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Add me to the list of women who isn't going to make out with a man I'm not attracted to. Not likely to sleep with someone I essentially just met either.
You can add me too.
OP, if your expectation is to have sex after 3 dates and her expectation is to wait until she knows you better, you are not a good match. Just tell her you prefer to move faster than she does and end it.
More physical intimacy than making out on the 2nd and 3rd dates? How does that indicate that a future relationship with her would be sexless?
wtf?!
Why does everyone jump and make assumptions on this site?
Here is what I said..
Quote:
I am saying if she wants me to wait fine but I need some inkling this is going somewhere and we will have more physical intimacy. I don't want to wait only to be in a sexless relationship.
Meaning that in the future I expect more physical intimacy. Till then she has to give me some inkling, otherwise why in gods name would I wait.
Do you guys REALLY make the leap from "three dates without putting out" to "a sexless relationship?" Geez, no wonder there's so much ridiculous bitterness out there.
How much bitterness is and is not ridiculous? Can you quantify the ratio?
I love this!!!! I mean WOW! How inconvenient for a lady to have some morals, and respect for herself. Wow, I'm gonna need some popcorn too, lol.
May I have some of that popcorn! I see these posts referring to women with morals as prudish, etc,, but you know what, I bet some of them are NEVER going to truly happy with their lives in the long run living the way they do, popping around from human form of sex relief to another, etc. You can already see the confusion, the bitterness, etc. in many of the posts. They will all burn out and wonder why they are alone.
Why does everyone jump and make assumptions on this site?
Here is what I said..
Meaning that in the future I expect more physical intimacy. Till then she has to give me some inkling, otherwise why in gods name would I wait.
So is this a form of communication, or she is just suppose to hop in the sack with you because you feel your time and money is wasted on a hopeless future, that you yourself aren't even sure of? Shouldn't she be the one that feels comfortable in giving herself to someone she actually has feelings for?
If I'm not mistaken, I would consider 5 months to be to soon to even know that much! Have as many dates as you like in the mean time, that DOES NOT make one obligated to jump in the sack with you.
3 dates = probably not a good time to cut her off for that reason alone.
3 months = by all means cut her off. This would indicate a super prudish backwards attitude about sex.
3 regular dinner dates could consume 3 months time. I'll say a month to be realistic. Combined with 10 meets ups, 100s of texts and many phone calls makes it seem like a lot longer.
So is this a form of communication, or she is just suppose to hop in the sack with you because you feel your time and money is wasted on a hopeless future, that you yourself aren't even sure of? Shouldn't she be the one that feels comfortable in giving herself to someone she actually has feelings for?
If I'm not mistaken, I would consider 5 months to be to soon to even know that much! Have as many dates as you like in the mean time, that DOES NOT make one obligated to jump in the sack with you.
I am going to come out and say it I am not going to wait 5 months that is just ridiculous. I have to feel that this girl is attracted to me and not just some prude who is wasting my time. From my POV if I am put in a situation where I have to wait a long time(more than 2 months) I am going to play the field. And honestly how would a woman know anyway considering most women on this site claimed to assume exclusivity at a certain point. Might sound bad to you guys but this is the cold hard truth and this is what most men would do. We have needs and as amazing as you should be you should realize that we cannot wait forever. You are replaceable...
Uh, this would make sense if she didn't pay for their last outing!
They've had 3 outings. She paid for the most recent, that's a solid 33% of the outings, give or take.
Some of the guys here baffle me. If it's a money thing, simply stop taking her on dates that require money. However, because many of the guys here cry that money is their issue with this, the OP has never once said that he seems to think that's her reasoning, especially since she paid for the last date.
One time when I was single, I was sick of going on dates and not getting laid. When we wouldn't go out to eat, it seemed I would always get laid. it was weird.
You know what I did? I quit taking girls out to eat! In return, I got laid way more, and spent way less! Take up cooking, invite them over, etc. It worked great for me for the several months I did that.
Either way, OP, if you "typically" get girls in less than 3 dates, then you should easily be banging other girls on the side that are nothing more than friends with benefits. In that case, keep doing such until you and your new girl are "official" and if that never happens, then no harm lost, you're still getting laid.
If you aren't already getting laid on the side, then you have no reason to be complaining lol. You and her aren't official, there's nothing saying you can't date other women/still get laid..
What I said before, and will say again, is she respects herself. Be happy with that. Girls like that are not easy to come by.
It's a shame to admit the bold section, but it stands true for me too. I've always had much more success with women when I didn't always go out to dinner and an activity. The women that liked me seemed to be way more interested in my cooking ability, especially after we talked about meals we liked to cook.
The last 14 months I went out on several dinner and activity dates and they seemed to go no where. The dates where we stayed in for dinner, and I/we cooked were way more successful. Even if it didn't lead to sex or a relationship, it would have a better chance of ending with them wanting to see me more often. I came to the conclusion that I am really good at making a woman feel comfortable at my place, but I'm not a good dater when it comes to dinner and an activity. All I can think of is my vibe just doesn't cater well to it. All of my relationships started where we didn't do the typical dinner and activity. We made dinner at home together and played a board game or watched a tv show or movie. I'd ask if they wanted to go out and do an activity and they were much more comfortable just staying in.
Truth be told, staying in is more my style anyways. I can cook the typical things restaurants prepare for a fraction of the cost and we both get leftovers. I have a home theater setup, so outside of an in theater movie, I have just as good of a setup at home. Popcorn, coke, and candy is cheaper on my couch too. I don't mind spending the money at all to go out, but I don't think it's always as necessary as people put off. It could also just be that there was mutual attraction with all my exes, so it wasn't a situation where they had to figure me out in public.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,737,988 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by hooplaman
I am going to come out and say it I am not going to wait 5 months that is just ridiculous. I have to feel that this girl is attracted to me and not just some prude who is wasting my time. From my POV if I am put in a situation where I have to wait a long time(more than 2 months) I am going to play the field. And honestly how would a woman know anyway considering most women on this site claimed to assume exclusivity at a certain point. Might sound bad to you guys but this is the cold hard truth and this is what most men would do. We have needs and as amazing as you should be you should realize that we cannot wait forever. You are replaceable...
And personally, I feel she has no right to expect exclusivity if she isn't willing to do it. A central part of a relationship is sex, if there is no sex after an extended timeframe, there is no relationship to discuss IMO.
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