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Old 02-15-2014, 06:56 PM
 
Location: Chicago
3,391 posts, read 4,483,590 times
Reputation: 7857

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Quote:
Originally Posted by amylewis View Post
Well it would seem that you are trying to point out how unfair people's preferences are to those excluded by them. Calling people delusional hypocrites because they fail to be attracted to certain other people is hardly constructive.

In both cases that you cite those people simply feel no attraction to those you give as examples. Please do explain how they are obligated to feel attracted to your examples, and also why they should be so obligated.

Is it for political reasons? Moral reasons? Legal reasons?

You can object to the preferences of others all you like, call them names for it, demonize them, shame them for it, but at the end of the day it will make no difference and change nothing, although it does beg the question of why do you care?

Sounds to me like a personal problem.
You are completely missing my point, as are most of the nasty, hyper-defensive people on here.

I am not saying people are obligated to date those they don't find attractive. I am saying people use the word "preference" to mask feelings that are far too strong to be called mere "preferences."

You know what? I give up. I give up on the relationship forum, I give up on CD in general. While some people on here have sharp insight and make solid points, they are too few in comparison to the ravers, the trolls and the flamers. Too many people on here just don't listen. Nor do they seem to have the social skills or critical thinking skills needed to carry on rational, polite, intelligent discussions. Everything always degenerates into name calling, ad hominen attacks, and general loudmouthed stupidity.

Good night and good luck.

 
Old 02-15-2014, 07:03 PM
 
Location: Cape Coma Florida
1,369 posts, read 2,275,027 times
Reputation: 2945
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy View Post
You are completely missing my point, as are most of the nasty, hyper-defensive people on here.

I am not saying people are obligated to date those they don't find attractive. I am saying people use the word "preference" to mask feelings that are far too strong to be called mere "preferences."
And you are privy to their inner feelings, thoughts, and true motivations, is that right? You are psychic? I'm sorry, but from where I sit that's just you projecting your stuff onto them. Make yourself a nice hot cup of tea, put on a movie, and relax. If that doesn't work get some lasagna and a nice Chianti.

Last edited by amylewis; 02-15-2014 at 07:18 PM..
 
Old 02-15-2014, 07:10 PM
 
527 posts, read 600,791 times
Reputation: 698
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy View Post
You are completely missing my point, as are most of the nasty, hyper-defensive people on here.

I am not saying people are obligated to date those they don't find attractive. I am saying people use the word "preference" to mask feelings that are far too strong to be called mere "preferences."

You know what? I give up. I give up on the relationship forum, I give up on CD in general. While some people on here have sharp insight and make solid points, they are too few in comparison to the ravers, the trolls and the flamers. Too many people on here just don't listen. Nor do they seem to have the social skills or critical thinking skills needed to carry on rational, polite, intelligent discussions. Everything always degenerates into name calling, ad hominen attacks, and general loudmouthed stupidity.

Good night and good luck.
Nasty, hyper-defensive people, eh? Like the one that wrote the third paragraph of your post? Talk about "ad hominen" (sic) attacks and general loudmouthed stupidity...
 
Old 02-15-2014, 07:11 PM
 
527 posts, read 600,791 times
Reputation: 698
Quote:
Originally Posted by amylewis View Post
And you are privy to their inner feelings, thoughts, and true motivations, is that right? You are psychic? I'm sorry, but from where I sit that's just you projecting your stuff onto them. Make yourself a nice hot cup of tea, put on a movie, and relax. If that doesn't work get some lasagna and a nice chianti.
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to amylewis again.
 
Old 02-15-2014, 07:12 PM
 
4,828 posts, read 4,286,066 times
Reputation: 4766
I can tell you just how hard it is to deal with that prejudice as well. I live in Arkansas, which is a state that is still a bit @ss backwards with same race relationships. The state as a whole is better than it was, but you still have people who have confederate flags in their house. What those flags stand for make me nervous, even though my alma mater was a Rebel, so Dixie was a big thing for us. There wasn't much racism in my years of school. I didn't really see it till I got online to date. Nothing got under my skin more than someone who had "don't message me if you're black" in their profile. I would read their profile and we actually had a lot of things in common, but I couldn't get to know them because of my skin tone. That is really discouraging as well.

When you have those hard prejudices like that, you can paint yourself into a corner. I'd just shrug it off and figured while they are out being treated like crap by the white men they strictly look for, I'll find a woman who loves me, no matter what their parents think. My last relationship a year ago was much like this. She cared about me, but I couldn't talk in the car if her Dad called. Her Dad was pretty prejudice and it caused us some problems. She knew that it bothered me, but deep down, she admitted that she still wants to be a Daddy's girl. She isn't very close to her father, but she wants to have a close relationship with him. As she explained, she saw her friends and how close they were with their Dads and it was something she ALWAYS wanted.

Those prejudices can really put a wedge inbetween you and your partner when you still want to please your parents. I say eff that. If my Mom had a problem with who I dated, then that's her problem and not mine. I want to be happy and I'm not going to let a good person get away, just because my parent doesn't agree with their skin tone. That's so stupid and you're cutting off your nose to spite your face.
 
Old 02-15-2014, 08:51 PM
 
Location: NW Indiana
44,360 posts, read 20,070,158 times
Reputation: 115328
Since this has pretty much turned into a thread about race, it's now closed.

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