Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I meet a guy on internet dating. First date he asks how much money I have and starts internet searching for houses, showing me and asking if I can pay cash for one. I ignore the question. He says he needs to know if I am financially secure as he is a 56 year old bachelor how owns his home and doesn't want woman who is chasing his money. Second date, he takes me to the first place of interest on my profile...I thought "at least he read it". I ride a road bicycle so a few days later he puts his bike in for repair. Bonus...a guy who wants to participate in my interests. Third date....movies.....great, another interest of mine. Forth date, he takes me to the area I used to live and where my xhusband lives although he knows I avoid that area...warning sign of jealousy?. Next date, bush walking, another interest of mine. But....he takes my phone and scrolled through my contact list and commented on the male contacts. Had to insist on having my phone returned to me. He keeps asking me if I have told anyone about him, he has told his brother about me and shown him my profile and pics. I told him no I hadn't, but several days laterI show a friend at work and tell him in text that I showed a girlfriend his pic. Told him she was a bit shocked to think I was dating as I had chosed to remain single for the previous 2 years. I get back that I should be keeping is close to ourselves as with nil sex we may fall over so I should not have shown his photo as people pump things up and blow tings out of proportion. I flipped, tld him he was paranoid and asked if he had something to hide....it was only a pic. I ended up apologizing, feeling an idiot ??? to which I spent a night with him, after which he said "we are in a relationship", you don't have to hide me.
In the weeks that followed I noticed.
He kept logging onto real estate trying to persuade my house choices, although all I had told him was the area I wished to live. He kept bringing up houses in the suburb my x husband lives.
I am selling my car for a price of $30,000 which will allow me to buy a brand new smaller car. He disagrees and thinks I should outlay a further $18,000 for an audi.
He key locks his front security door and triple locks his wooden door, locks dividing doors ad is very meticulous about where he leaves things.
Everywhere we go he carries a shoulder bagt with his ipad as he says it contains his life. When he did leave it at home once he hid it in his pillow.
He home was boiling hot one night with all windows closed, reluctantly he opened a kitchen window but refused to open the door near where we were sitting, a glass door with a security doors behind it. He said a ghecko loved in between the tracks so he couldn't open it. I suspect opening the door would have made him feel vulnerable.
I stayed over last weekend and within a half hour he produced a machete from the behind the lounge room chair and said he would kill any intruder. I felt afraid and said "What if they were invited". He said "Even if they were invited and there was no proof he could kill and had a right to". He then proudly showed me a knife in his bedroom drawer and he also has a sword and baseball bat beside his bed.
He believes that the real estate agent wishing to buy his previous house was plotting to kill him and had bugged his floor boards, even though there was no evidence of this. A past work colleague was in love with him and he felt threatened so he moved work locations to get away from him. He thinks he has been stalked with cars sitting across from his home watching him. We have to talk quietly as he thinks people outside can hear our conversations. He saw a picture of my eldest son who is a business man and said that he frightened him. He has asked for proof that I have money, I showed him one bank account to ease his mind, he seemed relieved. He has asked for details on me...dob, email address, my unit number, full name and I saw a recent credit check form on his laptop which he seems uneasy about.
He keep talking about if we live together and how things will be. He planned holidays ahead and was making suggestions on things we could do. I was trying to work put what he was after so I told him that I was going to leave my house purchase for a while to see where we were headed as he is planning to sell his home in a year and just maybe we might end up 50/50 together. He went cold, dead cold. When I enquired as to why he said "I think you have more serious intentions than I do at this stage, we are day to day, I have so much on my plate with my mother ill and renovating my home that I cannot think more than a month ahead". I told him I wasn't chasing a serious relationship but wanted to know his intentions because if he was looking at buying with me I would have run a mile because I do not wish to become financially tied with someone. Also told him I wanted hi to shut his laptop and stop searching for my houses and cars. He said he was worried about my choices but was not interested in what I do at all.
I believe this man to be very fearful, very paranoid. He appears to like to control the women in his life. He is frightened of being used and is hyper vigilant. I have told him that he suffers from Paranoid personality disorder and he needs mental help. We are on really bad terms. I have never said anything negative about him prior yet every time I have seen him he has faulted the lines on my face, my underwear, my hair style, says I am getting jowls, my financial choices, hates my unit, hates my car, thinks my sons is frightening...the list goes on. He has pulled my self esteem right down. He cut a light off my bike because he didn't like it. Turned up with a second drink holder for my bike and just put in on without asking. Says he doesn't want a woman in his life who spends money yet bags me out because I am cautious spending.
My question is: why do I care? Why after ending our relationship have I sunk into depression. He was a controller and if I ever challenged him I think he would have lopped my head off. Is it the aftereffects of having to walk away from a man I was falling in love with? Why do I feel like I could have helped him? I have no shortage of potential suitors yet this man had stuck in my mind. I fear him yet I care. Im lost to understand myself and him.
I don't think that response was very nice. If you do not wish to read or understand my thoughts you should leave your critical remarks in your shallow mind burgler09 Life is not perfect for everyone
If that's all true, call kids or a trusted relative and have them declare you mentally incompetent. Not being mean, but you need someone to look after you.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Yes a rescuer by nature sadly enough. lol My user name was supposed to be just me at 53 but put together after registration I thought what the......not good hmmm
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
lol My user name was supposed to be just me at 53 but put together after registration I thought what the......not good hmmm
