Auto Fail = Male giving card with contact info to female? (dates, boyfriend)
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LOL, someone just argued elsewhere that I was the one being too old fashioned and antiquated (hate that word) by giving these girls my card.
Well, based on the kind of woman you're looking for vs. the kind you're used to getting, perhaps the best approach is the old fashioned one.
That's not to say you'll end up with a woman with no initiative of her own, it simply cuts to the chase. If the banter and signals are good you could say, "I'd really like to call you sometime. Here's my card, what's your number?"
Maybe it sets you up for an immediate rejection, but it will keep you from wondering why she didn't call you. And trust me that women do like to be asked out by interesting men. It's flattering.
Handing her a card and expecting a call borders on being passive aggressive. All the dating sites tell women not to go for a guy who does that.
IMO handing out a business card to a potential date seems fine to me. It shows that the guy has honorable intentions and also indicates more info about him. What the OP could have done better is tried to get the young women's contact info after she accepted his card.
In the case of the girl he went to school with, it would have been clearer that he was interested in seeing her again romantically.
Don't give a business card to show off. It is massively douchey. Only give a card if you don't have the time to exchange numbers with cell phone or paper.
I made the mistake of giving my card to a girl I thought was hot a few years ago. I thought she would be impressed with my 'Dr.' prefix and title, but she just thought I was showing off and didn't call. I ran into her again a month later and we dated for a while, but she specifically told me the business card thing was a turn off.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert20170
I always liked to avoid giving a card to a potential dating interest, because to me it seemed pretentious. It's like, "Look at me and the cool job I have. Aren't you impressed?"
This is exactly how I would see it. If I were single and someone handed me their card I'd likely pitch it in the trash. This gesture would be an absolute auto-fail...however I'm not in my 20's either so maybe this is generational.
I expect your business card will get thrown away. It's very rare a woman is going to contact you first. The odds are not with you on this.
You either get her number or forget it.
Better yet as someone already suggested, go for trying to program her number into your phone.
No no no no no no no no NO!!! What you just said above is a beta male rationalization hamster working overtime.
It doesn't necessarily mean you never had a chance. It could mean that. But it could also mean that your passive half measures were ineffective.
Good women like a man who is decisive, confident, principled, and can declare his intentions. So basically everything that handing a woman your card and kinda sorta waiting to see what happens is not.
Other than "beta male rationalization hamster", I agree with this. If you're interested, show it by doing more than handing her a card. Really, why should she call you? She knows nothing about you other than you're willing to give out your number. Have you made a connection? Has she signalled interest in you? If you're interested in her, ask to get a cup of coffee, instead of sitting back and waiting and expecting her to do the work.
If you don't feel comfortable or are worried that handing out a business card would seem douchey, lots of people have non-business cards/social cards printed up.
I've also know a lot of guys who will hand a girl their business card, but pen a quick note on the back (i.e., their personal mobile number, something like "Call me & I'll introduce you to the best Tex-Mex food in town" or something that somehow ties into the conversation. Basically, something to make it clear you don't want her resume or for her to give your resume to her manager, but also be careful to not write something that you wouldn't want your boss or HR department to see!
Last time I was single and a guy handed me his business card, we were both having a quick dinner in the bar of a nice steakhouse. We struck up a conversation, wound up comparing favorite restaurants, he told me about one I'd never been to. When he gave me his business card, he wrote a quick note on the back that said something like "Thanks for the chat. If you'd ever like to try <name of steakhouse>, give me a call, I'd love to take you to dinner."
I suspect a lot of women are more comfortable with being handed a business card because it gives the sense that the guy is stable and together enough to get hired somewhere and hold down a full-time job, so presumably the odds are low that he's a raging alcoholic, drug abuser, etc. (Personally, I think this can give a false sense of security, but hey, something to think about.)
I like the idea (and was also going to suggest it) of writing something personal on the back - that gives her the message that you're not just being professional.
While the most "ideal" way is to get HER number, IF you're going to go this route, adding that little touch will help a bit.
Another thing is - you can ask to "exchange" cards when you hand yours out - then she can either say "I don't have a business card, but here's my number" - or just "well I don't have a card, blah blah" - then you can say "well why don't I get your phone number then" or whatever. That can also soften the "asking for her number" part with better results.
It's okay to give out your card. I agree that it's wise to write something personal on the back to let her know that it's not just business. You can even do this right in front of her.
Trust me, OP, the business card is an auto fail, if you're an average guy, at least.
You have to remember, the women here who are saying they'd love to receive a card are picturing 6'2" handsome guy in a tailored suit hand them a gold-embossed business card, with a devilishly fetching smirk.
Maybe I'm terrible at this but whenever a guy hands me his business card, I assume it's mostly just business or he's not that interested or he probably hands his card to several other girls so no biggie.
With that said, I usually don't ring him up because in my mind it was just a business card handed out like a pack of Skittles so who cares? I can be quite clueless at times..
I expect your business card will get thrown away. It's very rare a woman is going to contact you first. The odds are not with you on this.
You either get her number or forget it.
Better yet as someone already suggested, go for trying to program her number into your phone.
I really hate it when guys try to do this. I cannot tell you how many times a guy has pressured me to give him my number, when I wasn't interested and he wasn't reading or wasn't respecting my verbal and non-verbal signals. I don't know, maybe some guys think girls are just being coy or demure or playing hard to get.
As much as I dislike the idea of giving a fake phone number, women did that for decades because it offered a safe escape hatch - they could give the guy a set of digits and leave without being pressured further. (I also think it sucks for a guy to call a fake number and get the pizza delivery . . . or worse, some random stranger.)
So, if you're going to try and get her number, and especially if you're going to program it into your phone on the spot and call her to verify it . . . be prepared for some awkward rejection . . . in person.
On a related note - a lot of us are also more likely to give a guy an email address rather than a phone number. Easier to change an email address, a lot of us hate talking on the phone, etc. I used to have an email address I used only for stuff like initial dating - it didn't have any identifying info like my last name associated with it.
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