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So, yet again, I've connected online with someone who seemed smart and literate, interesting and normal. We had reached a point of talking about making plans to meet this weekend....here it is Sunday and he didn't get back in touch with me. Removed his profile from OKCupid. So now I've wasted a week chatting up someone who wasn't actually available. Emotionally or whatever. I don't take it personally.
I think i'm going to try speed dating. I figure if a guy has enough gumption to pay and show up for it, he is going to be naturally more extroverted than a guy who is just sitting at home looking at profiles on OKC.
I don't know anyone who's actually done speed dating. Any experiences? How does it compare? Seems like a more efficient use of time, and you've actually got that first meet over with. If you meet someone, then you can go right to a first date.
Sorry this has happened to you, but whatever you do, DO NOT take this personally.
I think you get five or six minutes to talk to each person when speed dating. Honestly, I know that isn't really enough time for me to gauge a man, but I think that most men would find that to be plenty of time. They tend to judge based on attractiveness and the presence of a 'spark', right?
I can't always be 'on' personality wise, but if I can get myself dolled up and over to the venue, and get past the first guy, I'd probably do pretty well. I think you can at least start the conversation by admitting how silly this all is. If both people are newbies, expectations are low, if the guy has done it before, he'll have that to talk about. Then I can compliment his tie/shirt/shoes/hair/eyes and let my embarrassing goofball sense of humor take it from there. As in: if I say something dorky I'll just roll my eyes and say OMG I can't believe i said that.
I've been out with so many guys who didn't bother to shave or put on a decent shirt lately, I think that the incentive of dressing up a bit for speed dating might raise my expectations a bit.
Now...what to wear? I'll mull on that for the next three weeks.......
Tip about speed dating: you should try to get a date that night and not just wait for the match results. Usually after a speed dating event, some people will hang around. Use this opportunity to go talk to any guy you found interesting. Some event planners will be coy and tell you not to exchange numbers and wait for them to match you. Don't listen to them! Break their silly rules and be creative. I have only attended a few speed dating events in the past but I have gone to accompany a few friends at their events. I have gotten numbers from women even though I wasn't in the event. I have gotten numbers for my friends. I have gotten a whole group together to go on a group date after the event. The best thing about these events is that so many single people are in the same location. Don't go home with just a piece of paper with a bunch of yes or nos next to numbers.
I vote married. If he was so smart and all, and had simply found someone else, he would have been polite enough to tell you.
That's the classic married guy pattern -- chat until it is time to meet, then make a date, disappear, and delete profile.
Really? What's the point? Just to confirm that they are still attractive to others? Do married guys use their real photos on dating sites (seems risky)? So. Many. Questions.
Really? What's the point? Just to confirm that they are still attractive to others? Do married guys use their real photos on dating sites (seems risky)? So. Many. Questions.
I think they plan to cheat and then chicken out. That's what the ones I have talked to said, anyway.
I think speed dating is fun. I go about once every couple of months.Time varies, but usually it's 5-7 minutes per person depending upon attendance (more time per person if there are many no shows). I met a nice guy, but he wasn't interested beyond a second date. I was, but more like a friend. Plus he was kind of boring.
I think they plan to cheat and then chicken out. That's what the ones I have talked to said, anyway.
Many of them have no photos.
My experience with married guys doing online dating is that they tend to live fairly far out of town. They come across as self absorbed, so I find it fairly easy to spot them.
They do NOT tend to give you their full name so you can google them and find their linked in page and facebook page.
This particular guy was not married. Just shy, is my assessment.
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