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Hi.
I was with my ex girlfriend for more than 8 years but I always kept getting treated, in my opinion, like poo. She would go missing alot and I'd find out she'd been with other blokes who she always said were just friends of hers. She did cheat on more than one occasion and I always patched things up hoping that the amount of time I had been with her would count for something. I didnt want to throw away so many memories.
I am now in a position of missing her and pondering over them happy days out, the chit chat together, the coffee dates where I'd meet her from work.
Basically, how it ended was thus: I was supposed to meet her late afternoon on her 30th b'day in March but she kept putting it off throughout the day and eventually at 11pm she said she was "sowie" about today and wont be able to meet me as she had spent he whole day with her family. I was gutted but said it was her special day to spend as she wanted. But was even more gutted when I saw on her instagram a pic she had posted of a ring in a rose. Her sister posted a comment asking if this guy (I wont mention names but I knew of him and he was close to her family) gave it to her in a rose. Well that put the cat amongst the pidgeons as I had already caught this guy and my gf together on a night out in recent months,. She told me they were just friends. Strange to se then that he had his arm round her when walking.
But anyway, after seeing this instagram pic the day after her b'day, I messaged her telling her that we should speak. She duly un-friended me from Instagram, obviously knowing what I had seen.
I cant remember exactly how things went from there but she messaged me Good Morning three mornings in a row the following few days but I simply ignored them.
Then she asked that she has alot of stuff at mine and can she have it back. I think this was to test me to see if I'd say, let's work things out as I'd always done before. Instead I messaged her and told her that I would drop it at her mums.
It has been four months now and I only just packed her stuff the other day, putting it then in the spare room. I have heard nothing from her and I have not contacted her. But I am always now thinking of her. I am not looking at her facebook profile pics or trying to find out what she is up to as I know that will just hurt. But if she rang, I'd probably tell her I was missing her and part of me wants to text her and ask her if she thinks about me at any time? But I won't as it makes me look weak and stupid.
If anyone is aware of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, then I would like to add that I am quite sure that she suffers from that to a certain degree. Always not seeming to consider how her cheating and lying would affect me, and turning blame onto me in all incidences.
Do people think I should message her. I feel lonely at this time despite having some friends who like my company and a good family. But it is a woman's companionship that I long for and it just does not seem to be coming my way and it's getting me down somewhat.
Your heart just has to accept the fact that it's over and that you need to let go of her. She clearly has moved on, and from what it seems like, she is getting married, or is in a serious relationship with another man.
You should probably delete and block her from your friends. Try no contact for a while.
You need to either go on vacation and act irresponsibly, or meet new people, and forget about it. All I had to read was she treated you like poo, and that you were thinking...and I stopped. Why? Because there is no need to read further. So get on the horse, and have fun, you should celebrate her departure.
Sure, just tell her you are sorry you got upset when you found out she was having sex with other men. And promise in the future to not get upset when you find out she is having sex with more other men.
No, don't message her. Please... just don't. I'm not in the mood for secondhand embarrassment today.
You're not missing her. You're missing the few good memories in a really bad relationship. Don't you think after eight years, she'd want to invite you to celebrate her 30th birthday with her family?
Find someone else who will value you and don't let anyone walk all over you again. She did it in your relationship often, because she knew she could and once you finally took some action, she realized you were of no used to her. I could not fathom being someone's side piece for eight years.
Get some therapy to deal with whatever abandonment issues it is with which you're dealing.
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(love your accent) and a doormat. 
