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I do agree we spent too much time together. Every morning as I was leaving, he would ask me about my plans for the evening. I liked spending time with him and it felt good to finally meet a guy who didn't do the stupid call every 2-3 days thing. It was nice knowing (or thinking that I knew) that this guy actually liked me and wanted to see me. In the future i will not do this again.
I think what really hurts is that he would just completely cut contact so suddenly. When I left saturday morning everything was fine. I kissed him goodbye and skipped out the door...to never hear from him again. I wonder if he was waiting for me to contact him first this time or if he just decided he's done. It's so weird to go from spending everyday together to not hearing from that him AT ALL. I've had guys do a slow fade on me but never a complete disappearing act like this lol. I want to contact him and ask how he is or if I did anything wrong but I don't want to look desperate or stupid.
Also, I have only been single for a year. Prior to that I was in a six year relationship so I feel like I'm dating for the first time. I didn't think it would send the wrong message for me to spend the night over a guys house, especially because he kept asking me to and seemed respectful.
It sounds to me like this guy has issues that would be too much for me.
In your shoes, I would be hurt, but I would also be glad that he was gone. The alternative would be to be more deeply in the relationship, more emotionally attached -- and then he pulls some immature stunt like this one.
That guy is messed up. He is not all guys. And I bet it was not about the sex.
I hope you're not talking about me, because I have never mentioned a rule, or an expectation. And the term must is offensive. No one must, or should, or ever be pressured into having sex with someone and I've not seen anyone imply or state any such thing.
It's easy for guys to get dates and "rack up numbers" too, but in the real world, no one gives a crap about things like that. Most people don't sl*t shame and tend to be more sex positive. I doubt anyone healthy, as an adult, asks how many partners the other has had. That just isn't reality Ho? Seriously? Weak.
I disagree and it isn't about sl*t shaming it's about not wanting to sleep around. I don't know why it's difficult to fathom that some people don't want to and not because of what others think. They just don't want to do that.
I think what really hurts is that he would just completely cut contact so suddenly. When I left saturday morning everything was fine. I kissed him goodbye and skipped out the door...to never hear from him again. I wonder if he was waiting for me to contact him first this time or if he just decided he's done. It's so weird to go from spending everyday together to not hearing from that him AT ALL. I've had guys do a slow fade on me but never a complete disappearing act like this lol. I want to contact him and ask how he is or if I did anything wrong but I don't want to look desperate or stupid.
He might have been. So why didn't you contact him? You think saying "Hey, how are you?" is going to make you look desperate or stupid?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nomadic1
I don't think I'm coming off as clingy. I never asked the guy to hang out, he always contacted me. I never even contacted him first. I would sometimes be busy hanging with friends and he would want to hang out and he would end up meeting us out somewhere because he wanted to see me. If anything HE was the clingy one lol.
This. You need to put in some effort too.
I don't think this has anything to do with sex. I think you've got some issues.
He might have been. So why didn't you contact him? You think saying "Hey, how are you?" is going to make you look desperate or stupid?
This. You need to put in some effort too.
I don't think this has anything to do with sex. I think you've got some issues.
Lol why do you think I have issues? I guess maybe I am traditional and always believed men will contact you when they want to see you, especially in the beginning stages of dating. This seems to be the general consensus everywhere except CD. Besides that he never had a problem contacting me before.
It sounds to me like this guy has issues that would be too much for me.
In your shoes, I would be hurt, but I would also be glad that he was gone. The alternative would be to be more deeply in the relationship, more emotionally attached -- and then he pulls some immature stunt like this one.
That guy is messed up. He is not all guys. And I bet it was not about the sex.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,096,007 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth
I disagree and it isn't about sl*t shaming it's about not wanting to sleep around. I don't know why it's difficult to fathom that some people don't want to and not because of what others think. They just don't want to do that.
And they don't have to. No one cares. If a person doesn't want to sleep with someone, they shouldn't. No one has ever claimed otherwise.
But calling people that have no problems having sex with people casually, or have sex with several partners sl*ts or hos is shaming. It is casting people that do so in a negative light. It's judgmental crap. Your words were the person would be a "ho", you were saying there is something wrong with what they were doing.
That is different than saying it isn't for you. Completely different. There are lots of things that aren't for me in dating or in sex. Tons of them. That doesn't mean I judge the people that are into it or use terminology indicating that they are less worthy, or less of a quality person, because they are.
Lol why do you think I have issues? I guess maybe I am traditional and always believed men will contact you when they want to see you, especially in the beginning stages of dating. This seems to be the general consensus everywhere except CD. Besides that he never had a problem contacting me before.
I just think at 27 years old you shouldn't be afraid to ask a guy that you've been seeing for more than a month to hang out with you. You come across much younger to me. I understand being traditional and wanting guys to pursue you but after a certain point you need to make an effort too. It seems very one-sided. Most guys aren't going to tell you they have a problem always contacting you. They are just going to stop contacting you like he did.
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