Gender specific: Do looks matter ? (dates, wife, how to, women)

[MaxLMG]

I've been reading a lot of these threads and had to create this thread. What is the weighted significance of physical appearance/looks that you have experienced or do you prefer related to gender ?

I'm 29 yrs old male, and my personal experience has been:

Physical attractiveness (as an average) matters to men 80/20. So, 80% emphasis on looks, 20% related to attributes outside of physical attributes.

Physical attractiveness (as an average) matters to women 50/50. So, 50% emphasis on looks, 50% related to attributes outside of physical attributes.



Women examples:

Physical: Height. I read the 'no threads about height' so I'll just make this one point, I've noticed that women are willing to overlook a lot of men's physical flaws including hair loss, but one that they seem to not budge on is height. I have not experienced anything as significant of a deal breaker in terms of physical appearance. Women surprisingly are even willing to bend on a man being 'heavier set' even. Women don't seem to mind men getting older, grey hairs, wrinkles, etc...

Non-Physical: Employment. This is probably the #1 in non-physical, even if a man is attractive, if he is unemployed that will probably be a deal breaker for a lot of women (even if it's not his fault). Another is 'neediness' or 'clingy'. I've heard this so many times how a guy was so needy or clingy after just 1-2 dates and that was it at that point.


Men examples:

Physical attractiveness: Weight. This seems to be a big one, and is for myself included. This probably explains why a very attractive woman who has done nothing physically other than lose excess weight suddenly gets so much attention from men. Another would be face. At least for myself personally, an attractive face>nice body. These are pretty much the big 2. I don't really care about the brand of heels you are wearing, or what brand dress you are wearing even if it costs $1.00...........just how high are the heels and how tight/revealing is the dress...... I think I speak for most men here when I say this lol. Age seem to be another one along with physical attributes that come with it. That's why Demi Moore is 50 yet spending $$$$ trying to look younger.

Non-Physical: I've noticed most men will put up with a lot if the girl is really attractive even for awhile anyway. Employment and even clinginess don't seem to be an issue in the short-term. I would say for this probably constant nagging from the get-go, but judging from some of my friends, they put up with nearly anything...kinda pathetic actually lol.


So anyways, that's my observation. Men: 80/20, Women:50/50.....

[iknowftbll]

I voted that looks matter more to men. In my experience a lot of the women I've dated, while looks mattered to them, were simply not as visually motivated as me or many of the men I know. When my wife walks by without anything on, I stop what I'm doing and watch, even in the middle of a Broncos game. When I walk by naked, if I want her attention I have to do something silly to get it. I'll leave the specifics to your imagination.

Most women will acknowledge looks matter, but visual stimulation in men is much higher from what I can figure. Hence looks are likely more important to men.

[Mikala43]

Attraction is a requirement and that is made up of different factors, so I don't know how to answer.

My best friend and I were ALWAYS attracted to different guys, and had no idea what the other saw in them.

[Auraliea]

I am attracted to whatever I am attracted to.

I don't typically follow what others' consider attractive but is attractive to me. I have liked guys that other people thought weren't all that great looking but they were "cute" to me. My feelings come whenever they want to. I can't really control them.

As for males, in my area a lot of males generally prefer the voluptuous or "thick" females. (I.E. Large chest, flat stomach, wide hips with a nice bum.) I am too thin to some and just right for others. I don't put too much emphasis on my appearance as everyone is attracted something different. The men who have liked me, like how I looked and liked my personality.

As cliched as this is, beauty is really in the eye of the beholder, for me anyway.....

[srjth]

I would say in general looks matter to men 60/40, with looks edging out personality, and in general, looks matter to women 70/30, with personality winning out. This is a generalization though, there are men and women who are exceptions ot this.

(Note: personality is everything outside of looks)

[HappyRain]

I say generally looks matter more for men. But not to say women don't care about looks. It's just if a guy is hot, but has a bad personality, any woman not desperate is gonna leave. But men will put up with a hot, good-in-bed, *****, for a good while until or unless they find better.

Not to say all men of course. There are exceptions to everything. But I say for looks, men edge out. And women, while caring about looks, personality counts for half the grade.

For me. Some guys I thought were ok. But saw their personality and they got sexy. Some I thought were ugly, but that had personality traits I loved, and they became sexy, even looks fell into place, and I liked looking at them too. Sexy

I won't give a name. But one guy I liked was very skinny. He was tall though. Almost 6,9. He looked really skinny, had tight eyes, and big teeth, and a scratchy voice. But, his personality I loved. Confidence, with inner insecurities, but strong and tough. So, I thought he was sexy as ever. Had a crush on him for the longest, even just looking at him, I thought he was hot. My friend however said he looked like a horse lol and my mother and her mother agreed. But for me, he had the personality I liked. All of them hated his personality as well.

So, I can't say I don't care about looks. but it a guy has a personality I love, his looks can fall into place later. but looks do make one take notice.

[Mikala43]

I think everything here would go better if each gender would answer for themselves, NOT how they think the other gender views the question.

[Auraliea]

Originally Posted by Mikala43

I think everything here would go better if each gender would answer for themselves, NOT how they think the other gender views the question.

True.

I like this.

[Metaphysique]

I agree, OP. Looks are important, but men, as a whole, place a greater importance on looks than women.

[MaxLMG]

I agree men do. But I also hear people say women don't care about looks which is not true as well.

My own experience is for women it's 50/50. Age 20s women I've noticed care more than age 30s. For me personally it's 70/30.

I have rejected women before who were very attractive. One reason is too much partying and drinking. I don't mind drinking but I've met women who use partying as an excuse for being an alcoholic. Or being "stressed" for excessive alcohol consumption.

Another is too many guy friends. Normal women have both male and female friends. Women who allegedly can't get along with women and only have guy friends I stop talking to them afterwards. That's usually a red flag for insecurity/desperate for attention.