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Understandable chowhound. I don't blame guys for not wanting to chase. I wouldn't either. I also don't like feeling chased it makes me feel guilty and bad for rejecting someone. I would actually rather than move on than for them to keep asking me out because I don't want to be mean and keep turning them down.
In my current situation i have told the guy I liked him so he knows I do and we talk about 5 days out of the week so he knows I'm interested. I feel guilty for declining him. so the last time I did I told him that I did really want to hang out and I asked him when he was free to hang out again and to let me know when he is in advance. The next day he did and asked me to hang out on Tuesday coming up. I said yes. I wouldn't have blamed him if he stopped liking me though.
No response? You won't even see me leave. I use to "pursue" women. But now that I am older, if I give a genuine and warm hello and get almost or nothing back, I don't even bother a second time. Seems to me women have become more afraid of responding over the years. Maybe they are accustomed to being chased by jerks and have built a "strong defense"; but I don't think most women even know how to recognize a nice guy anymore.
No response? You won't even see me leave. I use to "pursue" women. But now that I am older, if I give a genuine and warm hello and get almost or nothing back, I don't even bother a second time. Seems to me women have become more afraid of responding over the years. Maybe they are accustomed to being chased by jerks and have built a "strong defense"; but I don't think most women even know how to recognize a nice guy anymore.
Y... I'm busy often and have things structured and planned. I don't like when people want to do things without giving me notice since im anal about my time and getting certain things that I already had established done. So even if I could possibly change things around in my schedule to hang out with him I don't because I already had plans. ...
This - and not single-motherhood, or "chasing" - is the core issue. I work extensive hours and am thinking about work-related matters almost constantly, so consider me to be "busy" as well. And yet, I detest schedules, appointments, structure and planning. If somebody requires my presence in a meeting at work, come to my office or my lab to remind me.
If a woman is so adamant about the sanctity of her schedule, she and I would struggle to form a partnership, even if the physical attraction were mutual and intense. Presumably many men feel likewise. The OP would benefit from finding men who share her viewpoint on lifestyle and planning, on structure and preparation. This would be essential if/when they marry, for otherwise it won't be a happy household.
Understandable chowhound. I don't blame guys for not wanting to chase. I wouldn't either. I also don't like feeling chased it makes me feel guilty and bad for rejecting someone. I would actually rather than move on than for them to keep asking me out because I don't want to be mean and keep turning them down.
In my current situation i have told the guy I liked him so he knows I do and we talk about 5 days out of the week so he knows I'm interested. I feel guilty for declining him. so the last time I did I told him that I did really want to hang out and I asked him when he was free to hang out again and to let me know when he is in advance. The next day he did and asked me to hang out on Tuesday coming up. I said yes. I wouldn't have blamed him if he stopped liking me though.
never feel bad for turning someone down for a date. if they cant handle rejection then they need to go back to high school. sometimes us guys tend to push a little too hard, and we deserve to be shot down. as to the other guy, you gave him a clue that you were interested in him, so he hung in there, and a date with you is the reward for persistence. now you two need to see if the persistence was worth the effort or not. and by the way, i never stopped liking girls that turned me down.
This - and not single-motherhood, or "chasing" - is the core issue. I work extensive hours and am thinking about work-related matters almost constantly, so consider me to be "busy" as well. And yet, I detest schedules, appointments, structure and planning. If somebody requires my presence in a meeting at work, come to my office or my lab to remind me.
If a woman is so adamant about the sanctity of her schedule, she and I would struggle to form a partnership, even if the physical attraction were mutual and intense. Presumably many men feel likewise. The OP would benefit from finding men who share her viewpoint on lifestyle and planning, on structure and preparation. This would be essential if/when they marry, for otherwise it won't be a happy household.
Your right. Honestly I admit this is an issue of mine, I need to work on. I know I need to not be so uptight on the same hand I don't think it's too much to ask for someone to give me a day or two in advance. This guy would ask me to go out with on the day of. He knows I'm a single mom and he knew this and knew I was busy before he told me he liked me.
BUT, I thought you were just looking for a sexual situation, you said you had no interest in a relationship.
All you can be is upfront: usually all you can see them is once a week, you don't want a relationship but want sex.
I can't see this situation being problematic for a lot of guys. Honestly, you seem to create a lot of drama over small things. Just my opinion though.
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So I rejected him twice last week. And he finally got the message that I can't just go out without a day or two notice in advance.He finally got it that I need a few days in advance to plan things.
Why did he have to figure this out ?? Why did you not tell him you are a single mom and you need a few days notice ??
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith2187
So men, typically how persistant are you with a woman your newly dating?
There is no need to be persistent with anything if we are already in the dating stage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith2187
How long will it take for you to give up or just assume she isn't interested and move on?
I will make the 1st move to talk and flirt with a woman, if she does not make the next move to talk and flirt with me I will treat her like everyone else.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith2187
Have you ever pursued a girl simply because your ego couldnt handle her rejecting you and it became more about getting her to say yes than actually wanting to date her?
[quote=League54;35140398]
Why did he have to figure this out ?? Why did you not tell him you are a single mom and you need a few days notice ??
There is no need to be persistent with anything if we are already in the dating stage.
I will make the 1st move to talk and flirt with a woman, if she does not make the next move to talk and flirt with me I will treat her like everyone else.
[color="DarkRed"]nope[/]
I had told him a while ago before he told me he liked me that I needed advance notice. I mentioned it again last week and so maybe he forgot I'm not sure. I had assumed he had known or remembered. in addition everytime he asked me to hang out on the day of I would always let him know why I couldn't and what I was doing so it was always legit reasons. I should have probably made it more clear that I needed the notice earlier but like I said I assumed he had remembered. And also logically figured that he would see that on days when he doesn't give me notice we are less likely to go out. He understands now though.
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