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When men say they are not looking for drama, it means they want you to show them your garden of Eden with absolutely no expectations of them whatsoever.
If you ask:
Do you like movies?
Can we meet for a meal?
Do you work?
Do you have a car?
Do you have your own place?
How is your relationship with your family?
Do you like pets?
Can you help me tidy up?
How was your day today?
D.R.A.M.A.
Yes
Yes
Absolutely
Yes
Yes
I think so
Depends
Certainly
Enjoyable
I know you'd be enamored of me once you saw me in my Bugle Boy jeans!
This statement is a warning to me. My ex when you said anything to him he did not like or want to deal with(did not matter how you or why such as in response to something he did) you were starting drama.
Another guy I was acquainted with had the same attitude and didn't want drama. He frequently told stories of the "crazy women" he encountered but based on his stories he was the issue.
hmmm...note to self - men should welcome drama in a potential dating partner, to do otherwise is a bad thing per the majority of posters here...
Not me. I mean, SOME real drama is going to be present in life. Deaths, sicknesses, surgeries, etc. It's the unnecessary drama that I don't like - pouting, dropping arch hints, break up to make up, dysfunctional relationships with kids or parents, lying, cheating (or accusing me of those things, which I don't ever do), being a deceitful person in general, crying over small stuff, lack of activity, controlling behaviors, dumb financial decisions as a pattern of living - life is just too short. No thank you!
hmmm...note to self - men should welcome drama in a potential dating partner, to do otherwise is a bad thing per the majority of posters here...
That is not what we’re saying, at least I am not. What we’re saying is announcing to the world out of nowhere that you “Don’t do drama” is often a red flag for many reasons. And one claiming that he “doesn’t do drama” can be a tactic to avoid conflict resolution, or to mask the fact that he deals in drama.
Another guy I was acquainted with had the same attitude and didn't want drama. He frequently told stories of the "crazy women" he encountered but based on his stories he was the issue.
Prior to meeting my, my husband DID date all sorts of truly crazy women - and was married to one for a long time as well. They are out there - in droves.
Even after we started dating and he told everyone he was in a serious relationship, he would receive photos from women he had dated in the past - let's just say they were racy photos most of the time. These women also often had no money, several kids still at home, would call him crying - honestly, they were desperate women and desperate often translates into crazy aka "drama." So I get it. I totally get it.
One of my best attributes is that I am NOT a drama queen and never have been. I am a very level headed, objective, some might say UN emotional person. And actually I'm not unemotional - I'm just not ever depressed and I don't have significant mood swings. I mean, my husband freaking died last year and while I felt like I was and still am appropriately sad, life goes on and I just have to go on, ya know? So I do, and now a bit over a year after he died, I'm feeling the pull of life again, and actually I feel energetic and interested in life, and have for several months now. Of course I was shocked at first (it was a sudden and unexpected death and he was still young) and I was sad and still am sad sometimes and I miss him, but I'm not wallowing in sorrow or wearing my grief like some sort of cape if that makes sense. So if that didn't destroy my equilibrium, nothing will.
But don't kid yourself - there are lots and lots of crazy ass people out there.
In fact, the only man I MIGHT be interested in going out with (or maybe not...oh well, I don't care one way or the other) said in our first in depth discussion "I hate drama," and believe me, I know what he means and I agreed with him! I don't want to argue or fight or cry or whatever - ever. Disagree? Sure, sometimes. Argue? Fight? Cry? No thanks.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Special_Guest
That is not what we’re saying, at least I am not. What we’re saying is announcing to the world out of nowhere that you “Don’t do drama” is often a red flag for many reasons. And one claiming that he “doesn’t do drama” can be a tactic to avoid conflict resolution, or to mask the fact that he deals in drama.
Ita. A lot of ppl won’t take the person seriously IMO, because I would ….why can’t you just handle it if it comes up? Don’t do drama….but don’t talk about not doing drama. A dating profile is supposed to give you a fun & interesting view. If they are fun & interesting, they will have something else to say besides that.
That is not what we’re saying, at least I am not. What we’re saying is announcing to the world out of nowhere that you “Don’t do drama” is often a red flag for many reasons. And one claiming that he “doesn’t do drama” can be a tactic to avoid conflict resolution, or to mask the fact that he deals in drama.
Or he may just really, really dislike unnecessary drama. Don't forget that option.
Most men aren't as emotional as most women. I think that's OK too.
I like men. They taste like chicken. Just kidding. I really do like men - I think they are funny for the most part, even when they don't mean to be, and often when they do.
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….why can’t you just handle it if it comes up? Don’t do drama….but don’t talk about not doing drama.
A dating profile is supposed to give you a fun & interesting view. If they are fun & interesting, they will have something else to say besides that.
