people "learn" to be detached because of short-lived relationships & flings.
I think the OP should be honest, but in a gentle way. And yes, to a certain point, you have to accommodate someone else's preferences to have a relationship. It seems to me though, most people who are gushy will calm down in time naturally anyway.
been seeing a girl since early December of last year ( made first contact online towards end of October 2013 ) and we became official the second day of the new year
last sunday , this woman told me she loved me , she had been telling me I was " very special " to her for the previous two weeks and we had been spending on average two days per week with each other and have slept together around seven times so far
when she told me I was taken aback but within thirty seconds of hearing this I replied in kind , I sort of regret that she put me in this position , I like her very much but its obviously insanely soon to hear " I love you " , she says it to me all the time now and I feel under pressure to fire back the same , I don't want to sit her down and say " the I love you line " makes me feel uneasy " but I did prefer things before when we were so comfortable around each other while also being affectionate
my question is would it make this girl think that I don't like her anymore if I asked her to slow down a bit with the " I love you " stuff
She is a stage 5 clinger. RUN my friend. RUN fast!
its nice knowing that she loves me but I wish we didn't have to declare it several times per day , I also don't like saying it over the phone or in a text , I need to be in her presence for it to have any meaning , I cant see that changing
YOu might want to check out the 5LoveLanguages website. Gives good advice on how people express their feelings in different ways...that may explain why she wants to declare it several times per day.
Honestly, if you aren't comfortable with it, you have to find a way to express it...and she will find a way to deal with it if she TRULY loves you.
02-03-2014, 07:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by irish_bob
been seeing a girl since early December of last year ( made first contact online towards end of October 2013 ) and we became official the second day of the new year
last sunday , this woman told me she loved me , she had been telling me I was " very special " to her for the previous two weeks and we had been spending on average two days per week with each other and have slept together around seven times so far
when she told me I was taken aback but within thirty seconds of hearing this I replied in kind , I sort of regret that she put me in this position , I like her very much but its obviously insanely soon to hear " I love you " , she says it to me all the time now and I feel under pressure to fire back the same , I don't want to sit her down and say " the I love you line " makes me feel uneasy " but I did prefer things before when we were so comfortable around each other while also being affectionate
my question is would it make this girl think that I don't like her anymore if I asked her to slow down a bit with the " I love you " stuff
I've had this happen...but I couldn't say it back. I think I said 'thanks'...
IMO it is way too soon and if it were me, well I wouldn't have said it back unless I felt that, and if it was me in your position I'd just tell her:
"Listen, when you told me you loved me, I responded in kind but it was out of pressure. The more you say it, the more pressure I feel...so you need to stop and give me space before you wreck what I consider a good relationship"....
And that would be that. If she couldn't understand why...well, she wouldn't be for me anyways..
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