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It's never too late to tie the knot. And she may be concerned with her future security if you were to pass away. Is she working? If not, she would get your Social Security if you were to pass away. If you love her, wouldn't you want to see that she would get at least some minimum guarantees in her old age?
Yes, she's working just like I am too. We have made a will to each other so all guarantees have been given.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Also, your kids would have inheritance rights, which they don't have right now.
Of course they have inheritance rights, they're the rightful heirs. Your children are your children whether you're married or not.
Yes, she's working just like I am too. We have made a will to each other so all guarantees have been given.
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That's good... glad you did that. But a will can be disputed and families over-ride living trusts all the time. And you still don't get tax-free inheritance or social security benefits. You can work around that by putting extra money aside in a join account to cover the costs for when one of you passes away. If you are that agaist marrying to get the automatic benefits, but you want them, I would make sure you talk to a lawyer and a financial planner and be sure all your bases are covered. You wouldn't want her (or you) to lose your home/property when one of you dies because you can't afford the taxes.
Of course, the best way to find out "why" she wants to marry is ask her. I think security... but maybe she's thinking romance. I really don't know.
That's good... glad you did that. But a will can be disputed and families over-ride living trusts all the time. And you still don't get tax-free inheritance or social security benefits. You can work around that by putting extra money aside in a join account to cover the costs for when one of you passes away. If you are that agaist marrying to get the automatic benefits, but you want them, I would make sure you talk to a lawyer and a financial planner and be sure all your bases are covered. You wouldn't want her (or you) to lose your home/property when one of you dies because you can't afford the taxes.
Of course, the best way to find out "why" she wants to marry is ask her. I think security... but maybe she's thinking romance. I really don't know.
I personally know someone here in NC that was partners with a man, she nursed him when he got sick, and had been together with him for 35 years I think. When he passed away, even though a will gave her everything, she ended up having to split the estate 3 ways with the two surviving daughters. Who hadn't seen there dad in 10 years. Or visited while he was sick for two years. There are a lot more details, that are horrible and pointless at the moment. Just food for thought.
Personally, I think she is in it more from a romance perspective.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by McCarl
My partner and I have been together for 34 years. We have never been married and have 3 sons together.
Lately, however, she has been pushing the marriage issue. We were watching a film the other day and there was a wedding scene. She asked me if it wouldn't be great if we had the same moment together. She randomly asks me where I would like to go if we had a honeymoon or if I've never imagined her in a wedding dress.
I told her that had never been an issue between us but she either changes subjects or says she's allowed to daydream.
I hope her hyper religious friends have not been feeding ideas into her head.
Why would she want to marry after all these years? Women's input would be greatly appreciated.
I am one of the most anti-marriage people on this subforum and am very much against organized religion. However in this situation, it is probably very advisable for marriage from a legal/financial perspective. Hell, you are likely already a married couple in the eyes of your state via common law marriage. If you ain't feeling the wedding (trust me, I HATE weddings), just go to a justice of the peace and sign the papers. It is just like going to a doctor's appointment or something.
Maybe she wants to be honorable in the eyes of her religion and society.
People evolve over time. Perhaps what was no big deal when she was younger is important now.
I suspect she wants the self-respect, societal respect, deeper commitment, and legal reassurance of making it "official."
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(trust me, I HATE weddings), just go to a justice of the peace and sign the papers. It is just like going to a doctor's appointment or something.
