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Your relationship will benefit from a free and open discussion of this subject leading to a mutual agreement, hopefully, as to how to go forward. While it sounds like the subject has certainly come up, it doesn't look like you two have really opened up and/or searched for mutual ground on which to base an agreement. It also sounds to me like you two need to explore/research all the options more thoroughly with a more positive perspective on reaching an agreement.
I'm definitely open to various options, but I prefer natural methods of birth control.
Maybe talking with your GYN and/or PCP (if different) about this might be a good idea? (and husband, der)
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610
You both need to learn about all birth control forms and this is not "implanted" into your skin it goes in your uterus. Hence the reason you both need to learn about all forms of birth control. That way you both can make a better informed decision as to how you want to proceed until you are ready to start a family.
I think these two posters are spot on... of course talk to your husband and communicate about these things, but also talk to your doctor and learn more about birth control because there are other methods that might fit both your needs and your husbands better. Another option for you is Natural Family Planning. It's more associated with the Catholic Church, but it is "natural birth control"
Basically you need to learn the benefits and detriments of all the forms of birth control out there, and talk with your husband about how to proceed.
I am sure he would be sympathetic to how you do not want the side effects of hormone drugs. However, in return, you should show some sympathy towards his desire to not wear a condom as well. Although to you it seems a reasonable option, it may be hindering his enjoyment of sex which is why is being "strange" about it.
Honestly (as a guy), when your used to having sex without a condom, occasionally having it with one is a very lackluster experience since it dulls so much of the feeling.
As a married couple, and with as many options as are available, I would think the two of you could try a few different things and come to an agreeable solution so you both can have enjoyable, worry free intimate time.
For the IUD, she'd need to find a provider that will perform the procedure because the IUD is best for women who have given birth.
OP, if you're not too keen on hormones then your options are fertility awareness method and vaginal contraceptive film. Or, just opt for a hormonal BC that has a low dose of hormones. Weigh the pros and cons of each.
You both need to learn about all birth control forms and this is not "implanted" into your skin it goes in your uterus. Hence the reason you both need to learn about all forms of birth control. That way you both can make a better informed decision as to how you want to proceed until you are ready to start a family.
Thanks, but I do not want anything implanted into my uterus. Also, although the copper IUD is hormone free, it is not without side effects. A possible side effect is longer/heavier periods.
My husband and I have been married for two years. We are both STD free and I definitely trust that he is extremely committed and monogamous in our marriage. We have decided not to start a family as of yet, due to our upcoming job relocation and extensive traveling plans.
I don't like birth control pills because of the side effects and I'm not really consistent with remembering to take the pill each day, which renders it ineffective. I also don't like the idea of getting the depo provera shot. Usually, our source of birth control is a diaphragm and him withdrawing (sorry for being so explicit). But many times sex is spontaneous and I am not wearing a diaphragm. On those occasions I ask him to wear a condom, but that request usually leads to him behaving strangely towards me.
I am wondering if anyone else has this problem with their husband. If so, how were you able to resolve the issue. I know that I want to wait a few more years before having children. I realize that he doesn't like condoms, but it seems like condoms are our best option when we have spontaneous sex. This is so frustrating!
Another suggestion that you talk to your doctor.....as you seem woefully under-educated about your options.
We've spoken about it; he is very much aware of how I feel. I'm mostly concerned about the side effects, since birth control pills have been linked to breast cancer. He believes I'm over-reacting, but the research on this issue is very conclusive and extensive.
I was thinking more along the line of an actual conversation where he understands how you feel and you understand how he feels. As it stands you’ve made your decision and he can take it or leave it. Any idea that isn’t the one you decided on is getting shot down as quickly as you can find a reason to do so. You’re essentially giving him an ultimatum. Take it from someone in the process of leaving a 13 year marriage, if you give enough ultimatums you’ll eventually find yourself on the losing end of one.
I was thinking more along the line of an actual conversation where he understands how you feel and you understand how he feels. As it stands you’ve made your decision and he can take it or leave it. Any idea that isn’t the one you decided on is getting shot down as quickly as you can find a reason to do so. You’re essentially giving him an ultimatum. Take it from someone in the process of leaving a 13 year marriage, if you give enough ultimatums you’ll eventually find yourself on the losing end of one.
I'm sorry to hear about your possible separation. My husband and I are still newlyweds and definitely not having any major marriage problems that could lead to us separating.
I'm just surprised that so many of my family members and friends don't have a problem risking their health. Very few have any reservations about taking birth control pills, IUDs or depo provera.
I was thinking more along the line of an actual conversation where he understands how you feel and you understand how he feels. As it stands you’ve made your decision and he can take it or leave it. Any idea that isn’t the one you decided on is getting shot down as quickly as you can find a reason to do so. You’re essentially giving him an ultimatum.
If he views this as an ultimatum, he has deeper issues. Is it an ultimatum if she decides not to use tobacco? Or alcohol? Or aspirin? Or to stop cooking dinner and let everyone in the house get their own?
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