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Your attitude about birth control pills is a bit childish. You "can't remember" to take a pill once a day?? COME ON. If I were your husband I'd be "behaving strangely towards" you too.
It's sort of a dirty little secret that a lot of women have problems with hormonal birth control pills. It's not just having to take them every day, it's migraines and mood swings and blood clots and a dead libido. So many people (especially guys) are so quick to say "waah, condoms, just take the pill" but screwing with your body chemistry is a huge deal. Maybe even a huger deal than lowered sensations.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
It's sort of a dirty little secret that a lot of women have problems with hormonal birth control pills. It's not just having to take them every day, it's migraines and mood swings and blood clots and a dead libido. So many people (especially guys) are so quick to say "waah, condoms, just take the pill" but screwing with your body chemistry is a huge deal. Maybe even a huger deal than lowered sensations.
It's rather interesting that the same pill can help so many women (many I know started on it well before being sexually active to help with cramps) and screw other women up. It's fascinating, from a physiological standpoint, how different we are despite being very homogenous genetically as far as species go.
I would think if she's inserting a diaphragm she'd want to wash her hands before she puts it in? I would.
OP, could you compromise and use condoms for the more spontaneous times and the diaphragm for those times when you know it's going to be happening?
That was my intended plan. I usually wear a diaphragm, but on those few occasions when I don't have it in, I ask him to wear a condom, but he never wants to.
You obviously just can't appreciate how much a condom can restrict pleasure for a man
They are what many would call a "necessary evil" in most cases - NO MAN likes to wear them.
Your attitude about birth control pills is a bit childish. You "can't remember" to take a pill once a day?? COME ON. If I were your husband I'd be "behaving strangely towards" you too.
What about the hormonal impact? Many people are not aware that birth control pills are strongly linked to breast and ovarian cancer.
It's sort of a dirty little secret that a lot of women have problems with hormonal birth control pills. It's not just having to take them every day, it's migraines and mood swings and blood clots and a dead libido. So many people (especially guys) are so quick to say "waah, condoms, just take the pill" but screwing with your body chemistry is a huge deal. Maybe even a huger deal than lowered sensations.
I completely understand, birth control pills are not for every woman.
My problem was actually with her saying she "can't remember" to take a pill every day. Seems like a lame excuse to me, along with what seems like her irrational fear of the pill.
One of the benefits of a committed relationship for most men is that they no longer have to "cover up".
Wise couples find a method of birth control they can BOTH be happy with. I hope this couple will do that.
What do you mean he "behaves strangely" toward you? Does he then withhold sex? Does he get turned off? Does he pout or go through with it like it's a chore? Obviously there is something going on in his head. You need to find out what that is.
Maybe it's a trust issue. Could he think that you want to use it because you want to protect him from an STD? Could he think that you don't trust him and want to protect yourself from an STD? In other words, is he seeing this as more than a basic request for contraception? If so, that's a pretty big thing you two need to talk about.
But if he's just annoyed that he has to wear a condom, he needs to get over it. The momentary difference in pleasure he'd get from going bareback is not worth an unplanned, unwanted pregnancy. He needs to remember that although he would become a father before he wants to, you would not only become a mother before you want to, you would also be the one dealing with the weight gain, swollen ankles, backaches, vomiting, labor, and altered career before you want to.
No, he doesn't withhold sex. He's the one that usually initiates it. We have a very strong monogamous relationship. I seriously doubt that he suspects I don't trust him. It is more grounded in his annoyance with condoms.
I've thought about pulling a practical joke on him by feigning pregnancy, just to see his reaction.
No, he doesn't withhold sex. He's the one that usually initiates it. We have a very strong monogamous relationship. I seriously doubt that he suspects I don't trust him. It is more grounded in his annoyance with condoms.
I've thought about pulling a practical joke on him by feigning pregnancy, just to see his reaction.
IUD isn't implanted in the skin. It's inserted in your uterus by a doctor. There are no hormones in the copper one, so there are no hormone side effects. The main side effect of the copper IUD is possible heavier periods.
The point of it my suggesting it is that it eliminates the need for condoms for spontaneous sex. Might make things easier for both you and your husband if there is a solution that gives you birth control without putting a damper on the spur of the moment.
This is what I was thinking. The good thing about the IUD is it allows for spontaneous sex and doesn't get in the way of oral sex (no gooey diaphragm gel in the crucial area).
OP, I suggest both you and your hubby make an appt. with Planned Parenthood to see what all your options are. You can discuss together with the counselor there the pros and cons of each method, ask questions, and make a decision based on what's best for you. It may sound a little high-school to go to PP, but they're there for everyone, of all ages. They'll have all the info on every method (many people don't even know IUD's are still used in the US, for example). And there's a hormone patch worn topically on the skin, though it probably would have the same side effects as oral BC.
A condom is a perfectly valid choice. I wouldn't be thrilled with an SO who refused to wear one, I hope your guy will come around in his thinking. I guess once they get used to sex without it, it's hard for them to go back.... Guys get spoiled. But the top priority should be to avoid a pregnancy. His comfort may have to take a back seat to that.
Good luck, OP.
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