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I'm married less than two years to a man who can't take responsibility for anything he does.
He is self-employed and works all the time but can't make any money. He bounces check after check, he doesn't know how much he makes. He now has high blood pressure and no health insurance. He saw a Dr because I found a free clinic for him that he didn't know existed. I had lists of good and bad food all over the fridge. I make super healthy meals for him which he then covers in ranch dressing which is high in saturated fat and cholesterol. So we started a fight last night when I told him that he shouldn't be eating the stuff because it's high in two bad fats.
He says his two GROWN daughters hate him because of me - the eldest, 25, was extremely nasty about me and when she stated with what I call a "celebrity apology" ie "sorry if I hurt your feelings BUT" didn't like that I told her a few home truths. The youngest went on my pc and tagged our wedding photo which I was keeping for me and MY friends. I blocked them both and got a friend request from an aunt of theirs so I got off facebook. I bent over backwards to be nice when I met them, the eldest seems like a control freak and an angry person and the youngest is sickly sweet on the surface.
He was nearly in tears when his eldest was vile to him on his birthday last year and he said then that she is just like her mother (who he hates).
Husband thinks I should have just accepted her "apology" but I'm not standing for anything bitchy and nasty from anyone ever again and I've told him that plenty of times.
He hasn't filed taxes for years and years and doesn't do his ordinary paperwork there are receipts everywhere. Now I'm getting the blame for him not having any money, he said that he would be better off living in one room on his own.
His lack of success is nothing to do with me, I've asked him plenty of times to do the books but he just goes quiet. It's not up to me that his kids are very immature for their ages and not very bright and can't understand that because I'm foreign I'm not allowed to work here.
In the past I never stood up for myself and have been bullied by people. I'm not going to have it happen again but it looks like it is.
How can I make him see that it's not MY fault that his kids "hate him"?
people wonder why divorce rates are so high. it's not because society is bad
She's foreign and can't work here. She needed financial security obviously. Which is probably why the kids are angry with her.
Divorce him and go back to your country then. Or file for papers that allow you to work in this country and make a living so that you can save up and leave. Stop trying to change his family. You married into it, deal with it.
He was incredibly attentive to start with and very loving. Then we got married and it all stopped. I tend to leave him alone if he wants to be. I'm on my own all day with nothing to do and no where to go in N Cal. I go for days without even speaking to another person. I get out of the house because I've got a dog but I'm getting really depressed.
He was incredibly attentive to start with and very loving. Then we got married and it all stopped. I tend to leave him alone if he wants to be. I'm on my own all day with nothing to do and no where to go in N Cal. I go for days without even speaking to another person. I get out of the house because I've got a dog but I'm getting really depressed.
Why haven't you taken steps to work in this country? You could get out, meet people and create your own savings. Then you would spend less time getting depressed and feeling attacked by his family. Also, your husband is a grown man. If he wants to eat tons of fats all the time, say once and for all, I care about your health but I am not your mother. And then let him make his own food choices. You can cook healthy meals and he can pour ranch dressing all over it and you don't say anything. You don't allow yourself to worry and complain. Deep breaths and focus on YOU. The only person in this world you can control.
She's foreign and can't work here. She needed financial security obviously. Which is probably why the kids are angry with her.
Divorce him and go back to your country then. Or file for papers that allow you to work in this country and make a living so that you can save up and leave. Stop trying to change his family. You married into it, deal with it.
Well, she married into it.. kind of her fault but that doesn't mean it's ok.
"Which is probably why the kids are angry with her. "
I think so too. When I was their age I was working or in University and working not getting handouts from my parents.
You went to university and worked in your country why haven't you pursued that here? That would give you time away from your husband and his family and allow you to be productive instead of depressed and inside his house.
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