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You friend has bigger issues than just getting her back 40 plowed properly by some guy, a grown up normal woman wouldn't deal with BS like that.
I don't care how **** sprung she is......
Well she does. She's 25 I believe.
Been with this guy for 11 months now. She tried ending it a bunch of times, only to run back to him. She tried ending it again last month. Idk if she's run back to him yet or not. Seems her trying to end it, is ways of testing him to see if he cares. But once again, he sleeps with her, and goes back to his girlfriend, sometimes without talking to her for weeks, until he wants more booty. In the beginning she really thought she'd end up getting him over the current girlfriend.
But least she knows he's using her now. She just still can't leave, and is grasping that he may like her. But she has stated she feels disgusted at being used, and can't leave him, because she likes him too much. She liked him from the start when he started talking to her, and said he had a girlfriend already, but wanted to sleep with her. She hated having a sex-only relationship, but said it was the only way she could see him.
So, you'd be shocked what some people put up with when they have no self esteem or self-respect. She always talks about how she's hot, and what a catch she is. She hates on his girlfriend, calling her fat and ugly. But for someone so arrogant, she sure takes alot of crap from one man. If he's all she can get, she must not be as great as she acts. She says she has no friends either, and being hot is what ruins her life.
My self-esteem is low, but even I wouldn't put up with that--Idc how hot the guy is. Possibly my low self esteem made me less tolerant of BS--not counting naturals self-respect lol.
Last edited by HappyRain; 07-12-2014 at 07:37 PM..
Oh, good grief!!
All I'm saying is that we fought hard for equality. What was the point if women still expect to be treated like delicate flowers who are unable to pay their own way and wait for the man to open a door?
Seems like a lot of women want it both ways. They want the same earning power, but the man should still pay? Why should he?
I am woman, hear me roar, but I need a man to open my door. And killing bugs is too much of a chore.
Personally, I always expect to pay my way for everything, especially with a stranger I'm now getting to know. Unless someone says "my treat" and insists and vice versa, everyone I know expects to pay for themselves.
Oh please. Men and women are different when it comes to dating. I want to be treated equally at work, but dating is different. What's the point of dating if I'm going to be treated like one of his guy friends while we're out on a date?
Men and women are differnet when it comes to work too in many cases..
So in other words, you want to be treated equally when it suits you, when it feels right, when you are in an environment that being treated equally gives you some benefit but in the dating game, being treated that way makes you feel less important, it makes you feel masculine, it provides less benefit and no longer feels right so in such an environment you wish to no longer be treated equally because it no longer suits you.
Why is it that I never see anyone say they want to be treated equally when dating but not when at work...
I wonder what you would think if a man opened all of his own doors and paid his way but as soon as you both went out to a cinema or a restuarant he said ''I expect you to do that for me now honey'.
I'm sorry but from a guy's point of view. If I don't pay while I'm courting a girl/lady/woman,.....I don't have any god damn business dating or courting....Sorry. I remember going out on a date when I was in 8th grade and I paid. If a grown azz man doesn't know that....he needs to be single.
I wonder what you would think if a man opened all of his own doors and paid his way but as soon as you both went out to a cinema or a restuarant he said ''I expect you to do that for me now honey'.
Or "she has bad manners because she didn't make me feel special".
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4
Because you haven't bothered to read the thread...where several people have said just that.
Looks like you didn't even bother to finish reading his sentence. He said, "equally when dating but not when at work". Nobody in this thread has said that.
I am not sure what you're saying. If women want the right to vote, earn a living and not be discriminated against, we must also give up all feminine essence? I do not see the connection. Yes, I am independent and self-supporting, but in a romantic relationship I want to be the feminine one, the more submissive one, and I want the man to be the leader and be the masculine essence. It has nothing to do with my working life or my voting history or anything else of the sort.
No one is saying you have to give up all feminine essence but there is a connection between equality and what you desire in a romantic relationship. They are simply pointing out the double standard that you are denying existance of.
Quote:
After the women's liberation movement of the 1960s, which insisted on the equal treatment of women in all domains of life, feminists dismissed chivalry as sexist. They still do. A new study, published in the feminist journal Psychology of Women Quarterly, questions the entire enterprise of male chivalry, which, in an Orwellian flourish, it calls "benevolent sexism.
