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I am amazed at the number of people who feel the have the right to unilaterally cancel someone else's sex life. If someone decides they no longer want sex, fine. But they either need to allow their SO to get it elsewhere, or end the relationship. To do otherwise is just selfish and controlling.
Really? I'm not surprised. I figured very few people would allow it. And even fewer would discuss it with their SO. Humans are innately selfish...and when it comes to this scenario, even more so. I agree though, I view it as selfish and controlling.
For those quoting vows...let me remind you that those specific vows are only applicable to that religion (Christianity usually). As an atheist, my vows never contained those words. So I guess that means I'm "free to roam the world" right?
Your religion may make your rules, but for those of us not of your religion, well, those rules don't apply. Therefore, using it to win an argument is a moot point.
getting married is a moot point to all non religions becuase it is first and formost a religious institution.
I would question why people getting married in churches by pastors would have taken the vows in the first place or even bothered getting married or had the ceremony to begin with
It all moot unless you took the vows.
If you did your just a hypocrite and lier and it shows just how much your word actually means.
Last edited by rego00123; 02-13-2014 at 03:15 PM..
Reason: Silly Mobil
Is she not open to counseling of any kind? Why do you think she "hates" you?
After begging for years she finally agreed to see a counselor but it failed because she feels I am totally responsible for our conflicts and she shows no accountability for her contribution. Secondly, the counselor was pretty much a dud.
Why does she hate me? All I can say is that we have been incompatible since we got together and shouldn't have gotten married.
Never heard a vow that included sexual exclusivity and I've know several couples that are married and committed through sickness and health, good times and bad, and swing or have open marriages.
Now your faulty moral compass makes sense when you reference your friends.
If you people want to go around screwing others why even bother getting married then?
Sex is very important to me. If I truly loved my SO and he said I cannot have sex outside of or relationship, even though he could or did not want it, I'd end up leaving. If he said I could, I would hopefully find someone on the side who is willing to do it when I want. I'd go without for as long as I can, then go to the guy on the side. Side guy would not be a friend. Just a booty call. Sex is only physical to me, so no emotions involved so no problem worrying about that.
If the tables were turned. I would ask him to not tell me when he's going, but that he has my permission. Loving him means I'd want him to be happy. If he needs sex, then I'd allow it. I won't say it'd be easy to handle, but I'd allow it.
After reading all these posts about sexless relationships, I'm curious. If you're the person that isn't into it or can't do the deed for whatever reason, would you allow your SO to find someone else? I know they say a relationship shouldn't be all about sex, but for some people, it's very important.
For the sake of all the if's, and's, or but's, let's just assume you don't want sex, for whatever reason, and they want sex and are okay with having it with someone else, as long as you give the okay.
Would you ever allow them to have sexual relations outside of your relationship, so they can be satisfied? And if you wouldn't allow them, do you think that's selfish since you're the one that doesn't want sex? If you don't feel it's selfish either, then how do you view it? And would you be okay with them leaving you, purely because of lack of sex?
It's like me marrying someone I consider to be my "brother" someone platonic or kin.
If I married someone like that, I'd be open to them sleeping with whomever they like, but that's assuming that I have really unhealthy attachments and depend on them way too much and care very little about them disregarding what I truly want in a partner.
But, people define their relationships however in which way they want. I probably couldn't see myself marrying someone who I wasn't physically capable of being aroused by and turned on on some level.
[quote=rego00123;33459934]getting married is a moot point to all non religions becuase it is first and formost a religious institution.[\quote]
First and foremost. Yes. But times have changed. Whomever decided to make it a legal contract, did just that. "Marriage" is now a legal contract. Accept it. Deal with it. You can get "married" legally, religiously, or both. However, if you only get married religiously, the law won't recognize it. Heck, the law doesn't recognize polygamy even though that's a Mormon marriage. Hmm......
Quote:
I would question why people getting married in churches by pastors would have taken the vows in the first place or even bothered getting married or had the ceremony to begin with
Got me. But I'm sorry to say, but I know a lot of people who get married in churches and don't follow any of the actual rules....like, no sex before marriage, no living together before marriage, etc, etc, etc. In fact, I think I know of ONE person in my life that I have met, that has actually followed the book. The rest, like to pick and choose what they'll follow.
Quote:
It all moot unless you took the vows.
If you did your just a hypocrite and lier and it shows just how much your word actually means.
What is moot unless you took the vows? Marriage? Or this entire conversation? I'm thinking the latter.
Good thing I never said those vows. Oh wait. I did. Too bad my XH cheated on me. Guess I'm not a hypocrite afterall. But then again, I guess that would mean I should still be with him as it's "through good times and bad". I'd rather be a hypocrite than be walked on and/or taken advantage of by a sleezy man.
Now your faulty moral compass makes sense when you reference your friends.
If you people want to go around screwing others why even bother getting married then?
Because "marriage" is a legal contract in the United States. Because in the U.S., we have freedom of religion. So your religion has no part in anyone's marriage, but yours (since you keep using religion as an excuse).
Also, Mormons believe in polygamy, so the man at least, can get "married" multiple times and have sex with lots of different wives. But that's okay, because he's "married", even if he's not LEGALLY married to any other "wife" but the first?
It's like me marrying someone I consider to be my "brother" someone platonic or kin.
If I married someone like that, I'd be open to them sleeping with whomever they like, but that's assuming that I have really unhealthy attachments and depend on them way too much and care very little about them disregarding what I truly want in a partner.
But, people define their relationships however in which way they want. I probably couldn't see myself marrying someone who I wasn't physically capable of being aroused by and turned on on some level.
When I asked the question, I was thinking more along the lines of, you've been in a relationship with your SO, but things have changed for whatever reason. THEN, do you stay, go, or allow them to find someone else?
When I asked the question, I was thinking more along the lines of, you've been in a relationship with your SO, but things have changed for whatever reason. THEN, do you stay, go, or allow them to find someone else?
Your question alone - If you don't want sex, will you allow your SO to have sex with someone else? - my answer would be I won't even be in a relationship. I would rather find a mountain/boondocks I can live like a hermit on.
My quoted post where you explain the scenario. My choice is I would go or let them go. I am strictly monogamous and I can't live with someone who I know sleeps with other people. Yuck.
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