Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
She's female and most likely wants to experience the whole bride thing. Or she's tired of being the perpetual girlfriend, which doesn't really mean anything anyway.
This! I cannot believe OP is not understanding these clear hints from his girlfriend. I mean what else could she mean with all this?
Don't fix what isn't broken. If you two have worked fine as things are for so long, no sense in screwing it up. Stay the course.
That's the thing. I've known a few cases similar to ours where everyhting was ruined after the wedding. Legal bonds have a way to make people different. We've always been okay the way we are.
I can only remember another time when she mentioned marriage and that was when our second son was born. We were very busy at the time, though, and the issue never came up again.
Location: I don't know..If you find me, let me know.
639 posts, read 679,945 times
Reputation: 673
May be now she want some memorable moment in her life.. If you don't have any problem from it then why don't you agree to do it.. I think it will be great time for both of you..
That's the thing. I've known a few cases similar to ours where everyhting was ruined after the wedding. Legal bonds have a way to make people different. We've always been okay the way we are.
I can only remember another time when she mentioned marriage and that was when our second son was born. We were very busy at the time, though, and the issue never came up again.
In what way do you think things would be different after being with her for 34 years? And do you see this differences as being good or bad? I guess I just can't imagine being afraid of marrying someone that you've been with for 34 years.
All the legal issues have been sorted out a few years ago, so that's not the problem. Like I've said, I've tried to talk with her about this but she always changes the subject or acts like it was a random idea that just got through her head.
Thirty four years of a life together with you....several children...she's an older woman now. She's given you pretty much all she has. Why is this too much to give her, considering what I just said?
Not saying you are this way. I don't know you. But it makes me wonder..Why are some men like that? Why must they get everything a woman has and then feel that they should only give what they "feel like" giving? She changes the subject because she's probably hurt and doesn't want to face the fact that she has lived a long married life with a man who doesn't see himself married to her in a ceremony.
First of all, why won't you marry her? Next, I can imagine you don't refer her as your GF but she's not your wife either, what does that make her? The women that gave birth to your children? Mistress?
Ask yourself this, why would she stay with you for 34 long yrs not to mention had your kids? It doesn't seem she's financially depending on you since she's working herself.
Has it ever occur to you that she wanted marry all along? That she's really been waiting for her clueless man to pop that due question other than the one time she has to "randomly" brought it up?
Mind you, that's many years of youth gone for a woman to stay with you not expecting an official status, why wouldn't she want to marry after all these years!
Most women in a relationship eventually wish to marry. There's a difference between married and cohabiting, where one is a complete puzzle picture and the other is missing a piece.
Thirty four years of a life together with you....several children...she's an older woman now. She's given you pretty much all she has. Why is this too much to give her, considering what I just said?
Not saying you are this way. I don't know you. But it makes me wonder..Why are some men like that? Why must they get everything a woman has and then feel that they should only give what they "feel like" giving? She changes the subject because she's probably hurt and doesn't want to face the fact that she has lived a long married life with a man who doesn't see himself married to her in a ceremony.
It's because the order of things have been ruined. So nowadays we're living in this society which is doing it all backwards, the woman giving away everything first, being a total giver and hardly ever a taker and wait endlessly for a man to give his part. Before, it would be the man who was working hard to give out his part and propose (and has been that way for a very long time; there are certain things that are better left off to it's original order and setting), then the woman would give out her part too and both appreciated each other.
What's next?? Creating a romantic scene for the man (which would very backwards, pathetic and so unnatural) and giving him flowers??
My partner and I have been together for 34 years. We have never been married and have 3 sons together.
Lately, however, she has been pushing the marriage issue. We were watching a film the other day and there was a wedding scene. She asked me if it wouldn't be great if we had the same moment together. She randomly asks me where I would like to go if we had a honeymoon or if I've never imagined her in a wedding dress.
I told her that had never been an issue between us but she either changes subjects or says she's allowed to daydream.
I hope her hyper religious friends have not been feeding ideas into her head.
Why would she want to marry after all these years? Women's input would be greatly appreciated.
Maybe she feels that after 34 years of partnership and 3 kids later.. she feels she's sacrificed herself a lot without demanding much, and a part of her feels sad like she wants to know how special she means to you?
Perhaps she feels taken for granted? Being a mother to 3 boys, I can imagine she's given a lot of herself to your children, and she's also given a lot of herself to you, and at the end of the day, she wants to know she matters.
From what you mention, I get a feeling she wants to feel loved, adored, cherished, valued, appreciated for devoting herself in life with you throughout these years, and she's happy to but doesn't want to ask for much.
Sorta like she's re-writing her narrative like she's reviewing her life-script, in retrospect.
It's because the order of things have been ruined. So nowadays we're living in this society which is doing it all backwards, the woman giving away everything first, being a total giver and hardly ever a taker and wait endlessly for a man to give his part. Before, it would be the man who was working hard to give out his part and propose (and has been that way for a very long time; there are certain things that are better left off to it's original order and setting), then the woman would give out her part too and both appreciated each other.
What's next?? Creating a romantic scene for the man (which would very backwards, pathetic and so unnatural) and giving him flowers??
"Society" is not attempting to make a fool of this woman. The man is choosing to out of his own self-centeredness. What a wonderful father he must be.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
She changes the subject because she's probably hurt and doesn't want to face the fact that she has lived a long married life with a man who doesn't see himself married to her in a ceremony.
