Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't think it's abnormal or inappropriate that he was telling me about his relationship struggles. Like I mentioned before, we had worked together for years and he used to confide in me about a lot of things. We built a close relationship during that time. I have a lot of male friends - that I don't sleep with - who tell me all sorts of things.
Hmmm....
Ever heard of the term emotional intimacy or emotional affair?
He was my friend and I trusted him. I don't need to explain that any further. Therefore, when he offered me the option of staying at his house BEFORE we started drinking, I said great, let's have a fun night and I will take you up on the offer to crash at your place. NOT A BIG DEAL. It was supposed to be a night of cocktails, laughs and catching up - which it was, until the end.
When he got into bed with me and I told him no, he backed off and left the room.
Maybe I'm old or cynical, but it sounds like this guy wanted some from the start. I wonder if the offer came before or after the sympathy ploy.
Yea
But... in one of the OP's responses, she does not see her male co-worker telling her about his relationship problems as wanting sympathy. Her interpretation of that is... he is committed to his relationship.
Yah sorry I wouldn't be talking to opposite sex coworkers about my relationships issues, and we are all close and have known each other for many more years than a short 2.
It's pretty disrespectful to my wife that I would have to confide in another women to "feel better" about my relationship. The only person that should be working through issues with me is the person involved in them.
Things don't get "personal" unless you take them there. It takes two people to become emotionally invested.
That's not to say what he did wasn't right....but seriously girl. A little forethought goes a Long way.
So you got the offer to spend the night first, then proceeded to get too drunk to see yourself home? And now you are shocked the guy tried to shag your drunk a$$... Yuck. Get off your high horse and slink away into the distance as you should... Telling his gf is ridiculous given your behavior.
Yah sorry I wouldn't be talking to opposite sex coworkers about my relationships issues, and we are all close and have known each other for many more years than a short 2.
It's pretty disrespectful to my wife that I would have to confide in another women to "feel better" about my relationship. The only person that should be working through issues with me is the person involved in them.
Things don't get "personal" unless you take them there. It takes two people to become emotionally invested.
That's not to say what he did wasn't right....but seriously girl. A little forethought goes a Long way.
IMO it is a big deal because the way I read it, it sounds premeditated on his part to take advantage of you after you'd been drinking.
That it was premeditated would be nothing but assumption really. Drink can affect different people in different ways. His actions may have been premeditated sure. But just as possible is that they were not - and they only came after drink was taken.
Not that this excuses his out of line actions either way - but we do not really address the situation by engaging in assumption either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by snugglegirl05
I disagree.
I would not do it out of respect and consideration for the couple.
Then you are not disagreeing at all. You are merely giving YOUR personal choices on the matter. Just because you would not do it however does not suggest that there is anything wrong with doing it.
My point was that there is nothing wrong with staying in other peoples houses. Whether they are in a relationship or not. It happens all the time. Just because YOU would not do it does not disagree with the fact there is nothing wrong with it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina
OP thinks it was OK to do whatever she did.
Yes. Because it was. So get over it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina
Now I wonder why she NEEDS our opinion what to do next?
Because she is seeking opinions about HIS actions - not her own. There was nothing wrong or out of line with her own.
Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina
This thread is a waste of time.
Not your call to make. If you do not want to spend time on the thread - there is the door. The topic of this thread is what she should do now that this event has occoured. You are the one who is rolling into the thread with entirely off topic judgements of the OP and how the event came to pass in the first place.
Quote:
Originally Posted by snugglegirl05
Ever heard of the term emotional intimacy or emotional affair?
Yes - too often. Because all too many people around this forum want to pretend mere friendships qualify for the above phrases - when they do not.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
