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I know this is a little personal for some people. But I need help in figuring this thing out. I want to get the Mirana (Birth control), My Boyfriend is getting so upset that I am going to get this. He thinks that it is going to make me be infertile and he wants to try for another baby in the next 2 years. I on the other hand don't want to have a baby in the near future or let alone have another baby period. He refuses to where condoms because he says they don't make it feel as good. I really want to get this because I feel it's my body and I want to be able to make the decision when I do have another baby. He said he thinks I'm cheating on him and that's why I want to get this. I just had a baby April 16th and she is a handful, plus I have 2 other children age 6,8. My Boyfriend works from 6am-6pm everyday and sometimes on Sat. too. So, I have the Children fulltime and it can be very overwhelming sometimes between getting the boys up and ready for school, cooking, dishes, laundry, nursing and caring for an infant, and keeping the rest of the house clean. He helps with the baby when he can but honestly, he is not much help at all. My 6,8 year old do a better job. I know that's mean to say but it's true. Every time the poor girl wrinkles her nose he passes her back to me and tells me she hates him. I have told him that I want to get this and he is more or less telling me that I am selfish for doing this to him. He even threatened to call my doctor and curse her out for even suggesting this product to me. My question is, am I wrong for wanting to do this? If not Then how can I put his mind at ease? and if I am then please let me know.
It's your body not his. If you don't want children, take all possible precautions. And I would really worry about a boyfriend who was this controlling.
It's your body not his. If you don't want children, take all possible precautions. And I would really worry about a boyfriend who was this controlling.
Yup. Are all three children his? How long have you been with him for? Being pregnant, giving birth, taking care of children - these aren't small things that someone can force you or guilt you into doing.
Girl, you have your hands full and you haven't indicated if the other children are his or not and if you are working and can support yourself and your children without him.
It is your body, yes, and you do have the right to make these decisions when informed. If you want to include him in this process then my best advice would be to sit together and read over this. It's the official site for the product and goes through all the risks and frequently asked questions.
I would also include him in going to the doctor's with you to have all this explained as it was explained to you.
In addition, Planned Parenthood, gives birth control classes for free on Saturdays and different times and all they do is go through ALL birth control methods, including condoms and all the excuses for not wanting to wear one, and what the benefits are, how to use them, percentage of effectiveness and risks. They don't promote one over the other. Then they have a Q&A. This is something the both of you should do.
If he refuses to participate in any of these and be a part of getting informed - either kick him to the curb or do whatever you want.
Getting the Mirana seems less an issue for debate than staying with or not staying with this boyfriend of yours. You need to do what's right for yourself and for the 3 kids you already have. If his desires do not align with your best interests or that of your kids you may need to begin developing your exit strategy.
Let's see... he is your boyfriend and he wants you to keep popping out kids, he refuses to participate in birth control, and yet he isn't willing to marry you, which means he is not committed to you and maybe not committed to his child.. Do I have that right? I don't see this ending well for you and I suggest you take a little more charge of your own life before it gets any worse.
I know this is a little personal for some people. But I need help in figuring this thing out. I want to get the Mirana (Birth control), My Boyfriend is getting so upset that I am going to get this. He thinks that it is going to make me be infertile and he wants to try for another baby in the next 2 years. I on the other hand don't want to have a baby in the near future or let alone have another baby period. He refuses to where condoms because he says they don't make it feel as good. I really want to get this because I feel it's my body and I want to be able to make the decision when I do have another baby. He said he thinks I'm cheating on him and that's why I want to get this. I just had a baby April 16th and she is a handful, plus I have 2 other children age 6,8. My Boyfriend works from 6am-6pm everyday and sometimes on Sat. too. So, I have the Children fulltime and it can be very overwhelming sometimes between getting the boys up and ready for school, cooking, dishes, laundry, nursing and caring for an infant, and keeping the rest of the house clean. He helps with the baby when he can but honestly, he is not much help at all. My 6,8 year old do a better job. I know that's mean to say but it's true. Every time the poor girl wrinkles her nose he passes her back to me and tells me she hates him. I have told him that I want to get this and he is more or less telling me that I am selfish for doing this to him. He even threatened to call my doctor and curse her out for even suggesting this product to me. My question is, am I wrong for wanting to do this? If not Then how can I put his mind at ease? and if I am then please let me know.
He's accusing you of cheating and you have the care of three children under 10 years old? Where would you get the time (or the energy)? When you said you had the care of all those children alone and you feel overwhelmed at times, you answered your own question as to whether you should engage in family planning and get the product inserted. You should if your doctor feels it would NOT be harmful or dangerous to your health. If it is determined that it is, explore other reversible methods similar to this one. Your boyfriend can help you worry about your fertility should he ever legally become your husband. Meantime, you do what you need to do to make it in life and you definitely need to run your life so that the children already depending on you thrive. The more children you have with no support system (you don't appear to have one) the less well the children already there will do. And the less YOU will thrive, as well.
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