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If you REALLY believe that nothing is happening..... ugh. Just ugh. It's a foolish belief, let me put it that way. Naive and foolish.
Since you're asking about this, I have a hard time believing that you ACTUALLY buy that load of bull. Maybe you don't consciously realize it, but on a sub-conscious level you know "something ain't right here".
At the absolute very least, she's demonstrated to you quite effectively that she has NO respect for you. None. Zero. Zip. Zilch.
Why are you still with this woman? Why haven't you shown her the door? Things will NOT get better; she won't just magically 'grow' respect for you all of a sudden. She'll just happily spend whatever you're making from your job that conveniently takes you away from home when she wants to 'have a little fun', and then when she gets bored with you she will happily have The System bend you over. AND she'll extract even MORE of what you've worked for from you.
Your choices are thus:
1) Continue living this way, and in a few years when she's put in enough time to get her maximum payout, she'll pull that big ol' eject lever and The State will give her cash and prizes (YOUR money and YOUR stuff)
2) Cut your losses now and be done with her.
The longer you continue on with her, the greater your loss will be WHEN she decides to cash out.
Geez fingers crossed he ignores this entire ridiculous post
At the absolute very least, she's demonstrated to you quite effectively that she has NO respect for you. None. Zero. Zip. Zilch.
.
This is the real problem. She just doesn't respect you, Period. Your concerns mean absolutely nothing.
Don't think she's there just to dance with her single girlfriends whenever you're out of town, Lol please. Its like taking someone on a diet to an all you can eat buffet.
I understand your discomfort with this. And you do not have to justify your concerns to anyone here. But have you tried explaining to her why this makes you so uncomfortable?
My husband and I have a pact to each respect the other's comfort zones and when possible to bend toward the desire of the spouse on issues that give us concern.
Am I always able to abide by his wishes? No. Is he always able to abide by mine? No.
But we talk it out and always do our best to accommodate one another.
At the end of the day it's all about mutual respect and she needs to understand how disrespected you are feeling.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nite Ryder
You come across to me as a man who is jealous and does not trust his wife. I'm not trying to be mean spirited, I'm trying to be serious, either you trust your wife to always do the right thing, or you don't. Your wife is an adult, shouldn't she be able to make her own decisions? When she got married she didn't think she would have to give up her right to think for herself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
It's neither okay or not okay for a married woman to go clubbing. It depends on the couple themselves. Obviously, it's not okay to the OP for his wife to go clubbing. That's something that they need to discuss and come to a decision between the two of them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raptor76
I agree with the posters that state, it's for you and your wife to decide if it is right or wrong. There is nothing wrong with the OP having an issue with it, he just needs to discuss it with his wife. Each relationship is unique, and people have to do what works best for them, not for others who are outside their marriage. It's the same opinion I have when guys get upset because their wives don't like them watching porn. Talk to her about it, and see why she is upset and make a decision from there. The OP is not wrong in how he feels, because he knows what he wants for his wife, and she can either respect that, or move on and find someone else that is more compatiable with her, and doesn't mind her going out, that's her right as well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
Look, I'm on your side here, but honestly you are just making yourself look more and more like the problem.
Just because single men go to clubs to pick up women does not mean a married woman has no right to ever go to a club with her girlfriends!
Bottom line is you either trust your wife or you don't.
Since you apparently don't, THAT is the issue you two need to speak to a counselor about.
Quote:
Originally Posted by oilfieldman1981
You're right I do trust her to handle the situation but doesn't make me have to like it either it's a matter of personal belief also
And you are entitled to feel the way you feel....just take the good advice and opinions offered in the above posts and work on better communication with your wife.
How the heck is this about trust? I do not like a drunk man hitting on my wife. Do I believe she is gonna turn it down sure do but to be put in the environment where she draws that attention is wrong period.
ROFL. Men hit on us EVERYWHERE. In traffic, grocery store, bank, work..........
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OP, stop lying to us and yourself because if you didn't think something is or maybe going on (and I do not blame you), then logically you would not care one way or another... IMHO it is inappropriate and she needs to respect how you feel about the subject. Also, you never really truly know anyone. I know it's P.C. and all, but trusting someone blindly is foolish. There should be different levels of trust, and the fact that she's hell bent on repeatedly going to clubs and bars (which is historically a hook up place) despite how you feel about it would at the very least send up red flags for me.
Personally, if my husband was bothered by something I wouldn't do it.... in large part because he wouldn't tell me "no", and I care about his feelings.
We discussed stuff like this before we got married to see if our views were similar.
What does SHE say? When you tell her it bothers you, what is her response? You have said you don't like her going to bars or clubs.... can she go for dinner at a restaurant that also has a bar? Have she had trouble with infidelity in the past?
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I agree. You can also be robbed anywhere, but that doesn't mean you should wonder around bad neighborhoods at night....
That's not a bad point, and it really depends on the type of person the OP's GF is, or how he thinks she is.
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Don't think she's there just to dance with her single girlfriends whenever you're out of town, Lol please. Its like taking someone on a diet to an all you can eat buffet.
You're thinking like a guy. Married women don't think like this. However, I agree she doesn't have any concern for her husband's feelings.
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fingers crossed he ignores this entire ridiculous post
