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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110
Really. I've dumped men for attitudes like that. Complaining about having to use a condom strikes me as juvenile and whiny. Yeah, okay, pal. A woman is supposed to risk a pregnancy (a nine-month condition) and motherhood (a permanent condition) because you might experience a teeny-tiny bit less pleasure for five minutes? GTFO.
5 minutes? God I hope that was a typo, but otherwise I agree with you there .
IME, a diaphragm is as fast or faster than a condom, once you have some practice. That is one of the things in the OP that does not add up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasper03
She doesn't have an issue with using a diaphram. The problem occurs when the sex is spontaneous and neither one of them want to stop and put in the diaphram. Inserting a diaphram isn't complicated but does take time. You have to wash it out regardless of the fact that it's been sitting in the case (don't want to end up with an infection)
That's silly. We don't wash tampons before we put them in. Or penises.
Quote:
next you have to insert it and make sure it is fitting properly over the cervix or it's ineffective (this is done by feel alone). This puts a pause on spontaneous sex and kind of ruins the moment. It is far easier to open a rubber and slip it over the peen. Especially when you can actually see the darn thing and she can help slip it on for him.
Naw, diaphragms are faster.
Quote:
What makes him selfish is that he also doesn't want a baby but isn't willing to do anything to stop it. What makes him selfish is that he could care less about the side-effects or potential long-term consequences of hormonal bc.
That's what makes him selfish.
Yup. I think the OP has left, because she did not like that being pointed out. Cognitive dissonance. I would not be surprised if, a few months from now, she is surprised to realise she is in an abusive relationship.
IME, a diaphragm is as fast or faster than a condom, once you have some practice. That is one of the things in the OP that does not add up.
That's silly. We don't wash tampons before we put them in. Or penises.
Naw, diaphragms are faster.
Yup. I think the OP has left, because she did not like that being pointed out. Cognitive dissonance. I would not be surprised if, a few months from now, she is surprised to realise she is in an abusive relationship.
There is a reason why they come individually wrapped and not thrown in the box like pads are. It's a clean manufacturing process. Any foreign object that enters the body has the potential to cause infection. As far as penises go some of them do need washing because women get UTIs from dirty ones (also dirty fingers or sex toys) That is the point of washing the diaphram out before you use it. If it's not clean when you put it in you risk a UTI.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones
IME, a diaphragm is as fast or faster than a condom, once you have some practice. That is one of the things in the OP that does not add up.
That's silly. We don't wash tampons before we put them in. Or penises.
Naw, diaphragms are faster.
Yup. I think the OP has left, because she did not like that being pointed out. Cognitive dissonance. I would not be surprised if, a few months from now, she is surprised to realise she is in an abusive relationship.
Me, too. I don't believe her husband loves her. Maybe he's incapable of love and is a narcissist. Whatever the case, it doesn't bode well for their future.
Me, too. I don't believe her husband loves her. Maybe he's incapable of love and is a narcissist. Whatever the case, it doesn't bode well for their future.
Yeah, something is not quite right. Hope they get it worked out.
I don't want to move this off topic, but since the convention of birth control being the burden of the woman and not the man is relevant, I find it interesting how many people ask women to sympathize with a man for not wanting to wear a condom because it's just so unsatisfying and unnatural to him and you have to understand how he feels...
... yet they're okay with women pumping themselves full of chemicals with questionable side effects that suppress/alter their body's natural functions and having artificial devices shoved up their cracks or surgically implanted into their reproductive systems that can have serious mechanical complications let alone medical just so their man doesn't "have" to wear one.
Objectively speaking, I'd say what women have to go through to protect themselves from pregnancy trumps wrapping a sausage, so it wouldn't hurt if men were also encouraged to sympathize more with women and what the reproductive choices they're making as a couple will mean for their bodies and health and comfort and enjoyment of sex.
I don't want to move this off topic, but since the convention of birth control being the burden of the woman and not the man is relevant, I find it interesting how many people ask women to sympathize with a man for not wanting to wear a condom because it's just so unsatisfying and unnatural to him and you have to understand how he feels...
... yet they're okay with women pumping themselves full of chemicals with questionable side effects that suppress/alter their body's natural functions and having artificial devices shoved up their cracks or surgically implanted into their reproductive systems that can have serious mechanical complications just so a man doesn't "have" to wear one.
Objectively speaking, I would say what women have to go through to protect themselves from pregnancy trumps wrapping a sausage, so it wouldn't hurt if men were also encouraged to sympathize more with women and what the reproductive choices they're making as a couple will mean for their bodies and health and comfort and enjoyment of sex.
Just my two cents.
SO well said! And the OP wasn't expecting him to use a condom every time, just once in a while. And he can't even be bothered to do that? The BS-o-meter is off the chart!
This is BAD advice. The depo shot can have serious side effects. Not everyone can successfully use hormonal BC.
Serious side effects? Serious is a strong word. She should talk to a professional (an MD). I took it and the pill and had an IUD st different times in my life and was fine.
My husband and I have been married for two years. We are both STD free and I definitely trust that he is extremely committed and monogamous in our marriage. We have decided not to start a family as of yet, due to our upcoming job relocation and extensive traveling plans.
I don't like birth control pills because of the side effects and I'm not really consistent with remembering to take the pill each day, which renders it ineffective. I also don't like the idea of getting the depo provera shot. Usually, our source of birth control is a diaphragm and him withdrawing (sorry for being so explicit). But many times sex is spontaneous and I am not wearing a diaphragm. On those occasions I ask him to wear a condom, but that request usually leads to him behaving strangely towards me.
I am wondering if anyone else has this problem with their husband. If so, how were you able to resolve the issue. I know that I want to wait a few more years before having children. I realize that he doesn't like condoms, but it seems like condoms are our best option when we have spontaneous sex. This is so frustrating!
Does your husband know how to insert your diaphragm? If not teach him and make it part of foreplay.
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