Quote:
Will holding doors open for them or paying for the first date be interpreted as sexist?
Gender equality focuses on men and women being treated equally and extends much further than being able to vote and earn a living without being discriminated against. It appears you only mentioned the areas that are important to you. This is why people keep on calling you out on it and this is why people keep on 'argueing' with you. It's a double standard. If you want to be treated equally but only in certain areas then it's a double standard.
''I want to be treated equally at work, I want to be paid the same and I am independent but when I go on a date, I want to be treated inequally because it makes me feel feminine'. Think about what equality means, there is no inbetween. Imagine at work you got paid equally but only on some days of the week..
When gender equality is mentioned, often it highlights the independent and empowered woman that can do everything a man can do, pay her own way and stand on her own two feet. Take a look at the quote below for someone elses oppinion.
Quote:
Chivalrous behavior is benevolent because it flatters women and leads to their preferential treatment. But it is sexist because it relies on the “gendered premise” that women are weak and in need of protection while men are strong. “Benevolent sexism,” Kathleen Connelly and Martin Heesacker of the University of Florida write in the study, ‘is an ideology that perpetuates gender inequality.
So they see Chivalry as a promotion of gender inequality and sexisim. Take a look here and you will see a woman who is against Chilvalry.
Quote:
...Which is exactly why chivalry is dangerous. Because it blankets itself as courtesy while concealing a dramatic assertion of inequality between the sexes. There’s no way around it: Chivalry is about viewing women as fragile, delicate creatures who need special protection, special consideration, and special treatment. Chivalry sets women upon a pedestal.
Quote:
The chivalric code was written at a time when women’s agency and equality and abilities were not even questioned—they simply didn’t exist. We’ve come so far since then. Isn’t it time we updated the meaning of the word chivalry to consider the autonomy and capabilities of women that we’ve fought for so long to be recognized? Isn’t it time women gave up the benefits of chivalry for our right to be treated as capable beings?
Many argue that equal rights entail equal responsibilities in all areas including dating and some women believe chilvalry is sexist and an insult to the equality they have fought so long for. This is why it's a double standard. You need only consider the overall definition of equality or something being equal, it either is, or it isn't.
Quote:
According to recent studies by the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, we, as a contemporary society, are very slowly inching our way towards gender equality in the fields of equal pay, legal rights and gender discrimination. There are however many obstacles that stop society from progressing to a point where a persons sex no longer affects everyday social, work and romantic transactions – chivalry being the main one.
Quote:
Sandra Allen, an expert in gender studies from Sydney University, agrees. “The continued act of chivalry based on gender is a smear on equality,” she said. “It teaches both sexes that we treat someone differently based upon what lies between our legs…we need to be taught that consideration extends equally, regardless of gender”.
Last edited by QuestOfTruth; 07-12-2014 at 11:40 PM..
I am not sure what you're saying. If women want
the right to vote, earn a living and not be discriminated against, we must also
give up all feminine essence? I do not see the connection. Yes, I am independent
and self-supporting, but in a romantic relationship I want to be the feminine
one, the more submissive one, and I want the man to be the leader and be the
masculine essence. It has nothing to do with my working life or my voting
history or anything else of the sort.
Well, I am a feminist and feminism is about choice. If you want to be submissive, subservient, and feel like you need a leader...well, more power to you. Or rather, less. Good luck with that.
Men and women are differnet when it comes to work too in many cases..
So in other words, you want to be treated equally when it suits you, when it feels right, when you are in an environment that being treated equally gives you some benefit but in the dating game, being treated that way makes you feel less important, it makes you feel masculine, it provides less benefit and no longer feels right so in such an environment you wish to no longer be treated equally because it no longer suits you.
Why is it that I never see anyone say they want to be treated equally when dating but not when at work...
I wonder what you would think if a man opened all of his own doors and paid his way but as soon as you both went out to a cinema or a restuarant he said ''I expect you to do that for me now honey'.
I don't need my coworkers to make me feel special, needed, beautiful, etc. And I don't want my romantic interest to make me feel like we have a working relationship. I'm not sure why this is hard to understand...
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